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17f
okay i like this guy who im good friends with..i just started liking him this yr..this girl whos really good friensd with him told me that he liked me too but he said we are too good of ffriends and he doesnt wanna mess that up so hes not gunna do nething and try to get with me..the thing is, hes reallY INLOVE with this other girl who lives about an hour away..theyve loved eachother for like a yr and he tells me that he wants to marry her, etc..he flirts with me SOOO much though, like he'll tell me im his gf in a joking way and then hell be like just kidding ur my best friendddd..but he will like ALWAYS say that and put him arm around me..then ill be like haha u wish..we kid around like that n stuff...i wanna get OVER him though because there i have absolutely no chance with him bcause he still loves another girl..[they broke up awhile ago but still act like they are together]..we have 3 consecutive classes together and he always waits for me after class and we walk together to our next class, etc..we ALWAYS are partners in group assignments,etc..we are alwaysss together, talking, laughin, joking, etc..we trust eachother, etc..but i wanna get OVER HIM bcause i hate this feeling and the situation that i am like inlove with him when he doesnt realy have those feelings for me..but how am i suppose to just drop him? EVERY SINGLE DAY since the first day of single we have like a retuine..we meet up be4 our class, wait for eachother after class, laugh, joke, etc while walking to our next class, etc and it just keeps going..everyday..i dunno how to get over him if its like that when im always around him..i mean i cant just drop him..i dont wanna avoid him cause isnt that like messed up..i dunno if i should talk to him about it or what because i REALLY dont want him knowing how i feel so plzzz try and give me advice other than telling him how i feel...thanks so much and im sorry it was long.. (link)
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Hi Sweetie,
I see your conflict! Hmm... well it really does seem he only sees you as a friend (a best friend... maybe even a sister he never had but actually wanted). And I understand why you would want your space and all.
Its really not rude to tell him to give you some space o breathe (and um... get over him). It's only fair! It's not your fault he's become dependent of you and your rutine! However if you do people will see it as messed up. Why? Society is stupid that way!
Anyway a rutine... can be like an anti-depressent (I'm just giving a general example here... no connections to what you stated about his break up). You have to lower the dose S-----L----O---W--L-Y. What you'll do is slowly start keeping your distnce.
For instance, at first start talking more to another person or different people. Keep being his partner and having lunch with him and etc. Then later on plan for another friend to pick you as a partner every once in a while for something before he gets the chance to.
Slowly he'll start opening himself up to other people and accepting that you need space. Once you've manage to break free a bit you'll meet new NICE AND EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE guys who'll start getting your interest. And there's the happy ending! You don't have to loose your friend completely. And maybe seperating now will allow you to become closer and more comftrable as friends in the future... that or in the future when he's over his girlfriend (waaay in the future) he'll see you like a gilfriend-type. ...Don't get your hopes up. Just follow the first plan.
Hope I was of help. If not I hope someone was of help. Best wishes to both of you guys. ~Blessed Be...
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Rating: 5
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wow. thanks SO MUCH..u truely helped and i am grateful for your response. thanks for ur time and i think that im going to definitely go by your plan. thanks again
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