about

Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)

advice

Hey,
My friend *Chrissy* and has been lying to her parents about her boyfriend *Jack*. See Chrissy is 12 and gonna be 13 in December. So when i was at Chrissy's house she told her cousin that she had a boyfriend and they were making out. Chrissy trusted her cousin so she didnt feel like her cousin was gonna tell. Of course her cousin told her parents and her parents had a fit, not because she was seeing someone, but because she's been making out with Jack. So they told her to stop kissing or she cant go out with Jack. I just recently talked to Chrissy and she said that she's gonna complain to her shrink about it cause kissing is a normal thing in life, it's just her parents think she's too young to date. She's fed up on being called little and young so she has been lying to her parents and making out with Jack all she wants. Should i stop Chrissy? or should i encourage Chrissy to tell her shrink to tell her parents that she needs to learn her own lessons in life? But the hard part is Chrissy wont listen if people tell her no in this situation cause she REALLY loves Jack- nothing could keep them apart. What should i do for Chrissy?! help!!

*Jill*

You have a right to be worried about your friend. I think you should stop her. Twelve is way too young to start kissing, ESPECIALLY making out. In most situations, making out leads to other things, like sex. Tell her that her parents aren't trying to pick on her because of her age; they're trying to help her and prevent her from making wrong choices and doing something that she'll regret. Tell her that she shouldn't lie to her parents because they'll most likely find out about what she's doing anyway, then they'll (most likely) MAKE SURE that she won't see Jack.

You can tell her that it would be better if her and Jack didn't make out because if her parents find out, the relationship is OVER.

EVERYONE goes through the whole "I hate being called little!" stage. It's a part of life. Let her know this.

If she complains to her shrink, he/she will most likely say the same thing I just did. But, it might be good if she talks to her shrink. It might make her come to her senses.

Wait a minute... she says she wants to learn her own lessons in life? If she says this, it means that she knows that what she's doing is wrong. Tell her that, too. Ask her why she would make out with him behind her parent's back if she knew it was wrong. Ask her if she knew that she would be risking the whole relationship when she lies and does those things behind her parents' backs.

And she LOVES him? Nah. I think she likes him a lot, but I don't think she loves him. Love is a strong word, too strong to be felt or said by a preteen/young teen. If she says she loves him, I don't think it's true love. She's only 12.

I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥ Manders

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