Miss_Lily's advice column

askMiss_Lily

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: OK let me start from the beginining:
I was set up with this guy by my best friend. He is so cute and nice and I was starting to really get into him, but then he got too into me (i.e. he wrote all about me on his xanga and profile and invited me to prom on our 2nd date and he called like once if not twice a day at least.) So i had a talk with him telling him that I felt we were moving extremley fast and there was no reason for that so he took it so well and totally agreed, he even said "yeah I agree, I thought I might have been coming on very strongly." So everything was good and he laid off just a little bit. we hung out again not last saturday, but the saturday before and everything was fine but he hasnt called me since. When I go online and he's online, he doesn't IM me. I texted him yesterday and he didnt text me back (he is always good with returning my texts within like an hour.)
I really do like this guy, and I don't know what to do now. Can someone please give me advice (I don't want to sound desperate, so thats why I'm not calling him. I assume that if he's not calling me, there is a reason). Please help me. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'll rate high.

It sounds like this guy took what you said to him all wrong. He may have misinterpreted what you said to him, and what you wanted him to do. Many times with communicating, what you say is not always what they hear. The only way to fix this is to talk to him again. I always support talking to someone in person, but if you are better at expressing your emotions/feelings in writing, then try IM'ing him first. Don't beat around the bush, tell him straightforward how you are feeling and ask him what he thought you meant by saying that he was coming on too strongly. Guy's egos are very fragile, and it could be that he took your statement as a form of rejection, instead of you wanting to be comfortable with him first before spending too much time with him. Obviously he likes you a lot because he wrote about you in his journal. And how many guys do you know keeps a journal, let alone talks about the one they like in it? I still think that this can be repaired, but talk to him as soon as possible.

Rating: 5

thanks so much!

bio

I am a 22 year old mother of two that has had to grow up a lot faster then her years. I have been married for four years, but now am seperated from my significant other due to lack of his being able to handle a mature relationship. I can relate to almost anyone, and have been sought out, both online and off, for my advice. I answer all questions truthfully and honestly. If I don't know an answer to a question or I think other resources would be helpful, then I go into researh mode until I find an answer or the proper resource. I aspire to be a life coach in the future, because I like helping people make decisions to make their life better for their future. I am here not only to answer advice questions on this site, but to also chat with you if you feel like you need a more indepth one-on-one help.

Here are some of the guidelines I go by when answering advice questions:

I am always truthful in any advice I give.
I would never give anyone any advice that I would not follow myself.
I take into consideration your feelings when answering questions, but I will not sugar coat anything. If you are wrong, then you are wrong and I will tell you so.
If I cannot answer a question to the best of my ability, then I will point you to someone who can, or I will research my butt off until I find a helpful solution for you.