Gender: Female
Location: UK
Occupation: Temp
Age: 26
Member Since: September 3, 2005
Answers: 222
Last Update: March 4, 2008
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I truely like this kid so much. I've known him for 4 years, and he knows I like him and such. Actually, last year in 7th grade, he asked me out. He was smiling although he said he was serious, but I said no because I figured that he was joking (he's that type of person). Than after he asked me out, he started doing weird stuff to me, and requesting I do things to him. For instance I would usually help him with his French homework, and he would ask that I sit on his lap. He would always hold my hand, try to kiss me, etc. Then he started to get worse, like ask me to have sex with him, flash him, go over to his house and in his room...
This year, he acts as none if it happened. He won't mention the slightest thing to me. That doesn't exactly bother me but it's weird. I still like him and it's not that he acknowlages me (because we're still best friends), but he doesn't like me this year like that.
I just wanted to know if anyone here thought that maybe he took advantage of me. Please help (easy 5's)
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Hi,
Assertiveness is a way of expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct, honest, and appropriate way. An assertive person effectively influences, listens, and negotiates so that others choose to cooperate willingly. It does not mean being aggressive, nor does it mean you will get your own way all the time. But it should help prevent you being burdened with other people's problems and responsibilities.
If you tend to panic, hide under your desk or fly off the handle at the first whiff of a problem.
Be clear about what you want to say: Make direct statements that take responsibility for what you say, i.e. use 'I' rather than 's/he' or 'everyone thinks.'
Get straight to the point: Don't allow yourself to get sidetracked by colleagues or trying to soften the blow.
Be prepared to compromise: Remember that other people have rights too don't become the office bully.
Use suitable facial expressions: Maintain good eye contact and keep your voice firm but pleasant. By keeping calm and attentive you will make the other person more ready to compromise.
Listen: Let people know you have heard what they said. This doesn't mean you have to agree with them.
Ask for time to think, if necessary: There is nothing wrong with admitting that you need time to make a decision.
Don't apologise unless there is a good reason to do so: Don't say 'sorry' merely because the other person is unlikely to be pleased with what you are saying. It is better to give reasons rather than excuses for what you want to do.
Learn to say no to unreasonable requests: Use the word "no" and offer an explanation if you choose to. Do not apologize and do not make up excuses. Paraphrase the other person's point of view. This will let he/she know that you hear and understand the request.
Often you can get assertiveness training within the workplace or at a local evening class. Ask your boss or contact your local careers centre for more information.
Goodluck
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Rating: 5
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I'll deffineantly try that, thanks!!!
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