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October 15, 2005Answers:
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I wrote before about how my mom was sick and that i wasnt sure what was wrong with my mom( http://advicenators.com/qview.php?q=383493 ) Anyways, Now I do. I'm not realy in the mood to write this all out but here this will help alot. Today i decided to start up writing a journal again but this time on the computer since I can type realy fast just save it to a founder with that days date. Well anyways heres waht i wrote today (take in mind taht I started the journal thing today and the ---- means informatino i cant give out lol...
10-22-05- Saturday
Dear Journal,
I decided to start to write a journal. I used to when I was 9 or 10 or something like that but I never found it as a necessary as a teenager. Since I haven’t written in so long I guess I should start with the basics. I am 13 years old.I live at --------,Ohio. My home phone number is now ------. I’ve been living in -------- for about 10 years. I have a dog named Scotch and a Cat Named Magic. Ashley (my twin) is of course 13. Katie is 12 and Jenny is 23. Jenny is married to Brad and they have two Children; Alec who is 5 and Addison who is 3. I am in the 8th grade also and I go to East Palestine Middle School. My favorite color is pink. I am a East Palestine 8th grade Cheerleader. I was one last year too. I have a awesome boyfriend who I am sure that I am in love with. His name is Kevin Scott Ludwig. He’s 15 ½. He so handsome. He has blue eyes that I get lost in and has a laugh that can make anyone’s day. I have brown eyes and brown hair. My fears are really hard to explain so its easier to say that my fear that always haunts me has pretty much became reality.
My mom went to the doctors Last weekend for a yearly checkup, no big deal right? Well they drew blood work and such and she’s been waiting for results. Always, Thursday Addison and my mom went to school with me till after 4th period cause it was bring family to school day okay? Well when she got home she got a message from our doctor saying that they got the results from the blood work and to come in right away. So she called my dad and told him and he came home and them and Addison went to the doctors. Well, It turns out my mom has a disease. This is my worst fear / nightmare. Though I’m not really sure what the name of it is but its bad. Her bloods thick and it doesn’t have much oxygen and tons of carbon. She has to stop smoking. Also she is supposed to donate a quart (yes a whole quart) of blood every 4 months. She can have a heart attack and die any second. Its really scary and I cry if I think too much about it but the girls (my two sisters) are kind of acting like its nothing. Something tells me between the next couple months if it stays the same or gets worse my mom will go into a mild depression (that’s my opinion) just because she is already not doing well. She hasn’t been sleeping either. Like when my mom gets mad at my dad and goes to bed angry she will yell like once in her sleep at him ( its kind of funny). Anyways, she hasn’t been sleeping and when she is crying in her sleep and yelling and talking and a lot of other things. She is talking likes she going to die. She is scared for her life and she is terrified she is going to die. I don’t know what to do. I am lost confused and just out of it at some points.
Well I find myself that I cant write anymore.. I’m talking to my boyfriend and I really don’t want to cry right now and I feel the tears coming so I’ll leave it for today…
--Love--
Meg
Dear Journal,
Hey its me again! Well I wanted to fill you in on well more stuff. My dad was talking to my sisters and I about my mom. He was telling us some strange ways she’s been acting and how its extremely hard for her to give up smoking and she has to now because she will die if she doesn’t. Anyways, besides that miserable and unwanted news I found out some new stuff. Not only does my mom has a disease but something major is causing the disease . All the symptoms are saying it’s a brain aneurysm which as you know is not good at all. This is why my mom is scared for her life. She getting a appointment and will go to the hospital probably sometime next week to get a cat scan to see if that’s what it is. Wow you wouldn’t think this could get any worse huh? Between the disease and the brain aneurysm and the fact that my mom is just going wacky right now right? Well wrong. My dad last year went to the doctors and they said he might have a heart problem. So my dad was horrified and so was my mother. They had to take him to a heart specialist and the heart specialist said there was nothing wrong. Well wrong again! Due to what is going on with my mom and such my mom talked my dad into scheduling a appointment with the doctor to have a full physical. Well again they think something is wrong with his heart. He’s nervous but he’s not really one of those touchy feely guys . I’m not sure what to do. I cant control anything anymore I understand that I have to learn to treat both my mother and my father better because if something does happen .. I couldn’t survive knowing I treated them like crap. I don’t really know what to do right now. I really like the idea of writing in here though.. It helps me cop with what’s going on. Well I better go I have decided that I’m going to put today’s entry’s on this awesome website called advisonators.com so that I can have people help me out or help me cope with this really harsh situation.
-Sincerely-
Megan
Some basic Information-
My mom is 42 shes 110 pounds in great health and looks like shes atleast in her early 30's.
My dad is 41 hes not fat but not skinny. Hes all My dad is also in good health.
Just respond I'm not totaly sure what I'm asking for just give me words of encoaragement (sp?),knowledge, I dont care. Thanks you guys.
Wow Megan, that's horrific. Well...my best friend, her mom has a brain tumor, and she's had it for 7 years, and now she's i think 50 and weighs 108. She's real boney and it isnt good. Her father on the other hand has a real big smoking problem,..he's got real black lungs and a heart condition i think. I think it's more of a problem to you then anyone else in your family because this is the time in your life you need your mom dearly. and your younger sister is too young to understand and your old sister has had more time with her that, you may not have. You deffinately need to keep a journal. Try and write in it everyday wrtie all of your feelings down. I told my best friend the same thing i'm going to tell you,...be brave. and think about this quote my communications teacher always uses "Courage isnt the absence of fear, but a need greater than fear." This is the time in your life were fear is present. You may be scared and you've got everything on the line and everything to lose, but believe me, your mom will keep fighting no matter what. i know she's going to try so hard, for you and all of your siblings. your father, he's got so much pressure on him, he doesnt know what to do with it all, as you may or may not know. he's scared just as you are, maybe even more. but he's trying to stay strong i just know it! whenever i was sick, i had to get this thing called a spinal tap. My blood was really screwed up, but now i'm so lively today. Stay strong but dont be afraid to cry, expecially in times like these. just dont moarn over it...it's going to pass, whether its good or bad...you can do this, i know you can.
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much! Your such a sweetheart!