about

I'm new to the site so bear with me on my feedback profile, I know it may seem that I'm a lil young to be giving advice but not all wisdom comes with age or experience. I hope I can help you all out with your problems and really this is something I enjoy doing, my friends have all told me that I give good advice so hopefully I do and you all feel better after talking to me!! :) xx

advice

19/f whose not on birth control. i had sex with my bf the other night and im pretty sure he cummed inside me. he used a condom and after we did it i felt really weird. i wasnt sure if it was me being turned on but i think it was cum everywhere. he double checked and looked at the condom and it wasnt broken. so thats weird right? do you think im pregnant? If so my main question is how many days after i have had sex can i get a pregency test. because i thought that you cant after so many weeks or something so its accurate. thanks.

If the condom wasn't broken then its more than likely that cum didnt get everywhere so yeah you could be just paranoid but then again theres nothing wrong with wanting a pregnancy test. Normally it would be 2 weeks after you've had sex to take a pregnancy test. It could be just the fact that it was really warm down there and you felt like it was wet but better to be safe than sorry :). If you still feel like the reading on the test was wrong pay a visit to your doctor for a quick test/scan. Hope this helps!!xx

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Okay im 16/f and i started having sex at age 13 ive only had sex with men i enjoy it but i always have fantasys about women and i fine them attractive sexually and emotionally, ive never done anything with a girl only a kiss. Im with a man right now but i feel like something wrong i wish i could figure myself out please help me

Im 16/F and gay :). I was very confused when I just started secondary school because I had so many feelings towards girls, but i thought that i found men attractive. Im not saying that just because I'm gay you will be gay but what I'm trying to say is listen to your feelings. To be completely sure it would be best to experience being with a girl and being with a guy. Thats what I did. And for the whole time I was with a guy it just didnt feel right, I always thought about girls. And when I decided to explore that side of me to see if that was comfortable or whether I was just sexually aroused I found that I really loved women. I'm now in a very stable relationship with a girl. Sometimes if you have fantasies about them it may just been that you fnd them sexually arousing which doesnt necessarily make you gay. But what you need to do is not worry and just enjoy the flow of your life. If that leads to you being with a girl then so be it. Because the more you worry about it and surpress it then you'll always have that feeling with you and especially a feeling of dread. If you feel like something is wrong in your relationship with this guy try a break? Maybe try and flirt with some girls if you find this better for you then this is you. But if you really like guys as well then your just Bisexual. Don't worry about your sexuality and trying to find an answer straight away because you can make very poorly judged decisions. I've helped a lot of people out regarding their sexuality so if you feel like you need some more help inbox me and I'll be happy to help you :) Hope this helps!!xx

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so my bf and i are having sex! we just started this weekend. he popped my cherry and i was bleeding for a little and i kept spotting all the way til today. anyways, it completely burns when i pee. it hurts soo bad. and my vagina burns a lot and itches somewhat. i told my mom i thought that i had a yeast infection so she just put me on some sorta medicine about an hour ago. but yesterday and this morning my vagina irritated me so much that my legs felt numbish and weak like when your sick. i looked up my symptoms and it said it could possibly be a simple yeast infecton and thats when i told my mom.
my discharge is a tanish brownish white and i think its obviously tinted that because i was bleeding yesterday and the day before. anyways, could i have gotten a yeast infection because it was my first time having sex? or cause of the condom? he used a lubricated latex condom from trojan. am i allergic to latex? or lube? what do you think? and anyways most importantly, do you know of any condoms that are non- latex and are highly preventable for a pregnancy???
Please let me know what you think & please list below any condom brands you have in mind that could help! Thank you so much!

From your symptoms it sounds like either a yeast infection or a urinary tract infection. I cant really tell if you allergic to latex or lube but your best bet is to go to your doctor and tell them about your symptoms and how you think you might be allergic to that stuff. But for the meanwhile make sure you drink plenty of water and it should help with the burning of your vagina and when you pee. You really need to see a doctor though because there's no point doing a hit and miss with a bunch of medicinal drugs to see if thats what you really have. Hope this helps!!xx

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i know how to kiss with lips open but when it comes to tongue it confuses me? do you put tongue in their mouth 'while' your kissing? (if you do then how?) or do you just keep your mouth open and rub tongues?

Open your lips slowly and just a little during the kiss so that one of your lips is sandwiched between theirs and one of theirs is between yours. As you are locking and re-locking lips, brush your tongue against your partner's lips ever so slightly. This should make it clear that you want to French kiss.slowly try to open your mouth a little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into their mouth. The tongue is very sensitive, and the mere act of touching your partner's tongue with your own will be very pleasant. Do not stick your tongue too far into the mouth, as this can be a big turn-off. Instead, just gently and playfully touch tongues. Start lightly. Usually, if the other person wants more, they will come and get it.Go slow. Passionate kisses are good sometimes, but to really enjoy a French kiss, you must take it slow. Do not hurry and instead, take time to explore each other's mouths. Hope this helps!!xx

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So I've never bought dark choclate before but since it's another good thing to have in moderation, I thought why not keep some in my purse?

It doesn't matter if it's a bar i can break or whether it's choclate chips, they contain MUFA and 1/4 cup is a nice serving. But I went onto the site and each product they have, they give you the ingredients and stuff and actually none even are all dark chocolate! The closest product I found was Costa Rica 71% Dark Chocolate Bar.

Am I dumb and there's actually no such thing as pure dark chocolate, or what?

I'm really not too sure if you can get 100% cocoa. But the best kind of chocolate is definately 70% and over. I found a 100% cacao chocolate bar but im not too sure if thats what your looking for,
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/WILLIES-100-PURE-CACAO-VENEZUELAN-BLACK-DARK-CHOCOLATE-/300419944489.
I really hope this helps!xx

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I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm not sure which problems are the causes of others, and etc.. so I'll just say all of them. I'm a perfectionist with extreme procrastination (its basically ruined my entire junior year so far. and i've had it for as long as i can remember but it's just getting worse), I'm afraid of success because I'm afraid of being able to sustain it... though I really want to be successful. I have big dreams but I find it hard to notice how little things affect the big picture.. I just see the big picture, and I delude myself into thinking I can get, without doing much work beforehand. I thought I had high self esteem because I was able to stand up for myself.. but I was just pushing all my problems to my subconscious.. because I now realize that I actually have low self esteem.. and I'd somehow convinced myself I'd become more confident. Also, its easy for me to ask questions in class over work but its very hard for me to ask for help in general over personal issues.. like all what I'm talking about right now. I think I'd feel a lot more comfortable with a therapist than with anyone else. Whenever people ask me if I'm okay its very hard to admit I'm not.. every day I keep saying I'm fine cause I don't want to break down in front of my parents, teachers, etc. Generally I feel like people don't care about me.. which seems silly cause I know my family does.. but i dont know I just feel neglected, and sad because I think I've missed out on a lot of childhood and teen things. I don't have anyone I could call my best friend and etc and I don't know why this gets to me so much when I tell myself that it shouldn't matter. But its hard to go on facebook and see everyone else have fun. But I think I'd be a good friend to people but idk they always let me down.. but at the same time I think its also my fault cause I always underestimate the strength of my friendships with others.. its just.. ugh. I just wish I could have better relationships with people.. I mean even my relationships with people on the internet is a lot better. Like everyday these problems are on my mind and its driving me crazy cause I don't know how to stop and the work keeps piling on and all these bad habits have just gotten a lot worse... but it's just so hard to tell people this.. I tell them I don't need help when I know I need it.

I'm also socially awkward (due to my lack of much social experience due to not having much close friends) and tend to eat my feelings (even though I want to lose weight). I always feel burdened by a lot of regrets because I say I want to do a lot of things but I just don't do them and its annoying because I blame myself.. as I'm the only one who can change me, but why cant I get myself to do it? what the hell is wrong.. like I cant even control my own actions? why am I so lazy like this?

I'm looking for therapists on this website: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
But I don't know what criteria I should be looking for in a therapist.. in terms of what I'd label my problems as, in the drop down menu. Should I email or call the therapist, too? And what exactly do I say? Do I summarize the mess I wrote here (Idk how to though) or what? Should I talk to them first or ask my parents to talk with them first, too?

Thanks so much, you don't even know

I'm 16 too and with the majority of your problems, I can really relate. I know you find it difficult to ask people for help but the first thing you have to do is let your friends and parents know how you feel. Because then they can get some help for you. You don't have to tell them everything you wrote here out loud, but you could print this off and just sit them down and be like, I really need to talk to you about some stuff thats going onm hand them this piece of paper with all of this on it. They will understand and try and get you some help. I'm not really a therapist but as for perfectionism and procrastination you just got to think if i keep putting off these tasks Im going to feel really depressed, you know? I mean would you raher feel on top because you've done something or feel like comfort eating because your depressed at yet another thing you put off and it got you into crap. You have to change all priorities and want to change. You can just expect these things to happen. Give yourself this life you waint to aim for, you want to be confident and have high self esteem, get everything done on time etc etc. So do it. Just do it, if you don't then you can never be this happy person you want to be. In life there are so many things that cross our paths and so many bridges we have to overcome and if we cant pick ourselves up now it will be really difficult later in life. Your best bet is to show this to your parents and tell them that you think therapy is best for you to help you overcome your problems. They'll be more than happy to help, when you get to the therapist youll begin to explain your issues and then they can go on to refer you to different people if they feel that it will be best for you. I really hope this helps and if you feel the need to inbox me for some more help please do not hesitate to ask because this is what this site was made for! Hope this helps!!xx

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Okay, I have to do a 10 page paper on the death penalty. I have tried to find a case where someone who has gotten the death penalty was inocent... does anyone know of one???
Thanks, or if you have any info relating to the topic.

this links holds a bit of description on some cases where people were exectuted but then later found out to be possibly innocent, http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/executed-possibly-innocent
This website talks about people being wrongly accused but executed and has a few pages about it http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/3051/the_wrongly_condemned_innocent_on_death.html,
This page is for the death penalty so you can look at the other side of the argument.
http://www.prodeathpenalty.com/

Hope this helps!!xx

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I can never let go during sex.what I mean by that is I never mmoan or speak dirty or make any noises to show I'm enjoying it.
I feel so awkward doing it and feel like I loolk and sound so stupid.
How do I just moan and show the guy I love it?

If you really want to let go during sex then you can. What you have to do is get it out of your head that its gonna be awkward if you moan. You don't have to speak dirty if you really don't want to because for some people thats a real turn off. When you find something funny your response is that you laugh, but you don't find it awkward. When you find something pleasurable you moan. Which is completely natural. You don't have to be really loud about it if you feel really awkward. But normally if you moan then it gives the person your having sex with hints of where you find it most pleasurable. You just have to overcome the awkwardness of it all. Once you've done that its fine. If you need anymore help don't hesitate to ask :) Hope this helps!!xx

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Okay i am 19/m and she is 16/f. I need an idea on what to do for valentines day. I'm not a poet..been there tried that, and i'm in a financial bind at the moment, so it's not like i can buy her something nice. Every christmas and her birthday, i do something special and get her an extravagent gift..but this year is going to have to be different and she understands that, i just feel horrible that i can't get her anything nice. hell..i don't even have the money to buy her roses.. I would love to sit down and spend time doing something for her i just have no idea what i can do..plz..help

Totally understand you and the situation you are in. It sucks not being able to buy a gift for your loved one on a special occassion. But maybe you could go out for like a stroll in a park then you take her back to your place or something and cook some food for her? That's intimate and romantic and the gesture of cooking for her is something practically every girl loves. It makes them feel special. Or you could try making something for her with little messages on, each one saying something you love about her. Just keep it simple but romantic and I'm sure shell love it. Inbox me if you need anymore help :) Hope this helps!!xx

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I'm an 18 year old female with nothing on my sexual resume. I've never been kissed and the furthest I've gone with a guy is an awkward pat on the back. I am too the point where sex is just about all I can think about. I wanted to wait, and save myself for the right moment. Now all I want (or it really feels like need) is someone to just hold me, touch me, anything. Masturbation can only get you so far. I'm not this girl, I wanted to fall in love and have it mean something, but now I can't wait, I don't want to wait and its literally driving me up the walls. What am I supposed to do with myself, do I just go find the nearest guy and jump into bed with him? I don't want to feel like this anymore. Please.

There are probably so many people out there who are thinking exactly that, I even thought it but like just because your sex drive is extremely high right now doesnt mean you have to jump into any guys bed. Go on the dating scene find a guy who you have stuff in common with and start from there then when it comes to that sex part and obviously you feel ready then just go for it. Start dating first because just going with any guy wont feel good especially as it would be your first time. No ones saying wait years until you fall in love with someone to have sex with them but at least like the person on some kind of personal level, thats why people have boyfriends, so i'm sure if you just start from there you'll seen satisfy your need :) Hope this helps!!xx

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hi i wanted to know if anyone could tell me pages similar to www.polyvore.com, where you can create matches of clothing like you have cathegories for different dresses shirts shoes bags etc and you can put them together to see how it looks like? or just any pages where you can get like that kind of fashion images to check on styles and combinations ?? THANKS

Theres probably a few like polyvore.com and I know a couple, www.shopstyle.com allows you to get your favourite items and create a little mood board if you will of your favourites and make it into a style however on www.looklet.com it allows you to create a style it puts the clothes on a model which is pretty cool. Hope this helps!!xx

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I'm a 15 year old girl and people at school have started to call me a lesbian even though I'm NOT just because I've never dated anyone and have few guy friends. It's hurtful and I don't know what to do. HELP!

I got that in school. And really there's not much to do apart from accepting it and getting on with your life. They will only be in your life for a short amount of time so dont let them bother you so much. There's so sad and have no life that they're bothering you about yours, you know your not so that should be enough. In some cases you denying it will only make them believe it more and tease you more. But if you can stand your ground strong enough then the next witty remark they throw at you about you being a lesbian or whatever then just have a come back ready and waiting to shock them as they expect you to say nothing. But whatever you do dont feel forced to date guys or go out with guys and all of that just to please a crowd of people. It can be extremly hurtful with the things kids come out with but come backs and ignoring on your behalf as well as a good set of family and friends to support you shall be all you need to get you through. Good luck and if you need more help on this subject because I've had 3 years of experience in that department!! please dont hesitate to inbox me!! Hope this helps!!xx

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SO I havent had my period in like 2 months I don't understand whats going on, Ive been hooking up with this guy for months and like we've both been naked like his penis on my vagina like almost in.. but we
ve never really full on had sex.. is it possible to get pregnant from that? I don't know

If his penis was somewhat in your vagina it is possible that he pre-came into your vagina and you became pregnant however the only way to find out if you are pregnant is to get a pregnancy test because if you've missed your period twice then there's a strong chance you are. So get a pregnancy test just to be sure so you can get your options ready. Hope this helps!!xx

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This kid calls my friend wierd and I said how.. Then he replyed by saying have u looked in the mirror lately what's a good comeback to that?

Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.

Insult: You're a fail. Comeback: So was your dad's condom.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you you might as well dress like one!

Is that your head or did your neck throw-up?

I really do hope some of them help, their quite quick witted or crude but will definately stop this kid in his tracks, Hope this helps!!xx

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f/13 I am in the 8th grade,and I like this guy.Lets call him Owen. Ever since the very first day of school,I have liked him. I mean,who wouldn't? He is in revolution. He sings and dances.Its really sexy. The teacher asked the class what everyones favorite color was.and I said green. When it came Owens turn,he looked at me and said green as well. He smiled,in which I returned the smile. Owen is sooo sweet and shy and sensitive. He is everything that I looke for in a guy. He says "hey" to me all the time. He stares at me in math class,and when he realize that I notice,he he smiles then looks away and blushes. Its so effin adorable!!!! So do you think he likes me?Also.if so,can you give me some advice on how to get up the courage to ask him myself? Thanks alot -SilentShalee

It does sound like he likes you too. Considering you are just at the stage of acquaintances it would be best to try and befriend him first. So maybe introduce yourself to him one time? Ask him for help on some homework you've been given or after a test be like do you think you did well? Just put your foot in the door and start talking to him and progress from there. Arrange outings and stuff. If you need some more help or want to ask more questions don't hesitate to inbox me! :) Hope this helps!!xx

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how do wedding and engagement rings work? do you buy the engagement ring to wear until the wedding then she picks out a wedding ring and you use that one at the wedding and wear that one forever or do you keep the engagement ring the whole time just take it off before the wedding? also what rings are for what? like girls dont wear the flat bands after they are married right? you can wear the stone diamonds? if im not mistaken wedding and engagement are the same pretty much?

Traditionally a man gives an engagement ring to the woman during his marriage proposal. This ring is generally more expensive and detailed with a large center stone, usually a diamond.

The wedding rings are bought by the couple for each other. Typically they are simple bands, but some are highly detailed. They are exchanged during the marriage ceremony.

Wedding and engagement rings are worn on the left ring finger. At the wedding, the bride will wear her engagement ring on another finger, or not at all and once the wedding ring is placed on the ring finger she may return the engagement ring to there as well. The wedding ring will always sit closest to the hand, the engagement ring closer to the tip of the finger.

When an agreement or oath has been made between two people, a promise ring is a piece of jewellery given as a token of the commitment that was made.

The promise made between two people can be practically anything. It’s imperative that both parties are clear on the meaning of the pact or pledge. For example:

Monogamy: A promise to stay faithful to one another.
Chastity or Purity: A promise to keep ones virginity until marriage.
Friendship: A promise to seal a pledge of eternal friendship.
Substance or Sobriety: A promise to remain free from addictive behavior (alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, etc.).
Religious or Christian: A promise to remain committed to one’s faith or belief in the God of their understanding.

These are just a few of the more popular reasons to give or wear a promise ring.

That being said, the most popular reason to give a promise ring is for pre-engagement.

Pre-engagement is actually not as bad as it sounds. It has always been popular to exchange promise rings, so a couple can showcase their commitment to one another prior to getting engaged. In other words, this ring is symbolic of a promise that there will be an engagement ring forthcoming. Hope this helps!!xx

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My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 8 months. He is also my first boyfriend, which I know is a little weird since I was 17 when we started going out.

Before him, there was only one other guy who I briefly casually dated a few times but it fizzled out. Other than that my guy history is empty.

Whenever my current boyfriend asks me about who I've last dated I change the subject or dance around it. To me its awkward and embarrasing to talk about since he has had numerous people he's dated before me. I also know that he deserves to know this stuff and it shouldn't be a big deal, but it just makes me feel weird.

I really don't know what to do about it, but the subject does come up from time to time.

Any advice on how to approach this?

I get why you would find it embarassing to have not had as many partners as you boyfriend but then again you should feel proud and he should respect you for not having so many and lucky to have you. The next time he asks you about your past relationships just simply tell him the truth, just be like to honest I havn't really had many relationships but I did date this one guy but it fizzled out. Normally if your boyfriend is asking about past relationships its either just to get to know you or to see if they have anything to be jealous about. Don't fret about it so much because if you have been together for this long then just telling him when he next asks won't be bad at all and he'll respect you :) Hope this helps!!xx

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Rite so ive been with my boyfriend since before christmas. Im the shy type of girl! And i want to kiss him so he dosnt go off me! but the thing is hes not that type of boy he dosnt care if i kiss him or not he just wants to be with me. He makes me happy and i love him so so so much! i wanna be with him forever but i will only hug him im to shy to kiss or meet him!
So my question is how do i not be shy and just kiss him? Please help!

Well when your with your boyfriend next time if it helps you could ask him to close his eyes and say hold out your hand so he doesnt think your gonna kiss him. Then just go for it because he won't be expecting it and you won't feel pressured. You said that he doesnt care if you kiss him or not so don't feel so pressured. Just relax and you'll get there in your own time. You could try cuddling up to him one time and just kiss him on the cheek. Or when you leave after meeting up kiss him on the cheek then. That will give you a start so the more you kiss him on the cheek the less why you'll become. I was really shy and couldn't kiss my partner but then if you just forget about everything and relax and just go for it. You'll get there, hope this helps!!xx

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my boyfriend and i have been going out for three years now. we've done everything from bjs to fingering and just started sex about a month or two ago...but the thing is.i.can't.orgasm.

and its killing both of us. when he fingers me it feels okay. sometimes i feel like i have to pee,but neever reach the climax. now with sex , its the same thing. people say it just takes time and i've read so many articles , yet still cannot orgasm. he's easily happy every time but i'm not. i feel awful...is there something wrong with my body?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with your body. And it really does take time. You have to let yourself completely relax and just go with whatever happens. Don't think about it so much during sex because its more than likely to not happen. Try exploring yourself on your own for a little bit that really does help a lot of people. It definately helped me. Once you know what gets you to the point of climax then you can show him what gets you there because he'll be more than happy to get you there and get that sense of achievement. He really won't be wierded out by what you show him. Hope this helps!!xx

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f/16. so many things are going on especially with this guy I used to "talk" to. we were together for a little over six months. he told me he loved me. everything was great. i didn't want the whole "boyfriend. girlfriend" title because in my head i feel as if it gives him more power to hurt me even though I knew it was possible for him to hurt me because I was emotionally attached to him. recently we've been having problems. we completely stopped talking for a month. we had a talk and now we are i guess acquaintances. we both seem miserable though because we want to be together, we love each other, we just need time.
my best friend who is also friends with him, told me she feels as if she talks to him as more than a friend. she told me this while we were high. I asked her if she liked him and she said "no, I never said that" but due to the fact that I was high I went into deep thinking and somehow convinced myself that she likes him. i started having flashbacks to a few times the three of us hung out and she would try to make me look stupid in front of him. I'm not sure if I'm just over-thinking everything. I've promised to stop smoking weed, and I'm going to stick to it. I'm trying to get my life together but I don't know what to do with the guy I'm in love with. It's so confusing. I love him, he loves me but now we barely talk. I hung out with him and my best friend right after my best friend told me that stuff and we were still high so I stood quiet pretty much the whole time in fear that I would say something I would regret. I left first and I hugged him around three times because part of me kept forgetting I already hugged him and the other part didn't want to leave his side. my best friend made a comment that got me really mad. "damn, stop hugging him." he gave me another hug after the comment.
I'm very self conscious and have a really low self-esteem. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm completely lost, I feel worthless and I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to that I trust. My mom passed away and my dad left me a couple of years ago. I live with my grandma but we rarely talk.

Hey im also f/16 and my friend is going through the same things as you are expect its with a girl. The first thing that you have to do is kinda part youself from him so you can lose the emotional attachment. I mean i understand that you do love him but to give each other time means you have the time to re-evaluate whats going on in your life and make changes. I'm in a relationship and i had a huge emotional attachment we took a break for a bit and i tried to stay strong and we talked through our problems and in the process that it took for me to make sure I was strong which was to just go back to the days before we were together. Which was when i could deal without talking to her for more than a day. Then after that happens you don't become detached from him. You just become less clingy and less deep in the emotion so you can see whats going on. My friend smokes weed to and is trying to cut down, and it's reall good that you want to do this. Because it can have really bad long term effects on you and one of those is paranoia which you could be going through. What you need to do is talk to him like your friends again do the whole getting to know them all over again process and just chill out. You'll soon get a sense of purpose again. As for your mum passing away i'm really sorry to hear that, but im sure she wouldnt want you throwing your life away. If it helps you can talk to her before you go to sleep. Just let a little out at night if you believe she's watching over you. Just as you live with your grandparents so does my mate. She always has really low points and it can be difficult to bring her back up from those but you just got to think, you have friends, you have a life, and you begun a love life. Your childhood makes you hold on to what amazing times you have with people that you love and you just have to ease your grip a little. You can inbox me if you want to talk more because I am more than happy to help. I really do hope this helps, please don't hesitate to ask any other questions. Hope this helps xx

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