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nanaweresquirrelMember Since:
March 20, 2005Answers:
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about

Welcome to my humble abode... or something.
My name is Brie, but you can just call me Wily (no, that's not my real last name). I'm an eighteen year old from rural Mid-Michigan (think Saginaw or Bay City, only surrounded by miles and miles of trees, corn, and sugar beets).
I'm an honor student, sort of. Not to brag, but I was Salutatorian of my high school class. I specialize in English, educational topics, and social studies, but I'm good with basic sciences and drama too.
I'm a big geek; I like to write and play RPGs, and my favorite video games ever are the Pokemon series. I'm actually a relatively well-known Pokemon master (I've moderated the forums of two bigger Pokemon fansites, and have been an on and off admin at one), and at the two sites where I became relatively popular I aquired the reputation of "The Pokemon Professor." However, that doesn't do me much good here, becuase who is going to ask about Pokemon on an advice site?
I don't have much experience with relationships but I have a natural nack for giving advice about them. I also don't know anything firsthand about things that we do not mention in polite company, but I know a lot about the science and psychology of them, so I'd be glad to answer safety-based questions--just don't ask me about technique, becuase I know nothing. I'll try to answer anything you throw at me, and many things that you don't, though, so feel free to try me.
Be warned though, I'm not afraid to tell it like it is. There are stupid questions, and if yours is one I will respectfully tell you so, and attempt to give you the information you need anyway. If you need to buck up and accept what's happening, I will say so. However, in this column I try to maintain a standard of respect, kindness, and helpfulness; you will not be flamed here. Unless you're a babyeater or something.
So, drop me a line, and I'll do what I can. Live long and prosper!
Requirements
Now, I know this is gonna kinda look stupid, what with this being an advice site at all, but I have a few simple requests for you.
- Do a search to make sure no one has already asked that question, or if they have, that their case is significantly different than yours. It's very frustrating when you have to answer the same question over and over again.
- Give your age and sex. I know, anonymity is a big deal, but it really helps me if I have an idea how old you are and what sex you are. This is especially relevent for questions about sex, relationships, and makeup.
- Try to use proper spelling and paragraph breaks I usually scan questions before reading them, and it's helpful to me if things are spelled properly and broken up if they're kind of long. Don't worry, if I actually choose to answer the question I read it all the way though, but scanning helps me get into the right frame of mind.
- Please avoid internet acronyms. These drive me insane. Quoting is acceptable (if you quote someone who said them in your questoni, that's fine). Also, some are ok. I will tolerate bf, gf, bff, lol, etc.
- Don't rate badly just becuase I told you something you didn't want to hear. Now, I know, this is a bit of a shocker--me basically begging for ratings, right? But I'm not. Basically, don't come to me expecting me to affirm what you already plan on doing, and then rate me down when I say it's a bad idea. If you're already so sure that you're going to reject my advice, then JUST DON'T ASK. Save us both the trouble. For the record, I'm not asking you to rate high. If I give dangerous advice, give me a one, and if I give bad advice,i give me a two, but don't rate down good advice just because it's not what you wanted me to say. I do advice, not affirmations.
If you do not follow these guidelines, I may not answer your quesiton. I will not say that I won't, because with some questions you don't need to say some of these things, and with some of these guidelines, you can't do anything until I've answered. But please make my life easier. That's what I'm trying to do for yours.
advice
Ok... I was in a porno Video cause i needed money to go to a school trip in France..! But now All of the guys at my school .. Are porno freaks.!! and all they want is sex from me..! i dont want to give sex to them cause i only did that 1 time to get money for a trip and all the girls think im a slutty ass bitch.. and im not i was always the nice girl and now after one mistake i am called a slut! All the guys try to talk me into sex but i dont want to.. when i go on a date i always get forced to hhave sex. its really annoying and bad.. I hate it and i dont even think i want to go on this trip. after all thats happening.. One of my friends told me that She over heard her boyfriend and his friend saying that this kid that goes to our school may rape me.. Im scared and i dont want to start more drama .. Not only that but the tape was sold on the internet. Im doomed for life. What do i do to repair my reputaion and stay away from getting raped..
any advice is apperciated..
Ps- IM NOT A SLUT!
I lost my original response, so I'll post a point by point. But before I say anything, I want to tell you that no matter what kind of idiotic mistake you've made, you're still a worthy, decent person with the same rights as everyone else. However, you're going to have to work a littl harder to get the peace that you deserve.
Anyway, point-by-point...
-"was in a porno"
Well, think about the situation there. Were you underage when it happened, or 18? If you were underage, report the company to the authorities, even if you got in with a fake ID. They should be much more thorough in identifying and validating the ages of their talent. If you were over eighteen, I'm afraid there's little to nothing you can do.
Also, was it an "ameteur" film, or one through a professional studio? You're at a much higher risk of problems if it was an ameteur film, becuasce professional studios regularly test their talent for STDs. However, regardless of what kind of film it was, you need to go get tested. One test for most "normal" diseases should be acceptable, but it's very important to get two HIV tests--one now, and one in six months. The porn industry recently had an HIV scare, and most porn companies do not use condoms (no, I don't know from experience, I just have a lot of pervy male friends). It may be hard to find a clinic that will do this for you affordably and without your parents' permission, but they can be hard. Try searching for one on a search engine ("planned parenthood" is a good starting search term). Also, get a home pregnancy test, even if it's been a few months. Just to be safe. My contacts tell me they're very cheap.
-"i needed money"
If you still need money, try McDonald's or your local grocery store.
-"all they want is sex from me..! i don't want to give sex to them"
Then don't go out with them. If you do go out on dates, do only group dates, with another girl THAT YOU TRUST and another guy. Group dates and singles alike, don't go to movies or other dark places (except arcades that are filled with kids and parents. That should be okay), don't go to places that are kinda risque, and don't go to places where it'd be easy for the guy to get you alone. Try to keep to family-oriented or family-friendly dates, like dinner at "family" places and bowling. And whatever you do, DO NOT RIDE IN THE CAR WITH YOUR DATE. You say you've been forced into sex (i.e. rape), don't take that chance again. Also, don't do any more than kiss them, even after the first date. You need to send a mesage of repentant chastity, both for your safety and reputuation. Don't EVER be alone with the guy. Ever.
-"girls think i'm a [expletives deleted]"
Well, good for them. You need to not care wh at they think. Find a few whom you can trust--even if you have to befriend geeks and underclassmen--and stick with them. Forget everyone else. Your reputation is beyond salvation--everyone's high school reputation is only changeable by scandal--so focus on your happiness and safety.
-"when i go on a date I always get forced to hhave sex."
This, my dear, is called rape. The fellows who did this to you need to be reported to the authorities and prosecuted, if not for your sake, then for that of other girls in your situation. You must not let this happen again. Also, make sure to get tested for STDs and pregnancy after this. I think you have to wait until a missed period, or a period or whatever, for a pregnancy test to be accurate though... so wait at least that long since the last time you had sex.
-"i dont even think I want to go on this trip"
Why not? You got the money, why not use it. Just make sure that your roomate for the trip is someone you trust, and never leave her side unless you're both locked in your hotel room. Always stay aware and alert, and don't drink or do anything illegal or irresponsible on the trip. And always lock your hotel room door at night.
-"this kid ... may rape me"
This is the IMPORTANT PART.
Now, regardless of whether the rumor is true or not, you need to be very careful about your safety.
Start varying your routine. Mix it up day to day; don't always take the same routes to and from school or any other place, and try to vary the times you do things. Just keep it changing. Don't ride, walk, or go anywhere alone, not even to school. Start picking up a friend or some underclassmen every day and dropping them off if you drive to school; if you ride the bus, sit up front by the little kids. If you walk, find someone to walk with.
Consider carrying pepper spray or some other non-lethal weapon. Have it with you at all times, except when at school or at school events. Do NOT leave it in your car if you drive to school, and do NOT have it on your person during school if you walk or ride the bus. It may be illegal to possess at school. Be prepared to use other objects as weapons if you are attacked. Keys are good for scratching, you can hit people with your purse, etc. Talk to your local Girl Scouts, YWCA, or 4H about self-defense classes; they can hook you up.
Also, you may want to start keeping a cell phone and a personal alarm. Try to sleep away from windows, or in more internal rooms of the house... Get your hair cut short, or wear it in a hat. DO NOT wear your hair in ponytails, pigtails or buns (it's easier for men to grab you). Never go into shady places unless you're in a group of three or more TRUSTWORTHY girls. Never walk home alone. ALWAYS STAY ALERT.
Talk to your parents about what's going on; they can help in all regards... Unless you're certain that you're going to be severely punished. They may ground you, but if you're in danger of being raped, that may not be a bad thing for the time being.
~~
Just be careful, stay alert, and don't sweat all the stupid girls who are calling you names. In a few years, you'll graduate and leave this behind, and while the odd person may recognize you from the porno, the odds of anyone doing so--or feeling a need to say anything--will diminish greatly. And if all else fails, hair dye is your friend.
(Rating: 4) Good advice to long..!!!