about

Please note that at this time, I am not accepting questoins. I am having serious doubts about the amount of time and patience that this site requires of me, as well as how I fit into its structure. Becuase of that, I will not be checking advicenators for a while, and thus WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. Here's my intact profile, however, in case I come back.



Welcome to my humble abode... or something.

My name is Brie, but you can just call me Wily (no, that's not my real last name). I'm an eighteen year old from rural Mid-Michigan (think Saginaw or Bay City, only surrounded by miles and miles of trees, corn, and sugar beets).

I'm an honor student, sort of. Not to brag, but I was Salutatorian of my high school class. I specialize in English, educational topics, and social studies, but I'm good with basic sciences and drama too.

I'm a big geek; I like to write and play RPGs, and my favorite video games ever are the Pokemon series. I'm actually a relatively well-known Pokemon master (I've moderated the forums of two bigger Pokemon fansites, and have been an on and off admin at one), and at the two sites where I became relatively popular I aquired the reputation of "The Pokemon Professor." However, that doesn't do me much good here, becuase who is going to ask about Pokemon on an advice site?

I don't have much experience with relationships but I have a natural nack for giving advice about them. I also don't know anything firsthand about things that we do not mention in polite company, but I know a lot about the science and psychology of them, so I'd be glad to answer safety-based questions--just don't ask me about technique, becuase I know nothing. I'll try to answer anything you throw at me, and many things that you don't, though, so feel free to try me.

Be warned though, I'm not afraid to tell it like it is. There are stupid questions, and if yours is one I will respectfully tell you so, and attempt to give you the information you need anyway. If you need to buck up and accept what's happening, I will say so. However, in this column I try to maintain a standard of respect, kindness, and helpfulness; you will not be flamed here. Unless you're a babyeater or something.

So, drop me a line, and I'll do what I can. Live long and prosper!



Requirements

Now, I know this is gonna kinda look stupid, what with this being an advice site at all, but I have a few simple requests for you.



If you do not follow these guidelines, I may not answer your quesiton. I will not say that I won't, because with some questions you don't need to say some of these things, and with some of these guidelines, you can't do anything until I've answered. But please make my life easier. That's what I'm trying to do for yours.

advice

Fellow atheists: I have a friend who is a militant Christian, meaning, she thinks it's her job to convert everyone who isn't Christian into one, including me. She knows I'm atheist, but it really bothers me when she tells me that I'm going to hell for not believing in Christian ways. I've told her many times that I don't believe in a god, afterlife, or book of worship. Yet, she still has the nerve to constantly bring up "god" and how I NEED to be a Christian. Other than that, she's cool. Are there any ideas on how to get through to her that I really don't want her help when it comes to religion? I'm going to snap if she comments to me one more time.

Please bear with me; I'm a bit longer and more rambling than usual, and some of my opinions require a lot of points to come together. I may seem to be advocating her side at a few points, but that's not my intentions--I'm merely asking you to consider hers before you act, and ensure that you're not treating mistakes and slips as deliberate acts.

On to the advice.

I sort of know where you're coming from. I'm sort of a Christian, and my atheist friends were very relentless in trying to "convert me" to atheism or even "anything but Christianity." I didn't tell people they were going to hell, either.

I've also had Christian friends try to press their beliefs on me, although the fact that I believed in Jesus sort of got them off my backs.

You need to be absolutely sure that she understands how you feel. Make sure to tell her that her constant conversion attempts are hurtful, annoying, and frustrating to you. Tell her that you have no intention of ever converting, and that her behavior is driving you even further away from Christianity than you already were. Tell her that you value her friendship but you will not continue to tolerate harassment, and that if she cannot stop trying to convert you, you can no longer be her friend.

What ever you do, please, please, PLEASE do not try to insist that atheism is better, or convert her. You cannot defeat fire with fire int his case. When you try to tell anyone that the fundamental facts of their religious beliefs are wrong (i.e., trying to tell a Christian that there is no God, or an Atheist that there IS a God and they'll go to hell if they don't worship him), the person being told that automatically goes into a sort of "persecution" mode. I know this, I've seen it in myself and my Christian, Atheist, and Agnostic friends... And you need only look to history to see just how nasty "convert or ELSE" attitudes can make relationships and the world.

After you tell her how she's hurting you, avoid the topic of religion. If you talk about it after that, it'll seem like you're sort of flaunting it in her face. Also, she'll be less likely to lapse if you avoid the topic.

If she continues to preach, break off the friendship. She needs to learn that confrontationalist attitudes in religion do not work, and maybe, if everyone did this to badgering or overly pushy Christians, those sects would realize that telling people they are going to go to hell does not work. That sort of attitude is bad for everyone, Christian or otherwise.

If she stops pestering you, continue as normal. Try not to treat her badly just becuase she used to be annoying, should she straighten up. Some friends will drive you insane, and then stop bugging you... and it really hurts them if you bring up old hurts and old fights.

And one last (rather long) pointer--please don't mistake her reveling in her faith for tryin to push it on you. Obviously this is a touchy area... But she may continue to talk about God without actively preaching to you. (i.e. "I took a retreat with my church group, and I feel so much closer to God." versus "You need to go on a retreat so you can find God!")

If this false relapse makes you uncomfortable, please tell her. Don't simply assume that she's preaching, becuase she may not mean to. When you have a strong faith in anything, Christianity, Atheism, whatever, you have these moments where everything seems to make sense. And most people are compelled to share these moments with their friends--even if their friends have different faiths. The important thing is communication--if you're okay with this, then tell her, and if you're not, then tell her that you're not. If she doesn't listen to you... give her at least one second chance, and then kick her to the curb.

I hope I helped, and I hope this experience hasn't damaged your opinion of other Christians.

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(Rating: 5) I found yours most helpful of all :) thanks!
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