Gender:
FemaleMember Since:
May 30, 2005Answers:
248Last Update:
October 26, 2010Visitors:
23266Favorite Columnists
Er_Bear19
Mackenzie
Flygurl557
Xo_Ashie_oX
LoveableHottBaby
lost_surfer
about
advice
well about 2 wks ago, i started dating a guy who is 19, ( im 16)lets call him... jeff. anyway, hes very sweet, and would give me the world if i wanted it. you could basically say hes my "prince charming" that i always dreamed of, well until a couple days ago. i met this guy from my friend...lets call him... andrew. ok so andrew, is also very sweet, and i've been talking to him on the phone lately, i refuse to see him, because i kind of do have feels for him, but im not sure if i want things to happen. and my friend told me that andrew likes me too. sooo.... the only reason im hesitating, is i really do like, jeff. but jeff gets pretty annoying at times, and hes... im not sure... he tends to make things, all about himself. and andrew wants to know what i think, everything. the weird thing is, i can talk to andrew about things i dont talk to my bf, jeff about. im not sure if i should move on, and go with andrew, or stay with jeff. another thing is, jeff's friend, is sick... (cancer)and hes really nice *(staying a friend, only think of him as that)* but, i know if i break things off with jeff, i'll regret it because of his friend, and i know i'll lose his friend if i do break things off. sooo what should i do?
Well this is a tough situation, but I think you should go with your heart. Get together with Andrew. If you have feelings for him and you feel like you can be more honest with him then you can with your own boyfriend, Jeff, then what are you waiting for? You may be afraid that breaking up with Jeff might screw things up with your friendship between you and his friend, but it shouldn't. If you break up with Jeff, make it clear to him that he hasn't done anything wrong to you, it's just that you don't feel that the relationship is going anywhere and that it just doesn't seem to be working. Make the break up sincere and I suggest waiting a few days before the break up and start cutting down on things. Stop talking to him as much, don't be as talkative, seem distant,... give him some clues so when the break up occurs he isn't so shocked by it. Then give him some time after the break up. Call him up after a week or so and casually ask how his friend is doing. Just because he is your ex boyfriend's friend doesn't mean you have to cut him out of your life and he can't be your friend anymore. You and his friend are still friends, and you have every right to be there for his friend through his sickness. And if you ex boyfriend has a problem with this than you tell him he is being selfish and only thinking of himself, because you helping his friend and being there for his friend has nothing to do with him. His friend needs you guys to help him through his sickness. And I'm pretty sure your ex will understand that. But if you decide to end it with your current bf and get with Andrew never, EVER mention that there is another guy you are wanting to get with. This will only make Jeff mad and he will feel upset by the whole ordeal and then this could cause problems with you staying friends with his friend. I hope my advice helps. Good luck! ~Sherah
(Rating: 5) thanks... i'm just not sure what to do... jeff's x/gf IMd me today and told me that hes "cheating" on me, asking her to have sex with her and stuff... im not sure what to believe tho... cus she told me she abousotly hated jeff... soo im not sure if she's just trying to break our relationship up... or if shes telling me the truth, and i dont wanna bring it up to jeff, because... i told him i wasnt going to talk to his ex ( he told me if she IMd me to block her and i said ok) so that right there, just makes me wonder too.