vickiooos's advice column

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Q: last year i went to a new highschoolwhere i knew just about nobody, and i met this girl who eventually became my best friend, danielle.

well we have been through alot but lately she has been trying to act all cool, like saying she was drunk when she wasnt or lying about going really far w/ guys to get attention. i talked to her about it a million times and we even stopped being friends for almost 2 weeks because of it but in the end she just goes back to it.

Then i learned to except it because she would grow out of it, shes a smart girl and we are best firends and love eachother.

But then she went to a party. we are sophmores and she gave 3 other incoming freshman guys a bj at one time. I was really mad at her for being so stupid but stuck by her because she did say that she knew she shouldnt have done it.

now im wondering if i should stick by her and try to help her which never really seems to work or to separate myself from that behavoir because her reputation is ruined from all that she has done, and being with her is starting to damage my reputation too. and i dnt ever want to be in a situatuion where she is at party being an idiot and she gets drunk and there goes my ride home or i have to watch over her like a baby. But then again, she was my best friend and i dnt want to just ditch her. i have no idea what to do? stay or go?

reputations aren't really that important. they seem like they are but they're really not. so don't think so mcuh about that.

my advice to you is to stay friends with her but from a distance. don't get yourself too attached with her because her behavior is very reckless and could acutally harm her and if youre too close, it can harm you too. distance the friendship. that doesn't mean stop being friends with her entirely. you can still help her out and stick by her every once in a while but only as a good friend.

if you've talked about this with her before then there's really nothing more you can do. you've voiced your opinon and given your advice, it's time for her to either listen and take it or continue what she's doing.

i've been in this situation before in freshman year. and i myself know how far i'll be going with a guy but this friend i had had way different views on things than me. she was an amazing friend but she did really stupid stuff and it really hurt our friendship. there's a line that you set for yourself. everyone has it. and if you keep hanging out with her, she can eventually influence you to push your own line further back more and more. and like i said, that could eventually do you harm. so stay smart.

Rating: 5

thank you, your completely right. its not really like i have to completely ditch her but remaining as close as we are can get me in trouble. you helped tons

bio

this site has been down for a while but i'm starting it up again. i've been really busy with school work and other activities but now you can ask me questions again.

anyways about myself, i've gone through alot in my life and it's all made me stronger so i can relate to nearly any situation. i really love people. when i get older i do plan on doing something in this sort of field, maybe psychiatry. i'm currently a junior in highschool and i devote all of my time to either my friends, theatre, or school. yeah i'm sort of a nerd. if i can't get on here to reply to your questions and its urgent then you can always feel free to IM me on AIM and i'll try to help you on there. i'm basically always on.