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Hey everyone! My name is Kristen, I'm 20 and I'm a college junior studying pharmacy. I've been blessed with a really good life, and part of the reason for that is because I've learned to see GOOD in everything that happens to me. I love giving advice, and I've been told that I do a good job at it, but I'll let you decide! Feel free to ask me anything... don't be shy, that's why I'm here. I've been through a lot... moving from one country to another, leaving and finding new friends, break ups, boys, middle school, high school, college, self esteem issues... pretty much most things that people need help with.
I usually spend a good amount of time answering your questions, so I would really appreciate it if you leave me an honest rating along with some feedback (good or bad!) It really does help me improve my advice... and in the end, that's good for YOU! Talk to ya soon! :)
advice
Ok so im trying to work things out with my bf. we have been together almost 2 years and i am now pregnant even though i was told i couldnt have kids. We have set a date for marriage but there is a problem. He will not save any money and we are stuck renting a basement apartment at a friends house and im not bringing a baby into a basement. So, i suggested that we move down south with family where we could afford the cost of living. He refuses because all of his friends are here. So since he doesnt want to come with me, should i just leave him and go by myself??? I have no family or friends here and both of our families are down south. I think he is being selfish to want me and our baby to stay in a basement just because of his friends.
hey!
i agree with you 100%! he is being selfish and you can't let that kind of behavior go on. whether he wants it or not, it's time for him to grow up and start a completely new kind of life. from now on, it's not about what's best for him, it's about what's best for the baby.
honestly, from now on, life will be different for both of you. it's going to revolve around work and the baby. it's not going to revolve around friends. so what if all his friends are at home? he won't have time to see them! he will either have to work over time if you are home watching the baby, or he will have to watch the baby while you are at work. he will barely see his friends, so they might as well not be there.
if you move down south where both of your families are, you will have more of a life. you guys can make new friends there, and you will actually be able to go out every once in a while and have fun because you will have plenty of babysitters around... ones that you don't have to pay!
sit down, talk to him, explain all of this to him, and then even suggest that you guys can go there for a year and see how things go. if both of you really hate it there, you can always move back. his friends won't forget him... a year is nothing! and since the cost of living in the south is cheaper or you may even be able to live with family until you get adjusted, you can save up most of the money you guys earn there, and use it to get a nicer place if you decide to move back!
good luck and i hope all of this helped. just don't fight with him... talk everything out. give him choices... make decisions together. hopefully he will soon realize that a child is big responsibility, and whatever is best for the baby is what's best for everyone! :) let me know if you need more help! GOOD LUCK!
(Rating: 5) okay you have just told me everything that i have thought about this morning........right on the nail! thank you so much!