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Q: My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months. And while I deeply care about him, that same spark isn't there that there was up until about a month ago. I make excuses so I don't have to go see him when I don't feel like it, and a lot of the time, I don't feel like it.
He started to get on my nerves from not knowing when to stop playing around and being too shy to ever say anything when I'm upset or suprise me with something or be sweet more than on the very rare occasions.
I think its time to end the relationship as it stands now. I still really DO want to remain friends with him though, and I know that usually never happens after a breakup. Especially when the guy is so attached, like it is here. He (although he has difficulty showing it in person, but over IMs and whatnot, it shows -- jeez, computers are taking over our lives and ability to speak, aren't they?) is a LOT more attached to me than I am to him.
How can I word what I want to say to let him down very gently and hopefully keep our friendship? Any other helpful things to add?
PS: School is out for the summer, if that may come into play.
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So your reason for ending this is because he's not being very romantic when it comes to special events.
I understand that you might be upset because of that, but five months isn't a long time for a relationship. When you first are with someone, you can't expect there to be sparks the whole time. When you hardly know each other and get together as boyfriend and girlfriend, it's hard to start getting romantic at first because it's scary. What I'm saying is that he's probably not comfortable with being sweet around you. But, if you know for sure that you want to end this, then that's alright too.
Basically, you should tell him in a way that makes you comfortable. Explain to him that you feel like the feelings aren't there anymore on your behalf. You don't want your friends around when you break-up with him. If you tell him in person, don't bring any friends and if he has friends with him, take him aside and let him know that you need to talk to him. You want this done in private so that you won't humiliate him in front of people.
About being friends, don't expect it at all. It puts a lot of pressure on two people when they break-up and those two people need a lot of space from each other. If you stay friends with him right after you break-up with him, you'll make it harder for him to get over you. So don't push any farther with this guy about being friends, for now he needs to be left alone.
-TheTeenGirl
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While only about half was relavent to my situation, some of that is my fault for not being able to put all the details in the question. Good answer, thank you.
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bio
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My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.
I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.
Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.
About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 17 Member Since: January 18, 2005 Answers: 1364 Last Update: December 8, 2007 Visitors: 82360
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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