just_ask_me's advice column | Page 8

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Philadelphia

Occupation:

college student

Age:

21

Member Since:

April 10, 2005

Answers:

276

Last Update:

June 18, 2010

Visitors:

18111

Main Categories:

General Sex Questions

about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

okay so i am 20 and just got on loestrin24Fe birth control.. does anyone know what kind of side effects i will most likely experience? bigger boobs ? =) and how long will these side effects come in affect exactly?!

I've been on like, half of the birth control brands out there lol But MOST of them have the same side effects. You'll probably get some stomach problems [like stomach aches, maybe bloating] and you might feel some nausea. The only thing about the boobs, they might be more tender. It doesn't make them bigger, sorry :[
No out of the normal side effects, but you can always google it.

The side effects usually start in the first few months, and then they start slowing down and stop once your body is used to the daily pill.

so for english class we need to find a topic for our research/term paper. we also need them in form of a question, like "how did words came to called as they are now?"

i was thinking of such things as
- narcolepsy
- epilepsy
- abortion
- schizophrenia

how would you reword those topics in a form of a question?

and anyone have anymore reasearch paper ideas?

THANKS A BUNCH, ALL HELP IS APPRECIATED.

For one, I wouldn't go with abortion, or anything about religion or politics. You might have different views than your teacher, and it could slightly come out on the paper and they do sometimes grade lower for differing opinions (i know, it's wrong)

But anyway, a few of my research papers I've done were about school violence, depression, the economy, (i'm sure theres tons of magazine articles on that!) teenage drug use/sexuality. Those disorders you named too could deff work.

how long should i wait untill i take a shower after i go tanning...

and i use the tingle lotion i dont know if u know what it is but it tingles while you tan but ya please let me know!

I'm guessing you were in a tanning booth? ..And it wasn't the spray-on kind right?

Well, when I go tanning, I wait until later that night [before i go to bed] to take a shower. If you don't want to wait that long, just wait a few hours after tanning and then take a shower.

Does having bangs make you look more feminine or masculine? (for brunettes, if that helps)

I've had all different bangs in my life, but I don't think it makes you look either way. Definitely not masculine though! I'm guessing you are a female...? But when I had bangs, I loved em. Try it out and if you don't like it, grow them out and push em to the side for the time being.

I 16f and the biggest loner ever.I am not mean, hateful,I dont put anyone down or anything..I just never fit in.I am always the odd one out because I dont know how to make a joke at the right time,or isnt one wearing brand clothes,or because i dont smoke or do drugs, or because I dont have something that stands out about them. I had kidney failure when I was three,have been in the hospital most of my life,which contributes to the fact that I didn't make any friends.There was this one time though,about 5 years ago when I met this one girl,she said we were best friends and nothing would ever come between us,and when i heard this I thought things were finally looking up..Long story short,We were best friends for four years when all of a sudden,she decided to dump me for my (jerk of a)brother.Now I have had no friends again for quite a while.I desperately need to have a friend or a boyfriend.I need to feel like I belong.My family doesnt appreciate or love me at all.My mom always says 'I dont have time' when i try talking to her,and my younger sister always tells me she likes my (drunk,smoking weed,best friend stealing,jerk)brother more then me.
I don't look ugly or anything,and no one would ever know that I had kidney failure if I never told them. But its something else that leaves me left behind,hiding in a corner or in the dust.. I have no idea what I should do.Im thinking I should transfer schools next year to get out of this mess of a life..I only have one year left, but I think it would be best if I leave all this crap behind even if ive been here 11 years of my life.. and get out. What do you think? I know there must be true friends and boyfriends out there somewhere! I need comfort,hugs,laughter,less tears,and more joy in my life

How could you not think your unique? Have you realized how STRONG you are to get over something like kidney failure? You are probably more brave and unique than half the kids in your school.

You're still young and high school (not matter WHO YOU ARE) is tought for everyone. These kids that "fit in", might feel the same way you do, alone. They might choose to fake it and fake a smile and look like they're fitting in but beneath everything, all high school kids feel lonely and scared deep down, trying to find out who they are.

If your mom doesn't want to listen, MAKE HER. Be straight-forward and up-front. Sit her down, get her alone, and tell her you need her right now. And for your sister, she's trying to be "cool" by looking up to your brother, who (by your description) seems fake and like he's trying to impress everyone with his bad behavoir and choices!

There ARE true friends out there. It's just so incredibly hard to find them at your age, because at 16, alot of girls are catty and backstab, and usually put themselves first. You are a real person, and you should never settle for any friend or any boyfriend. You deserve a friend/boyfriend to really care and to make you laugh and feel good about yourself.

As you get older, you will start to feel more like you belong. Those jokes, well, they'll come at the perfect right time and everyone will laugh. And those stupid drugs and smoking? That will all get old and people won't care about it anymore. I hope you have decided to go to college when you graduate..? Because that's when things get SO much better. People are serious and real, and care about important things.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I've felt like you before. It always gets better. You have to open yourself up and keep your head up no matter what. Good luck :)

15/f
My hands are constantly seating and i don't know what its from. Its not just when i get nervous. It's gotton so bad that my skin is starting to peel because it is always moist and wet. I don't know what to do about it. Is there any lotion that prevents this?

You might have a condition called Hyperhidrosis (it sounds worse than it is)

You can google it, but here's a website from WebMD which is highly recommended and created and run by official doctors.

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/hyperhidrosis-sweating-when-should-you-see-doctor

For the time being (but you should see a doctor asap), I would wash your hands regularly, NOT use any kind of lotion/moisturizer and use some baby powder (rub it together in your hands) before you go out. You know how olympic athletes put the powder on their hands before doing the bars? They use it to keep their hands dry so they don't slip. Good luck with everything!

i was wondering if anyone has ever tried Garnier Nutritioniste Skin Renew Anti-Puff Eye Roll to help reduce dark eye circles and if it was successful. Or if not do you have any other suggestions in creams, or possibly even nutrition? (do not say sleep because i get a great amount of that and have seen no results)

thanks in advance.

Actually, my mother uses that garnier product and I haven't seen any results in her dark circles or puffiness. (Though I haven't told her that lol)

I have dark circles though too and I haven't had any luck with products to reduce them, but I do use concealer and that works great. I would go with a good concealer to match your skin tone and just dab some on in the morning, and it really brightens up your eyes.

I really want my boyfriend to come in me but I don't want to get pregnant. I read somewhere that the day you start your period is "day 1" of your cycle and that you usually ovulate between days 12-22. So how come they say you can get pregnant on your period? Does anyone know when it'd be safe and I won't get pregnant?

Also I was thinking about going to planned parenthood and getting the birth control shot. Does anyone know about it or how much it would cost there?

This question is actually very personal to me. I was the same way with my ex-boyfriend. We were together for years and when we started having sex, I thought it would be "hot" and sexy and he'd like it too. Well, we did that a few times and I ended up pregnant. I was naive and from then on, it was several types of birth control. I don't want to get into details, since it is personal... but please, BE SAFE. Use condoms! (Only one, never have a guy put two on) ANY kind of birth control! Even the morning after pill. You can get pregant at ANY time during the month. Good luck with everything.

I am in 4 AP classes. (AP Latin, AP English, AP US History, AP Calculus.) I was able to balance all of the homework until now. Now it seems like the homework is basically impossible to finish and I am never prepared for class. When I tell people about this problem, my friends say that I shouldn't worry so much and that worrying makes it worse, my teachers say that with good time-management skills It shouldn't be a problem completing homework, and my parents just say that they're proud of me for working as hard as I am. My grades are fair, but the nine-weeks just begun 2 weeks ago, and since swimming just finished I possibly might have more time. How can I manage my time so that I can finish my homework (about 3 to 6 hours a night) and still have enough time to hang out with my friends and not worry so much about my grades?

I'm guessing you are in high school, right? What I did, when I had hard classes, is devote the whole school week TO school work. I didn't go out at all during the week [mon - thurs] Then, on fri and sat. night, I partied and had fun! If your friends want to hang out during the week, tell them you're swamped with hw, because honestly, you are with all those AP classes.

During the week - come home, get comfy and eat a snack. Then, get to homework! Do all the writing assignments at a desk/table and don't let anything disract you (CELL PHONE esp). Then save all the reading/studying assignments for when you're laying in bed, because you usually remember better when you read something before you go to sleep (but again, turn off the tv and don't look at your phone)

That plan has worked well for me, and then all during the week you get to look forward to fri. night! AND you can save any last minute hw for sunday night. :D good luck

Ok,so I am a dark skinned male. My skin tone is something like an average person from Hawaii. Sun-tanned dark-middleish from brown to orange.

What color shirts should I wear to look lighter and good? Yeah I don't just want to look good,but I want to look fairer as well.

My pants:I usually wear dark blue jeans. I have heard white,khaki,grey and baby blue goes well with my skin tone. But I also heard white makes my tan skin look darker in comparison? And that I should stay away from black,but black makes my skin look fairer. So what are the colors that you suggest to make me look not only fairer,but nicer as well. Thanks!!

Hmmm, we'll I've had dark-tanned boyfriends my whole life, so I can definitely help! lol

Personally, I like the colors yellow, light blue, medium blue (royal blue) medium gray, and black looks good too! Definitely not white, like you said, it makes the skin look darker. I don't think khaki would be good either. But I hope you like your skin color! Naturally tan guys are very attractive :)

okay. i want to be able to have a beautiful natural glow. i tanned for two weeks for formal then stoped because i didnt want to get too dark. i am naturally kind darkbut not really. im mexican so of course i am dark. i dont know how to to get the perfect tan or what to use to just have that natural glow. any suggestions?

Just to let you know, tanning beds won't definitely give you cancer. It happens to some girls, usually the girls that go tanning constantly.

Anyway! I would suggest going tanning once a week to keep a nice glow.... and actually, there are some moisturizers you can buy that give you a subtle, natural glow. You can find it any beauty store, or like a target/walmart, anywhere with lotions. It doesn't look fake/orange, and it gives you a nice glow, and the more you use it, the darker it gets, but slowly and naturally.

I want to become a lawyer or judge, or something to do with the law in the future but lately i've been thinking of like religion and death and after-life and all those things.

Is there a career in religion studies? I'm sure it would be not as well paid as a lawyer or judge, but I'd like to know my options before. Even when i become a lawyer, I'd like to take some classes on religion and death/after-life based on religion. To me it's more of an excitement to know these things....BUT is there a possible job/career?

Well, I'm in college and I took a religion course, so you CAN become a religion professor or something of that sort. Philosophy also gets into religion. (Philosophy has alot more career options then religion, but it's basically the same thing) From what you're talking about, when you go to college, unless you're already in it, take religion and philosophy courses. By then, you'll know what direction you want to go in and those teachers can help ALOT. Good luck with everything! :)

Okay so around August me and my ex boyfriend broke up. He was my first love and after it ended it's taken me a while to get over it. I have never been so hurt in my life. Well now im doing pretty okay without him and I met someone else and now we are dating. He is very cute and sweet and I like him very much. But Now I feel weird about it. I know I am not fully over my ex, I still love him very much but I would never go back with him because too much has changed and I know I should be moving on but im starting to get those feelings I had when we first broke up and now I have my new boyfriend, he doesn't know I feel this way but I find it to be very unfair for him because now I'm having second thoughts of whether or not I should be in a relationship but I also feel I shouldn't be letting my feelings for my ex knowing that nothing is going to happen between us again get in the way of me being with someone else. SO now Im really confused and dont know what to do :(

I know how you're feeling. Do you find yourself comparing your new boyfriend to your ex? Jeez, I can remember how many times I did that and how exhausting it was! You seem to be very mature about the situation though, and it's thoughtful to be worried that your being unfair to your new bf. You should just take a break from everything, sit back and really think. Do you truly like this new guy? Does he treat you better than your ex? Is he just a rebound? Maybe you're feeling a little guilty that you're actually happy again! That happens too. If you know that you don't want to ever get back with your ex, and you've stopped contact with your ex (i hope you have! that just makes it worse) then you should put all your energy toward this new guy. You might even be unconciously making yourself feel this way because your scared of getting hurt again. It's like your heart's defense mechanism.

The bottom line is, if you like this new guy and he's making you feel great and you're happy, dive in and go for it. Don't go to places that remind you of your ex and don't talk about your ex to your new bf. Show this new guy that you're strong and happy, and let him have a chance! He sounds like a good guy.

im only asking this because other websites have made me paranoid and im feeling stupidly stressed out. i gave my boyfriend a handjob then afterwards fingered myself obviously i washed my hand inbetween with soap but he didnt cum just got a little wet
i am due on my period and i am getting a brown coloured discharge...which i here can mean being pregnant:s

I honestly do not think you're pregnant. I mean, if you break it down calmly ... you gave him a hangjob (and he did NOT ejaculate), then WASHED your hands, and then fingered yourself. The possibility of getting pregnant from that is 1 in a million, probably a billion! The brown discharge can just be the start of your period, or just some spotting in between.

So when you shave down there, it's never entirely smooth right? because you shave with the hair so you don't get razor burn? So there's always a little stubble? lol

Ok, what I do when I shave down there - I get into a hot bath and relax. After awhile, the hair is soft so you take a BRAND NEW razor and a good amount of shaving cream. I shave against the hair, which I'm not sure you're supposed to do..? But it works out well for me, because I shave slowly and it's a sharp, new razor. Then after I'm done, I use baby powder to prevent irritation and it's smooth for the next couple days.

Try it! Hope everything works out :)

Hi I just turned 18 and I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We are sexually active and I really want to finally get on birth control. I was wondering what type is the best and that most people use and also which is also average priced. My sister-in-law is on Yaz and likes it. What other brands are popular? Thank you!

You should probably see a gyno and they'll give you a prescription (if you already have one, ask him/her to recommend a brand). Gynos base it on what you need the birth control mainly for (regulating periods, decreasing cramps, prevent pregnancy, etc) So different brands actually focus on different things for your body. I use ortho tri-cyclen/trinessa and I really like it and I just use it to prevent prgnancy. I think it's about $30 a month. (I've been on it for almost 2 years, no problems)

You could also google different brands and see side effects and what others say about it.

I definitely do NOT recommend the patch of any sort/brand. There have been alot of bad reviews and horrible, fatal effects of it. Good luck with everything and stay safe :)

me and my ex dated a few months ago, for about two months. we were crazy about each other, but we just didnt work out, for the stupidest reasons. afterwards, we tried to be friends, but i was mean and ignored him to try to make him want me back, and eventually we just stopped talking. well, now, after not talking for so long (but me still thinking about him everyday and missing him like crazy) he just got a girlfriend. and i mean she's really not that great, and he doesn't seem very interested in her. what should i do? talk to him? i never see him anywhere. so i could like text him.. but what should i say? and how should i act? or should i just be upfront and tell him i want him back even though that would probably scare him off and i'd get rejected. i mean, he DOES have a girlfriend. what to do!? =[

If you are absolutely set on trying to get back together/work something out with him, then maybe an innocent text/IM would be appropriate... (or even a phone call if you're feeling daring)

You don't want to get rejected or come out with all of your feelings the first time you talk to him. An innocent text/IM/call would involve a "whats up!" and a "what have you been up to?", stuff like that. Don't come out with "i miss you" but you CAN say "i miss hanging out" in a sweet, almost joking way and see how he responds. At this point you're just trying to feel the tone and how he chooses to answer. If he seems interested and responds friendly, then that's great. But if he's giving you short answers and not asking you questions, then maybe it's time to move on. But even if that's the case, you have closure and know where things stand!

Hope everything works out :]

i refuse to poop at school, i'm fine with peeing though.
what should i NOT eat aat and before school?

lol, I can understand this!

For one, do NOT drink coffee at all, before or during school. That'll make you deff go.

I actually don't eat before classes at all (since I can't stand breakfast, but that's me) and I've been fine all day... but if you HAVE to eat something, then a banana is fine.. like a cereal bar.. something very small!

Also, you should probably avoid any kind of chocolate. Hope things work out :]

, every couple of weeks or so , for one day only, my classmates have notices an odd smell in the air. How ever, I have not noticed this smell and one person came up to me and said '' you smell like shit''. I shower every day, I apply deoderant daily and have tried to add a spritz of perfume to cover up the smell which didn't work. This has made me soo self conscious and one thing I don't get is how it's only for one day, and the next day it's gone. and it comes back every couple of weeks. !!! This has been really embarresing and id know what to do . Also, im going into highschool in september so I really want to get rid of this. HELP!!!

Are you absolutely sure it's you? It might not be you, but this RUDE person (if i might add) probably wanted to blame it on someone and sound all cool. It could be even the person in the class before you, who left this certain smell.

If you're sure it's you, maybe... do you notice if it's around the time you get your period? It might be that (especially if you use pads instead of tampons)

If you can't seem to determine where the smell is coming from, see a doctor. You could also try changing your deodorant and using a few spritzes of perfume.

My boobs have been soooo itchy lately. I googled it and it said pregnancy, gaining weight (means my boobs are getting bigger?), skin allergy, breast cancer. Well I'm 15 so I doubt it's breast cancer, I'm not pregnant or sexually active, I haven't asked if my mom changed laundry detergent or anything so it's either a skin allergy or gaining weight. I did just start my period but this started happening a few days ago for the first time. Does anyone know what it could be for sure or has this happened to them?

Thank in advance

Hey hun. For your age, I would definitely say it's either they're growing, your period, OR that they're dry! (Since it's the winter, dry skin is common and can be reallyyyy itchy)

So, no worries :]

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>