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Q: ok here is the thing.. me i'm 15/f he is 17/m me && him use to be really close but then when he got in with the "cool" kids it all changed.. he started doing all of these drugs... and we barely ever talk anymore.. if we do its fightin && yelling no just talkin.. he is drinking, smoking, doing weed, meth && sooo much more... && i dont even know the half of it.. but still it kills me just watching him do that to himself.. and i try to tell him that it hurts me probably more than it hurts him.. he just keeps doing them.. he practically tries a new drug every weekend at parties with his friends.. && it hurts so bad hearing about it.. && i dont even hear it from him i hear it from his friends...
but anyone knwo where im coming from? or what should i do? im soo confused... i know its not my life but still i care for him WAY to much =[
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I'll be honest on this and tell you that I understand a little bit of what you're going through. You probably feel a little betrayed and extremely hurt ever since your brother changed.
The truth is that you won't ever be able to talk him into not doing drugs and changing back into who he used to be. It's not because he hates you now or doesn't care about you, he's being selfish and can only think about himself and his personal fun. If he's going to change at all, that is all in his power, and you have to absolutely remember that. Don't talk to him about it, don't try to change things or he will just completely shut out.
As for coping with this, the only way you can is to talk to someone if you need to or don't talk about it at all so that you can try minimizing the matter in your mind. The more you talk about it, the angrier you'll probably become with him. So my suggestion would be that everytime you feel angry or you begin thinking about your brother, get up and turn the TV on or do something that will keep you busy and keep your mind off of it. When you actually face him in person, don't talk about any of his drug problems and when a fight starts to get started, leave the room or go somewhere else where you can calm down and stay out of the arguement.
As for what his friends are telling you, let them know that you don't want to know what he's doing anymore when it comes to drugs and whatever else bothers you. You honestly have to just deal with it in your own way possible. I know it hurts watching a close sibling start going down a path that's ruining their life, but the only way to turn back is if they make that decision and they want to go back up that path.
-TheTeenGirl
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thanks a lot... you made me realize that i should just start lettin go of my brother && just stop listening to his friends.. =] thanks
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bio
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My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.
I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.
Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.
About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 17 Member Since: January 18, 2005 Answers: 1364 Last Update: December 8, 2007 Visitors: 82423
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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