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Q: 13/f It seems like my life has gotten a little out of hand in terms of my friends. My "group" always gets in a lot of fights, i mean come on we're teenagers we live on drama. I always seem to get in the most fights though. Also, I'll blow off my family sooooooooooo much to hang out with my friends, just because I'm afraid that if I don't hang out with them, my best friend especially, we'll get so much closer and find a new best friend or something. I know I'm paranoid but I can't help it, it's just the way I am, especially since my best friend is very close with a lot of other friends and I have a feeling I could easily be replaced (even though she swears I cudn't). I don't know how to get out of these paranoid, always having to be with my friends, habbits. HELP!
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I know that there must be a lot on conflict coming between you and your friends and no matter what it's not going to stop, but you can get yourself out of it and that is what matters. A lot of times people will say things to other friends about some other friend and then it will get around to them and they'll find out that you were the one who said it.
The best that you can handle this gossip and bad talk is when someone starts to say something bad about a friend, just say, "I understand where you're coming from, but she is still a great person" or simply change the subject to avoid the backstabbing. And when you get upset with a friend, don't backstab. Just say to another friend, "It really upset me when she did this.." If you go and call that friend a slut or a whore and a lot of bad things, that friend will likely know about it later. The best that you can do for the sake of your group is when if you have an issue, you should let them know, not through a friend, just let them know what's upsetting you, and when you figure out through a friend that another friend is having an issue with you, just say, "Listen, I have a feeling that you may not be very happy with me, can we talk?" Instead of "Lisa told me that you called me a whore, what's up with that?"
All girls who have a best friend will always have other good friends no matter what. Your best friend has time with her family, so why shouldn't you be able to spend time with your family and not worry about her getting too close to someone else?
The fact is that if your best friend truly likes you and respects you as her best friend, then she won't let other friend jeopardize the friendship you have. I can't promise you that she won't find another good friend that might be closer with her than you both were, but that happens a lot. We meet friends and they become best friends, and then maybe that best friend will find another friend they love spending their time with. It doesn't make you less fun to be with. There will be times when you and a friend won't be as close, but if it ever gets to the point where that friend completely drops you, then maybe the friendship wasn't ment to last and the only thing you could do was let them know you miss them.
-TheTeenGirl
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bio
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My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.
I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.
Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.
About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 17 Member Since: January 18, 2005 Answers: 1364 Last Update: December 8, 2007 Visitors: 82332
Main Categories:
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