about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.


advice

15/f

recently ive noticed a LOT more sexual thoughts going through my head. like if a guy just touches me briefly or talks to me i immediately start thinking not-so-pg13 rated thoughts about him..even male teachers and stuff which is really gross = =; i thought guys were supposed to be the ones with sexual thoughts. should i be worried?

You shouldn't be worried, it's completely normal :-) I know i went through the same thing when i was 15 too, it didnt last long but all of a sudden i was getting thoughts like you. It's completely natural so don't worry about it :-)

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http://cgi.ebay.com/NWT-Navy-White-Striped-RALPH-LAUREN-Bikini-Bottom-L_W0QQitemZ290139462859QQihZ019QQcategoryZ63867QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1638Q2em118Q2el1247

i really love this bathing suit from ralph lauren but on ebay they only have the bottoms. does anyone know any place that has a very similar one, like the blue stripes with the yellow outline? or any places that has good bathing suits. thankss.

These are some i found in a similar style to the one you like

http://www.asos.com/Asos/Stripe-Halter-Bikini/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=282299&cid=2238&clr=RoyalWhite&sh=0

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=false&catalogId=19551&storeId=12556&categoryId=110926&parent_category_rn=42365&productId=658489&langId=-1

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where can i get a good push-up bra? victorias secret is overrated. which brand would you recommend?

www.figleaves.com is really good, I get mine from there x

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my name is ashley. my x-bf hates me because i got pregnet after we already broke up.and now hes going out with one of my friend..and he doesnt believe me that im pregnet even though i showed him the pictures from the doctors..what can i do to get him to belive im pregnet?

i need advice,
ashley

If he won't believe you when you've shown him proof from the doctors then i doubt theres anything you can say to convince him, wait a couple of months until you start showing, he'll believe you then.

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I feel like my mind is messing with me. I am 5'5'' and about 135lbs ( 15/female) . Now, technically that isn't overweight, but I used to be 4'6'' and 140lbs a few years ago, and my brain is stuck on that.

Back then I told myself I was healthy, but now whenever I look at myself in the mirror or in a picture I think I look obese. I can usually keep this to my self, but when I am PMSing, it gets worse. I feel like such a fatty all the time. I dont really have any confidence. I dont wear make-up because I have a disease on my skin on my face , so that doesnt help. My family and friends are concerned, but I just cant help it
=/

how can I make my self think I am normal-looking?

It sounds as thought you have Body Dismorphic Disorder (BDD), it is a mental health problem thats causes you to see yourself in a different way to reality.

A don't have this myself but one of my friends has this, she see's a therapist who helps her to cope with it.

Have a chat with your GP and mention BDD to him, if he thinks this is what you have you will probably be refered to a therapist (which means you wont have to pay if you live in the UK, not sure how the health service works anywhere else though).
Coucelling and therapy will help you to see yourself in a better and more realistic light, it's usually cognative behavioural therapy as this type of therapy is used to change our thought patterns.

It is important that you do get proffessional help because if it is BDD, that can lead to other mental health problems such a depression and anxiety.

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so my whole life i have add mild anxiety and for about ten months i could function after i stopped talking medicine but the past fourish months there's been alot of chaos and i cant control it by myself.
i sometimes find myself having random panic attacks.
little things like school stuff freak me out or just thinking about certain people or things make me extremely anxious.
my nervous are uncontrolable.
i would like to avoid not taking medicine.
anything would help.
thanks. =)

I suffer terrible panic attacks too and like you, wont take medicine. I cant help you overcome it as i still have them but they are somethings i can tell you that help me.

Lavender Roll ons - These are little tube of roll on sticks that you can get from health shops, you put them on pressure points on your wrists that help you relax.

Smelling Salts - I think you can get these from health shops too, they come in a tiny bottle and you smell them to calm you down. I found these to be very effective when i had an extremely bad bout of panic attacks last year.

Aroma Dough - This is like play dough but it has armoatherapy oils in, i have the lavender one as Lavender is very good for calming. You can play with it and squeeze it like a stress ball while the aroma calms you http://www.clearviewshop.co.uk/shop/catalog/browse?shop_param=shop_overview_pager%3D2%26cid%3D2%26

These are all things that you can fit in your pocket or your school bag, which leads me to...

Comfort bag - I used to take my comfort bag everywhere with me, you can use your school bag as yours. A comfort bag is something you can put all your comforting things in just incase you have a panic attack, it also helps just knowing that if you did have a panic attack then there are things with you to help you.
You could put some aromatherapy oils in it, a drink or 2 is essential (preferably water or dilute as water helps you especially when the panic brings on sickly feelings), a puzzle book and magazone to distract your mind from the panic. If you are concentrating really hard on a puzzle or reading then the panic dies down because it's in the mind. Also a mobile phone or little games console just to distract you, and tissues because if your anything like me you'll get upset when you panic, also panic can cause phlegm in the back of your throat so i find its always best to get it out rather that swallow it.

I would see your gp again and see about getting some therapy, cognative behavioural therapy is usually best for panic as it helps to change the way our minds think.

Deffinatly 100% tell your teachers about your panic attacks and what triggers them, then if you need some time out if your feeling anxious then they can let you go and relax if you need to. It would be great if your doctor could just write a doctors note to explain this, you would only need to show it to your head teacher or form teacher as they would tell your other teachers in the staff room.

I hope this help you and if you need to ask me anything else about panic then just ask :-) xxx

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Ok. I'm in my early 30's. I'm a single father. My mother is recently widowed. I own and operate a multi-location company. I also manage a handful of celebrity clients as well. So I guess you could say I have alot on my plate. Given I'm an earner alot of people outside of myself call on me for financial support. I'm in a different city everyweek and I spend my days working in my offices and my nights at the studio or scheduled functions with my clients. Recently the woman I love and wish to spend my life with came her for advice on our relationship and to my dismay perfect strangers who have met me have passed judgement on me. Allow me to explain. I met this woman about 4 years ago and at that time I was knee deep in work as usual and I was coming out of failing relationship but for some reason God decided to bring this woman my way. She's beautiful, sexy, smart, determined, loving, caring and did I mention beautiful? Nevertheless we met and instantly hit it off. I actually felt so comfortable with her that I took my daughter along with me on our first date. To me I had nothing to hide and I wanted her to know exactly who I am. My breakup drug on...like some relationships do and I found myself in the middle of a love triangle. On top of that I had infidelity issues. Yes I said it. I'm not here to lie to you. She also had her friends too. So the poor you is not what it seems. Most importantly the first love of her life seem to always be a compared me and I didnt seem to measure up to him. She loved to party. Party all the time til I had to ask her to slow down. On top of that she ran with a crew of serial seducing ladies who had relationships with some of my friends and clients. We had fun. Alot fun. So to me it was what it was. We loved hanging out but we never talked of the future. Anyways enough about that. The other relationship is finally over. It has been for awhile. I'm not saying it was right or wrong but I am being honest. My biggest problem is people tend to comment on the very same thing that they themselves have been through. Life's not a scripted journey. Every chapter is different. Moving on. Did I mention I run with entertainers and athletes? So that means woman are throwing themselves at you from every angle and because of this I find myself in some sticky situations to say the least. I've learned that I love her. That came to me like a dead weight dropped on my head. I love her deeply. The problem is she cant let go of the past and I cant change the past. If I could I would in a heartbeat because I'm ready to move on with my life. My mother and father were married 54 years when my father died so I tend to think that theyre relationship was a successful one. So thats who I look to for advice and what I found is that even my father had his ways. No ones perfect. But for everyone to say "Once a cheater always a cheater" is not fair. Love doesnt give you a heads up and most men dont get it til its too late. I've since then changed my ways. I stay out the club. I only go out with her. I keep the female traffic off my phone. Basically I'm at a place where I just want to be with her. However, since I'm really busy she takes that as cheating and I dont think thats fair. For example she may call me or text me and I'll respond clearly that I'm in a production meeting or with an attorney or maybe even in rehearsal for a show. Once I say that she begins to ask me a series of questions that I cant answer at the time since our atty is $425.00 an hour. But then she goes into a tantrum and turns me and evil towards me and I just dont think thats fair. I dont deal with any other women. She hasnt heard about me being around any women for quite some time now but she still wont let the past be the past and I love her. Deeply. We both discussed counseling but my issue was I felt that we should pay 50/50 so we both have vested interest in the sessions but that never happen. Normally when she tells her side and they get around to my side people come to a split decision for lack of better words. Now with the response from this site coupled with the past against my fight she's decided to leave me? Are you guys happy now? I mean you've never met me. Dont know my struggle. Most of you sound like you've had your own struggle with the opposite sex. What makes you an expert? I love her. Now she's gone away from me and I dont know what to do about it. I am not cheating on her. I asked her to take the next step and move in together and/or get married. I have no problem with committment to her. I admit. I was wrong in the beginning. But thats not where we are now. I've stepped up and changed my ways. I'm not the evil person she lead you out to believe. I want her back. I miss her. I need her to understand that I've grown. My life has changed. Yes people do make changes. They dont change completely but people make changes. Have you never made a mistake or had a regret on an something you did? I ask you. Is my relationship salvagable? Is their way for her to see that I'm here for her? I would never hurt her again. She mean to much to me. Can you help me? Thanks.

To be honest with you, i wouldnt know how to answer this question, but if i reject it then it will be deleted off the forum. So your best bet is to place it in the main forum and get opinions from a few people.
I'm really sorry i couldnt help xxx

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I'm not allowed to do anything with my leg or arm hair. My parents think it will grow back thicker no matter how much I convince them. I also have kind of sensetive skin I guess? Well, I need every possible way to get rid of leg hair. Every time I look at my legs, theres either more hair, or getting thick. My parents think shaving will make it grow back thicker, the hair removal cream will harm my skin, and waxing, they think its bad?
If you can please help, then can you please please please list these :
- Positives and Negatives for every possible way to remove body hair
- If you tried any, then please list the comments
- Some ways to convince my parents to buying them

My parents dont even have leg hair, my dad does, so I guess it genetics. Otherwise, they still dont let me. Any advice would help. Thanks ;♥

If your leg hair (and under arm hair especially) is really noticable, thick and dark then tell them you are really self concious of it, especially in PE because everyone else has smooth legs and yours stand out. Also tell them that razors are really cheap to buy for a pack so they will last you a long time too.
I think most girls start shaving their legs around your age anyway, it's all part of puberty and growing up.

I know you didnt mention it but under arm hair is better shaved off, it's not very nice to look at and it's more hygenic, especially as when you are going through puberty you sweat more, so the odour lingers in the hair. so maybe they could let you have razors for this and then try shaving your legs too.

Once you shave your legs, it will grow back thicker and darker so it's something you have to keep doing to keep it managable.

Pro's of shaving - It's quick, it's easy, if you use alot of shaving cream you shouldnt cut youself too much, disposable razors are cheap to buy, you can buy safety razrs which minimise cutting.

Cons of shaving - you can cut yourself (though not deeply, just little nicks), you can get razor burn sometimes, the hair grows back thicker and darker, it's something you have to keep doing.

I used to use hair removing cream too

Pro's - It leaves your legs hairless and smooth, hair takes about 3 weeks before it starts to grow back

Con's - expensive, doesn't always work the first few times so you may need to buy more than one tube, it's messy, it can take atleast half an hour sometimes so you can't just do it if your in a rush

Hope this helps xxx

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16/f
Does veet really work for shaving "Down there"?

There is a Veet (and other creams) that say on the box that they are for the "bikini area", it says those exact words. Those are hair removing creams.

To be honest though, they take ages and never work the first time, i find shaving is much more effective, then i just use the "finishing cream" out of the hair removal cream box to smooth the area.

chakra x

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I really want to make a Skins video for youtube. I've downloaded the episodes off veoh.com and it automatically saves them into my realplayer.

I opened windows movie maker and clicked on 'import videos' then it comes up with my files and it has realplayer, veoh and sample videos. Veoh was empty so I clicked on realplayer, selected 'all files' from the drop down box next to the file name, and then it shows the file for an episode.

As soon as that happens, movie maker stops working and shuts down.

Also, the episode that shows itself as a file was one I downloaded accidentally and then deleted, so I don't know why it's still there and the others aren't.

Does anyone know how to solve this?

Or if there's any other video editing software I can use?

x

I'm not sure about Veoh.com but if you download videos from YOUTUBE (try it with Veoh.com too though) you can convert them using something called VIDEOLAN (it's the first link that comes up when you google that).
If you follow the instructions exactly (it's hard at first but easy once you get used to it), then you can convert the videos into WMA. files, which means you can import them to windows movie maker and make loads of great videos :-)

I'm useless at computers but i've mastered this with practice, so you'll be ok :-) xxx

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17/f
I am always tired. I mean, ALWAYS. I can sleep for 9 hours and wake up tired, but I can also sleep for up to 12 hours and still be tired. No matter how long I sleep I'm always exhausted. It's really causing problems because I can't concentrate. This has been going on for a few months now. I thought I was just tired, but it hasn't gone away. I was just wondering if anyone knew any reasons why this might be. Any possible explinations would be appreciated.
Thanks.

Deffinantly go to your GP as it could be a number of medical things, i'm not a medic so i wont even try and tell you what they are but it could just be that you are over sleeping.

Sleeping too much, 9 hours is too long, 12 hours is way too much so it's no wonder that you are tired, sleeping for this amount of time can make you feel unwell and exhausted.

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In the winter time I get really depressed. The winter is just so dreary and cold, and dark. However, in summer when its warm and bright outside, i feel really happy and energetic again. I think there's a condition for this, but i'm not sure what it's called. i live in new york, so if you live here too, you know how the weather is in the winter. do you know what i could do to stop feeling so depressed in the winter? i heard something about light exposure therapy, maybe you can explain that. thanks

I qualified in Colour Therapy, and Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D) was part of my course, there are ways of helping yourself to get the lightyou need in order to feel better. We need 30 minute of natural light a day so one thing you can do is just to be outside for 30 minutes whether your sitting in the garden or just going for a walk, walking also helps depression :-)

TO increase Natural light in your home you can:

Keep your windows clean and open, although if it's too cold then don't keep them open.

Draw your curtains back as far as they will go in the day time, and open any window blinds.

Move any objects off window sills, such as plants and orniments.

Place mirrors opposite windows in rooms that have low light.

Spend as much time as you can in the room that gets the most sunlight, so if you have a conservatory this would be great.

If you have a small garden, paint the walls white as this creates more sunlight.

Lightboxes are expensive to buy, so i suggest that before you commit to buying one of those that you see your GP and tel them about your symptoms and that you suspect you have S.A.D and talk about light boxes and light therapy with him, you maybe about to see a light therapist for free if you are refered but i'm not sure if they do them on the NHS or where you live.

Hope this helps xxx

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okay so one day this guy txted me out of the blue and weve been txting each other everyday ever since and he says hes 13 likes soccer like me and it seems like we have alot in common but weve never actually met in person or even talked on the phone just txting but dont know how to tell if hes telling the truth or not and i really want to meet him in person but what if hes not who he says he is thanx ahead of time 13/f

he sounds like a "groomer", someone who gets kids to believe they are a child themselves and will make you have feelings for them before asking to meet.
You need to stop all contact with this person, dont even text him to say your cutting contact or that you dont trust him, just ignore him no matter what he says.

Please dont put yourself in danger, you are ok now but these men are sneaky and will try and make you fall for them, they prey on young children like yourself.

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ok well ive only been fingered a fwe times now and i just masturbated a few hours ago and well there was some sick brown stuff on my finger ya what is that?? it was never there before could it be from me having my period a few days ago??

It could be that you just fingered yourself a little too hard or that your body just isn't used to it.
I had that problems sometimes a few years ago when my boyfriend was doing that to me, (after a long time of not having that done to me), it lasted upto 2 days. It was nothing to worry about though. x

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Okay my boyfriend fingered me two nights ago and yesterday I woke up and i was pretty sore down there. I am still sore and i checked things out down there myself and I found that I have been bruised by my vagine (or at least I think its a bruise). Am I going to be okay? I've been fingered before but I havent gotten really sore from it. What should I do?

If it's a bruise then just rest it, no more nookie until it's better, otherwise you'll just carry on being sore.
It will hurt for a while but it's just a bruise.

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Ok, how do you delete your history on google?
like when you type in someting, how do you make all the other items you have searched for dissappear?
Thanks soo much!

You double click in the seach bit, put the mouse over each word (dont click it though) and just press delete.

Or you can do it by typing "A" then delete all the words starting with A (in the way i mentioned above). Then "B" ect

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when you sign up for that on ABC do you hafe to make a video?


or can you just send in pictures..or would a video be better?

You have to print off an application form here: http://abc.go.com/primetime/xtremehome/index?pn=apply it says that you have to send a video, then if you chose, you can send photographs aswell.
But you MUST send in a video.

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During the winter i always get really depressed for some reason. So i try to keep myself really busy so im not thinking to much, but that only works for a little while. I was wondering if that happens to anyone else, like you feel depressed during the winter? I think its really weird, and also besides just keeping myself busy what else could i do, whithout having to talk to someone or take anything? Bc already its hitting me and winter is a longggg season. Well any advice would be helpful, thanks :)

It sounds as though you have SAD (season affective disorder), it's very common for people to have this disorder.


SAD (season affective disorder) is a form of depression which is brought on by lack of natural light.
SAD makes the sufferer feel depressed which causes sleep and emotional problems. It is important for a person with SAD to get as much natural light as possible as this will really help to ease the depressive symptoms.

Natural light encourages action of the pituitary and pineal glands, this controls the release of hormones into our body that are closely linked to moods and emotions.

Everyone needs at least half an hour of natural light a day, this means to actually be outside in it without screens or sun glasses.


How to increase natural light:

Keep windows clean and open them

Draw curtains as far back as they will go and keep blinds up during daytime

Move anything away from windows that obstructs light such as plants and orniments

Put up mirrors opposide windows in rooms that don't have much natural light coming through

If possible, create skylights and sunrooms to benifit from sunlight

Sit outside as much as possible and get as much fresh air as you can, even though it is cold the light will really help to ease the depressive symptoms

Depressive symptoms can be improved within two to four days when a person is exposed to full spectrum lighting (as much natural light as possible).

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i have fell in love with a man who has agoraphobia and because of that he is paranoid and worry's and stresses out a lot, he finished with me even though i know he loves me and i love him devotedly through the compications of this illness his paranoia and the worrying about things i wouldn't have even thought twice about, he has told me he has got help before that didnt work and doent beleive it works either and said he's dealing with it himself but i dont think he is, he said ive not to help him because i cant and he'll do it himself and has apparently for 5yrs. i want to get him help. he is very stubborn and addiment he can do it himself but i dont think so, i need someone to help us x if he got the right help his life would be so much more and maybe i can keep the one i love x plz help us x thank u i am 21 female my partner or ex rather is 25 male x

Hi, i can completely empathize with you and your (ex)partners situation, I too have agoraphobia, i was completely housebound for years, it was only when i had a complete change of scenery and fell in love that i finally started to help myself and allow my self to be helped that i started to lead more of a normal life.

There's so much i could tell you and advise you but too much to write in here but if you PM me your email address we could have a proper chat on msn if thats ok? If not, we can email but chatting will be easier.

love Chakra x

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16/F I want to dress up as an anime character, but I'm not familiar with these characters. What do they wear and are there any pictures of an actual person displaying the clothing? Thank you!

This website has loads of Anime costumes, it shows the character and the actual clothing you can buy

http://anime.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=anime&cdn=entertainment&tm=8&gps=76_215_1276_791&f=00&su=p284.8.150.ip_&tt=3&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//www.cosplaymagic.com/

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