I am a 20 yr old guy, people call me logical and i look at myself the same way. I have been told i give good advice so i thought i would give it a try. I can give advice on pretty much anything, frienship, dating, emotional problems, health problems, pretty much anything. i dont however take any interest in answering questions like what should i buy a green shirt or a blue shirt. serious problems only. I like to help people, its a good feeling when someone likes what you have told them. and that is why i do it.
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Member Since: February 11, 2006
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Last Update: July 16, 2006
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AskAndy
sizzlinmandolin
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Sorry, I wasn't exactly sure what category to put this under, it's kind of a mixture of love relationships & family ones.
(17/f) So anyways, I don't have a good relationship with my family. It's a tense, hostile situation, especially between my mom and I. I know this is characteristic of my age range, but the feeling of my family is that she has some mental issues that she needs to take care of, and that she's an extremely unreasonable person to work with. I'm graduating a year early and I'll be going to college in the fall. My mom doesn't know this yet, she's strongly opposed to me going until Spring which is out of the question, and the rest of my family agrees. I can't live in my household for another year after this. And this is where part of the problem comes in.
I've already talked to some people about the problems I've had with her, especially my boyfriend. He's very supportive, and I love him and trust him more than anyone. He's encouraged me to go and talk to my school's principal and director of pupil services to get some help with this, and it really has helped. But there have been some (note some, they're not frequent) abuse issues with my mom. I'm kind of reluctant to tell my boyfriend about those, because they're not huge and they're not frequent, and I don't want to have him worry too much. When these episodes occur they're upsetting, and my boyfriend has asked about the reasons for the upset, but I find that I haven't been able to tell him because I haven't found the words. Plus, I don't want any kid of authority to catch wind, because I still don't want a legal battle to ensue or to cause anything that will cut off ties with my family completely, especially since I'm leaving for college in six months.
So my questions are 1) How do I/should I tell my boyfriend about the abuse? 2)What should I do in regards to it?
Thanks, sorry it's so long. (link)
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you have 2 options if you tell him he will probably get upset and want to tell some authority or will want to stop it by confronting her. i would suggest you not tell him but i would suggest that you tell your mother that if she abuses you that you wont stand for it becuase if she loves you at all she wouldnt abuse you. After you deal with your mom and its resolved then tell your bf, but listen you need to stop it yourself and if she doesnt listen then tell him and get him involved to give you support. BUT if this abuse is very bad you need to go to the authorities and she needs to be corrected for her actions. hope this helps
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