about

Please note that at this time, I am not accepting questoins. I am having serious doubts about the amount of time and patience that this site requires of me, as well as how I fit into its structure. Becuase of that, I will not be checking advicenators for a while, and thus WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. Here's my intact profile, however, in case I come back.



Welcome to my humble abode... or something.

My name is Brie, but you can just call me Wily (no, that's not my real last name). I'm an eighteen year old from rural Mid-Michigan (think Saginaw or Bay City, only surrounded by miles and miles of trees, corn, and sugar beets).

I'm an honor student, sort of. Not to brag, but I was Salutatorian of my high school class. I specialize in English, educational topics, and social studies, but I'm good with basic sciences and drama too.

I'm a big geek; I like to write and play RPGs, and my favorite video games ever are the Pokemon series. I'm actually a relatively well-known Pokemon master (I've moderated the forums of two bigger Pokemon fansites, and have been an on and off admin at one), and at the two sites where I became relatively popular I aquired the reputation of "The Pokemon Professor." However, that doesn't do me much good here, becuase who is going to ask about Pokemon on an advice site?

I don't have much experience with relationships but I have a natural nack for giving advice about them. I also don't know anything firsthand about things that we do not mention in polite company, but I know a lot about the science and psychology of them, so I'd be glad to answer safety-based questions--just don't ask me about technique, becuase I know nothing. I'll try to answer anything you throw at me, and many things that you don't, though, so feel free to try me.

Be warned though, I'm not afraid to tell it like it is. There are stupid questions, and if yours is one I will respectfully tell you so, and attempt to give you the information you need anyway. If you need to buck up and accept what's happening, I will say so. However, in this column I try to maintain a standard of respect, kindness, and helpfulness; you will not be flamed here. Unless you're a babyeater or something.

So, drop me a line, and I'll do what I can. Live long and prosper!



Requirements

Now, I know this is gonna kinda look stupid, what with this being an advice site at all, but I have a few simple requests for you.



If you do not follow these guidelines, I may not answer your quesiton. I will not say that I won't, because with some questions you don't need to say some of these things, and with some of these guidelines, you can't do anything until I've answered. But please make my life easier. That's what I'm trying to do for yours.

advice

Hi everyone, I'm 14/f and I was j/w if it would be bad if I eventually went out with a 19 year old guy. I'm going to be 15 in May. I've been talking to this guy for a year now. He seems really really sweet, but we haven't met yet. I just feel like I'm starting to like him now. We were going to go see a movie one time, but we didn't end up going because it was really late. I decided not to go. He always used to say I'm too young and everything, so he was afraid to meet me, but then all of a sudden that one time he was going to go somewhere with me. He doesn't seem to care about my age all that much now. I'm not sure if he likes me or not, but I'm just saying if we met and everything, would it be wrong for me to be going out with a 19 year old? In my opinion, it's not that bad. I know we could both get in trouble, but he's really sweet. I've talked to a lot of people that I don't know on the internet, and he doesn't seem like one of those guys that only cares about sex. He never tries to talk about it with me like other gross guys do. I was also wondering how I could maybe hint to him when I'm talking to him on the internet again that I like him. I'll probably be talking to him tomorrow night. If we ever met also, what are some suggestions as to where we could meet and hang out since it'll be the first time. If anyone can, please answer! I just want a few suggestions. I'm soo very sorry that this question is so long. And I also know that you'll probably tell me it's a big age difference, but age shouldn't matter if you really like someone right? You could always keep the relationship a secret, and not do anything illegal with that person until your old enough and you know you won't get in trouble. If your nice when you answer, and you give good advice I'll rate you a 5!!!! Thank you so much again, and sorry about the length. :-)

Well, I personally think you shouldn't date him. Four years isn't a big age difference when you're adult, but when you're a teenager it can mean a lot. I know that you say that age doesn't matter, and when you're older it really doesn't, but you're not older, you're fourteen. You may not think so, but you're still maturing mentally and physically at a rate substantially higher than that of an adult, and he is too, but he's got a four year advantage on you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't date him eventually, just not now--if you really care about him, wait until you can devote more of yourself to the relationship and understand what's going on better. Wait until you're sixteen or so, at the very least.

I mean, he's what, in college, graduated, or dropped out, or at the very most a senior, and you must be in eighth ot ninth grade. You may like him now, but the relationship will be weird; you and he will probably have different priorities becusae you're at different stages in your life.

That doesn't mean that you can't be friends though. In fact, I would encourage you to stay friends with him. It's always nice to have people of different age groups and stuff to talk to; I don't know what I'd do without all of my older friends I met online. The difference in perspective is always nice.

If you do choose to meet him, though, it is IMPERITIVE that you take your parents, or some other trusted adult. Don't tell him where you live, though, and meet him in a public place with the adult. And tell him in advance that you aren't going to have sex with him, no matter what, and you're bringing and adult, just to be clear. If you do that, meeting him should be pretty safe. Watch his reaction to being told there'll be an adult too; if it seems weird, he might be hiding something.

And most importantly, be guarded, but hopeful. Don't convince yourself that he's a crazyt stalker, or you'll alienate him, but don't go in thinking that everything is perfect and safe either. Most people are good, honest people, but the liars always seem most honest of all, which is why you have to be guarded with everyone, especially people that you don't know and trust. Boys you meet online are no exception, no matter how much you like them.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you
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