I always give honest answers and try my best to help. You are welcome to ask me any questions that you have. I never criticize people and I always try to look at things from other people's point of view before I answer a question.
Gender: Female
Age: 15
Member Since: February 15, 2005
Answers: 15
Last Update: June 25, 2006
Visitors: 3363
Main Categories:
Friendship
Work/School Relationships
Love Life
View All
Favorite Columnists
karenR
Mandee
HyperactiveMiss
|
| |
|
i go to this really preppy biotchy school in dc (all girls, private, kiss kiss) but anyway, i used ta be a really sweet person and like really focused and dedicated in life, but my school has really changed me...i find that i am really judgemental of people in a bad way...and i spend way too much time deciding what to wear and i do alot of trashy stuff with guys...what should i do? (link)
|
Dear,
It’s nice that you realize you have changed. Now one of the reasons why you changed might be that you seek the approval of the people around you and you feel the need to fit in. Or it might be that your friends influence you and as Oscar Wild said “There’s no such thing as good influence”. We are usually influenced by significant others which means that we are influenced by people like our parents, friends, movie stars and so on, people we respect (it’s a sociological fact, I am not just making it up).
So now if you want to be more like your old self, you should start being yourself and believe me I know how hard it can be sometimes. Do not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in and speak your mind. If your friends are doing something you think is wrong then tell them and most of all do not do it just because they are doing it. Be who you want to be not who your classmates think you should be. It’s nice that you want to be a better person now you just have to get the courage to change.
Also about the judgmental part, try putting yourself in other people’s place before you judge them and try to find out the reasons behind their actions.
Changing takes time but that’s until it becomes a habit. So one day just say to yourself that you are going to be nice to people from that point on, so next time you want to make a remark that would hurt someone think how you would feel if you were in their shoes. Start being sympathetic, start making compliments and be encouraging even if you don’t feel like it and at first it will feel unnatural but after time it will become a part of you. There’s not a secret to changing, you’ve got to make an effort at first.
I hope that helps more!
|
|
Rating: 4
| |
Thank you for that condescending lecture. And thank you for reitterating my point: I do want to go back to being myself. Unfortunately, you have not supplied the requested HOW of the matter. Better luck next time, deeeaarrrr.
|
|