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Hey everyone! My name is Kristen, I'm 20 and I'm a college junior studying pharmacy. I've been blessed with a really good life, and part of the reason for that is because I've learned to see GOOD in everything that happens to me. I love giving advice, and I've been told that I do a good job at it, but I'll let you decide! Feel free to ask me anything... don't be shy, that's why I'm here. I've been through a lot... moving from one country to another, leaving and finding new friends, break ups, boys, middle school, high school, college, self esteem issues... pretty much most things that people need help with.
I usually spend a good amount of time answering your questions, so I would really appreciate it if you leave me an honest rating along with some feedback (good or bad!) It really does help me improve my advice... and in the end, that's good for YOU! Talk to ya soon! :)
advice
i'm fifteen yrs old. i'll be sixteen in 3 months. which isn't very far away. in november i met a guy and i really liked him. we talked for a whole day and then he asked me out. I said yes and i fell wayy hard. we had a relationship like no other. we deffently fell in love. he was 17. his birthday is in like two weeks. when we broke up i made an agreement with myself to get him back because i really did love him.. we were apart for a month and he dated people and so did i but we always found ourselves making out and holding hands every chance we got and talking on the phone everynight and still saying i love you. then he went out with my best friend and this completely killed me. one week later they broke up because she cheated on him and then he asked me back out. i didn't even hisitate to say yes. i had the love of my life back. this time we've been together for 4 months. it's been nothing short of amazing. we've seriously been through everything and we have an undying love for each other. last week my mom told me that she didn't want us dating any more being she thinks he's too old and she thinks he s a loser because he droped outa school. ive tried talking to her about this before and it worked. but she said this time her mind is final. this guy is really my everything but his friends don't like me. they think i cheat on him and stuff and are constinaly telling him he can do better. well we've been trying so hard to stay together and now he's ready to just give up. i think he got this idea from his friends but even tough we broke up last night.. nothing's changed.. i think he's coming over tomorrow to talk to me about it and i even wrote him a long email... if i dont get him back i swear i'll die. any advice for me...
i'm not goin gto move on so don't bother telling me that...
any questions about anything just ask.
hey! alright well i'm sorry all of this happened... it's a bit of a tough situation. obviously you must really like the guy if you forgave him for dating your best friend! on the other hand, im not sure why your best friend did such a thing to begin with?
anyway, there are two things you need to do to try and make the relationship work. as far as him and his friends go... you are absolutely right, he is starting to give up because his friends keep telling him bad things about you and the relationship. even though he might ignore their comments, some of them over time will get to him if they haven't already. let's face it... our friends have a big influence on our lives. he obviously isn't controlled by his friends, which is a good thing, but they do influence him a little bit which is normal. to solve that problem, talk to him about his friends. ask him what they say about you and why they say those things. don't yell or bad mouth them... they are his friends, and he will be upset if you do. talk about the whole situation, and be patient. tell him that you want to get to know them better so that they can like you and you can like them too. because friends have a big influence on people, once they like you, they will say good things about you to him and encourage the relationship, which will in turn encourage him to keep trying to make it work. you don't have to kiss their a**, but you should be nice to them and get to know them. they might try to resist at first, but eventually they should start to like you!
second problem is your mom. she thinks he is too old, even though he is only a year older than you? unless you mean that he is turning 18 in 2 weeks... which would mean he is 2 years older. but that's not a big deal either! i think she is just saying that to find more excuses to get you guys to break up. in reality, i think the reason she is upset about it is because he dropped out of high school. that is not something that parents see as a good thing... ever, so i can see why she is being this way about the whole situation. i think you should sit down and talk to her again. explain to her that it's not like you are getting married to this guy, so it doesn't really matter if he is a drop out. tell her that he won't influence you in any negative ways, and if anything, you might even be able to influence him to change and finish up school and maybe even go on to college. explain to her that he is a good person with good intentions, and that he cares about you and you care for him. tell her to put herself in your shoes and imagine if someone had told her who to date and not to date when she was young. reassure her that you are old and responsible enough to decide who to date, and that if you feel like the relationship is not right at any point, you can deal with the break up. it's hard enough dealing with a relationship to begin with, but having a parent stand in the way makes it nearly impossible. tell your mom you want her to get to know him better, and invite him over for dinner with the family so she can see he is a good guy!
let me know if you need more help, and i hope all of this helps. it might not all work out over night, but i think if you try to be on better terms with his friends and get him on better terms with your mom, things should go smoothly from there! :) good luck!
(Rating: 5) thankx