I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 49977
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Xenolan
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i have 2 dogs and they are both boys. they keep licking each other's tongues like they're making out and humping each other. the one always tries to mount the other. and to make it worse, they're brothers!!!! are my pets gay?? or from west virginia?? help what should i do? (link)
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I can't explain the licking each other's tongues. Dogs often lick each other's mouths. It's a social thing. They're grooming each other in that case.
Male dogs who mount other male dogs are doing it because of an instinct to dominate one another. They are acting out their desires to be the 'alpha dog' or the top male in a non-violent way. The one who's on bottom is signaling a willingness to be submissive to the other dog in other ways, such as allowing him to eat first, have the chew toy when he wants it, etc. It's all about the hierarchy. When you see them taking turns at top and bottom, it means they're both very sweet dogs who are both want to be dominant, but aren't going to fight over it. I would simply ignore that behavior.
Sabine
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oh god here it goes.
Well me and my boyfreind were just looking up what will happen if he cums in my butt when we have sex. And
1) it told us if you cum really deep in your ass will get bigger casue of the testorioin in his cum.
He tells me like Oh My god your butt is getting bigger i swear. I don't know if were like imagining it getting bigger casue we think thats whats spost to happen or is it acually getting bigger?
AND
2) We also read that You CAN get pregnant when he does that.. Witch i thought was weired. Is that true? AnD
3) the last time we did it it was on my period but it was still in my butt. It was like my last day on it. but yeah Again we read when your on your period you STILL can get pregnant. Is THAT true?
I don't know someone please help me? (link)
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OMG. Where are you reading this stuff?
1. There is a lot of testosterone in semen, but there's a lot of testosterone in your boyfriend. In addition, women's bodies make their own smaller supply of testosterone. What do you mean, it can make your butt get bigger? You mean dilate your colon or rectum? I don't think it can make the outward appearance of your butt bigger. If it did, your boyfriend should be able to shit a watermelon, right? I mean he has a LOT more testosterone in his body than you would get in yours. If you're talking about the anal sphincter being bigger, it is probably dilated due to relaxation of the muscular ring and possibly in response to your being turned on.
2. You're not very likely to get pregnant when you're having anal sex. The only way is if there's a small tear between your rectum and vagina. It's called a rectal-vaginal fissure. It's pretty rare and it's usually diagnosed either by women who have stools coming out of their vaginas or who keep having problems with bacterial infections of the vagina. A gynecologist can examine you to make sure you don't have a fissure. Other than that small exception, no, it's not possible, unless you do something like let him into your vagina after he's ejaculated in your anus or you wipe the fluids from your anus into your vagina with toilet paper.
3. Again, it's theoretically possible to get pregnant when you're bleeding, but it's not likely. Your period is the shedding of the lining of your uterus and it happens during your least fertile time. The egg is dead and expelled with the lining of the uterus. See, fertility is not an off-on proposition at this point in your life. There are times when your chance of conceiving are close to 0%, but you won't know exactly when those are. Then there are days when it's going to be 50% and close to 100%. And since sperm can wait in your vagina for a few days for a chance to fertilize the egg, it's tough to know exactly when your chances are high for getting pregnant. But, in general, your chances are so low for getting pregnant while you're on your period and with anal sex, that I'd be absolutely astounded if I found at that such a thing had ever really happened at any time in any place to any person. But weird things have happend. A virgin woman got pregnant in World War II, when a bullet hit a soldier in the testes and continued on to the ovary of a nearby woman, or so the story goes.
Here are things you should really worry about with anal sex: You can get an injury. You can get a tear in the lining of your rectum. You can get bacterial infections. You can get sexually transmitted infections, and you're far more likely to get them through anal than you are through oral or vaginal sex. Your partner can get bacteria in his urethra and it can give him a bladder infection. You can get HIV much easier through anal, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
Good luck.
Sabine
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I'm on the oral contreceptive pill, I think I've only had to take two in one go this cycle about 10 days ago (which I've done before on previous cycles sometimes more often), im on the third week of tablets and I think I've already started my period! It's light brown stuff but I don't usually start my period until 3 days after I finish the tablets!!should I be worried?? why do you think its come really early ive been on the pill for nearly a year and a half and this has never happened before! what should I do? (link)
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1. You should not freak out.
2. You should call your gynecologist's office on Monday morning.
I'm thinking they will likely reassure you that it's fine. The pill combines with the hormones your body is making already. Your natural hormones have their fluctuations and it's possible that you experienced a drop in one hormone or a surge in another causing an imbalance, which lead to the bleeding. Another possibility is that the pill may have failed and you are either pregnant or miscarrying, but that's pretty unlikely. The last possibility I see is that you may have an infection (though one would normally see bright red blood, not brown), but you don't mention pain, itchiness, bad smell, or other symptoms of a vaginal infection.
Are you having other symptoms of your period? Did you go through PMS last week or have a breakout?
Whatever it is, you probably won't be able to find out right now or fix it right now, so try not to worry about it until Monday morning. Wear a pantyliner and have a good weekend.
Sabine
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I have an uncle, who's kind of on the "outside" of society. It's weird, but think of it as a person who's on the outside in highschool, it's kind of like that. He doesn't have good chances of getting a job, or being heard/seen at all so he doesn't really have a chance to get himself a good self-image either.. i want to help him, or atleast give him advice when he taölks about this with me, cause all i can do when he tells me how he feels is cry.. it's awful, he's seriously on the OUTSIDE of society, y'all know how that feels in highschool, being left out, imagine living your whole life lika that. I'm trying to convince him that HE needs to take a step towards getting himself out of his situation, but it's not easy - what do I say when he asks "how? what do i do to get myself out?" i dont know, IS there anything he can do? (link)
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Okay, please don't rate, but will you please tell me a little more about WHY your uncle is outside of society? Is he mentally ill? Unattractive with no prospects of improvement? Just nerdy? Unskilled? Uneducated? Just completely lacks social skills? What was his upbringing like? What makes him different from his sibling who's your parent? What is it that keeps him outside society? Only when I know those things can I start to give advice on what to do to bring him around.
Sabine
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when my boyfriend fingered me for the first couple of times, he was kind of rough. to the point where it wasn't pleasurable.. i tried to deal with it, but eventually gave him the hint to take it down a notch. my problem is this: after all those times he was kinda rough with me, it seems like the skin/blood vessels on my bigger lips are unproportional or out of whack. it doesn't hurt but it definitely looks a lot different than before. i feel kind of like "down there" is now ugly looking cause it's been roughed around too much or something.. is this possible? will it ever be back to normal? (it's been like this for 5-6 months) (link)
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Wow. Well, I've worked with gynecologists and I know that women's labia (lips) change shapes over the course of time. When we're children, they're symetrical and smooth. When we're going through puberty, they change and may grow and one may grow more than another at a given time. The shape and size of the labia change in response to sex hormones which your ovaries and pituitary gland are just now starting to produce.
I have never heard of rough sexual acts causing disfigurement like that, but the best way to find out is to ask a doctor. Perhaps at your next checkup, you can ask the doctor for alone time for private questions - many will insist on speaking with you without your parent - and ask him if this can happen.
I think it's likely that the hormones in your body are causing the change and your labia will change all of your life. When we're old, they lose a lot of their fat (due to loss of estrogens), and become wrinkly. Change is normal.
Sabine
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ok im almost 18 and when i was younger i experminted i was like 6or7 at the time it was like 10 or more years ago and the kid i experimented with was like 8or9 only like 2 years older than i am and i havent done anything since than nothings been in there fingers or nothing and i want to know can i still consider myself a virgin it happened so long ago and do you think that ill be tight still i dont even remeber if it fully went in or not i mean he was only like 9 how big can it be so will i still be tight like a virgin please help and i just want to know am i or not and will i be tight will the guys suspect please help will the guys be able to tell
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Well, the answer of whether or not you can consider yourself a virgin is an interesting one. You can and should consider yourself a virgin if you feel you have honestly never had sexual intercourse with another person. Some people think that technically, lesbians who have not been with men are virgins. I think they are not. I think the term 'virgin' is sort of silly, since it means different things to different people. However, what happened when you were younger was more like sexual acting out. You did not know what you were doing at the time and likely had no sexual feelings, you were just trying out the anatomy. I don't even know whether this was or could have been consensual, however, I would not consider it sex. It may have been sexual abuse or acting out.
I think you will be tight and I don't think that guys will be able to tell. If the one you choose as your first real sexual partner says anything about the lack of blood on the sheets, because you could have broken your hymen during the acts with the boy or during any of several other possible activities, you can simply tell him that many virgins do not have intact hymens due to tampon usage, horseback riding, rough play, etc. I would simply pretend that I were a virgin without a doubt. He probably won't even bring it up. And you may have an intact hymen. Who knows? You may bleed.
So I guess the short answer is that I think you are a virgin still and I don't think anyone will be able to tell otherwise. Don't allow them to think there's any reason for doubt and you will likely never be questioned about it.
Sabine
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hi there =]
ok, so before i ask my gueston, i saw that you are a docter of some sort.
cause i need to ask a question about factor 11 blood clotting disorder (i have it) and i was wondering if you know alot about it?
i know about it but, i want to get my nose pierced.
what are the risks of me getting it done with my disorder.
i tryed google
nothing
my mom thinks im like gunna blead to death haha
i dont have it super bad.
but so that my mom feels better about me getting it done i gotta do some reaserch about factor11
i dont think it will affect anyhting i mean its only a piersing, im not choping off my arm you know?
well thanx in advance and srry for it being a lil long
i understnd if you dont know the answer to my question =]
--ashley (link)
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Hi, Ashley.
First of all, please allow me to dispell the myth. I'm not a doctor. I was a nurse and am now far more often a patient than I would like. Which explains why I didn't get back with you right away. I went to the hospital for a procedure Monday morning and got an infection and had to stay until just earlier this evening.
But I do know an awful lot for someone who's never been to medical school, and what I don't know I can look up. I looked up Factor XI deficiency. It's great that your case is so mild and your mother's anxiety may be based upon her own experiences with bleeding and transfusions, etc.
It seems to me that your biggest risks of getting pierced with Factor XI are bleeding (obviously) and infection (as the wound won't heal as quickly or easily and will let germs in for a longer period of time). Here is what I would suggest:
Do you have a hematologist? You could ask to make an appointment with the hematologist and see if s/he will either do the piercing for you or approve for it to be done. See, when I worked for doctors, we'd repierce ears a few times a year. The doctor just uses a sterile needle and then puts in appropriate piercing jewelry. If your doctor agreed to do the piercing in the office, then you'd know that any bleeding could be controlled and your mother's mind might be set at ease. I think it never hurts to ask. I think, also, that any responsible piercing place would ask you if you had any bleeding disorders and if you answered yes they would refuse to pierce you. I don't see how old you are now, but after you're 18, of course, there's no stopping you. I would defintely not suggest that you get a friend to do it for you. That can lead to mistakes, bleeding, ugly scarring, and ex-friendships and your mom would likely go completely ballistic.
I know they're kind of fake and everything, but would one of those magnetic sets that doesn't actually pierce satisfy your craving for nose jewelry? I think you can get them at Hot Topic or Claire's.
Best of luck and please let me know what happens.
Sabine
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So my bf fingered me and have me oral...
My question is, i don't know if i had an organism or not? There wasn't a time that it felt really really good, and if it would feel good it was for like one second then stop
Also I heard that if you rub ur clift it will make a big differences, he said that he couldn't fine/see mine...and i have no idea what i'm really looking for, can someone help?
And how come it didn't feel good, && please don't tell me to feel myself for what feels good and what dosn't (link)
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Okay, take a look at this link and it will show you where exactly to find your clitoris. It's near the front of your genitals, just behind where the labia majora start. It's covered in a little skin and when you pull the skin back, there's a little nub which is basically a nerve root.
As far as why fingering doesn't make you orgasm, it could be a number of things. Not all of us can orgasm from vaginal stimulation only. Also, maybe you need more stimulation or maybe you're too tired or maybe you aren't turned on enough. There's no way to say exactly why. Just think about what you believe the reason is. Maybe you've just been too nervous.
Sabine
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what is menapause? sorry i didnt know what category to put this under cause i have no clue what it is. (link)
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You can just google it. But here's a link:
http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/menopaus.htm
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does the fat in a food make you fat? or do the calories or carbs? sorry this is a stupid question, but i'm confused lol. (link)
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Okay, you need three kinds of nutrients. You need fats. Your brain is made up almost entirely out of cholesterol. Your body even manufactures some cholesterol. Without fat, you can't keep warm, your skin gets dry, and eventually you die. You also need protein. Protein is the building block of cells. It helps your body repair cells and build new ones. You need carbs. Those are converted into A.T.P., which is the form of energy your cells use. There are the simple sugars, which your body must use quickly or store quickly and the complex carbs, like whole grain bread, which provides a more long-term source of energy. Excess protein is filtered out through the kidneys, but extra fats can be absorbed and stored in your body and extra carbs can be converted into fat and stored in your body.
What makes anyone fat is getting more calories through any source than she can burn off. Calories are a measure of energy that the food provides the body and if you take in 3000 calories in a day and expend only 2000, then you will gain weight. If you take in only 1000 calories and expend 2000 per day, you will lose weight. Some carbs are worse for you because they are more likely to be converted into fat stores than others. Those include the quick-energy short-chain carbs, such as candy. With fats, there are some that your body needs, such as the Omega-3 fatty acids found in fish and some that your body doesn't need more of, like those found in Cheetos.
The best plan is to get the correct amount of carbs, which are found in grains, veggies, fruits, and sugars, the correct amount of fats, and the right kinds - no transfats or hydrogenated fats, and plenty of lean protein. Lean protein builds muscle which increases your body's ability to burn energy provided by the fats and carbs.
What makes people fat is taking in more calories than they burn. You could eat 1500 calories per day of chocolate and not gain and ounce if that's all you ate and you also burned 1500 calories per day. That being said, you would also have problems with your immune system, your energy level, your muscles not getting the right things, and your health would be a mess because you'd be lacking nutrients, so it's not all about the calories. You need a balanced diet so you get in all the things you need and no extra calories.
Sabine
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welll i just got my hair cut. and the lady didn`t layer it how i wanted. is there any ways that i can layer it myself. that are fast and easy ? (link)
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I'm not big on cutting my own hair. What I'd do is go back to the salon with your receipt and tell them you didn't get exactly what you wanted and you'd like the lady to fix it. See if you can find pictures of exactly what you want to show the stylist. Tip her again if she does it well, but you shouldn't have to pay if it's within the salon's 'guarantee' period.
Sabine
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So ive had a few grlfriends over the years, and i feel like each one has taught me something diffrent about what i like and dont like about relationships.
But what i can't figure out is,
why do i always get broken up with?
Im a good boyfriend!! I remember dates, i bring them flowers, i call to see how theyre doing, i do my absolute best. i really do. but they always end up breaking up with ME! i dont know whats wrong with me!
Like my last one, broke up with me RIGHT after i told her happy one month and gave her a ring. right after to my face! am i ugly or something? i dont think so. i like to think im fairly good looking.
this is probably just me rambling and ranting but id like some advice as to what i should do diffrently :)
thanks (link)
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Well, here are a couple of things to think about:
1) Were you smothering? Were you killing them with kindness?
2) You're only 16 (which I can see because I have a special account). You are going to date girls and it won't work out for a while, likely. Relationships at that age are rarely great for the long-term because teenagers are, by necessity, busy and they're learning the things they need to know for life. They are self-centered because of the pressure to develop into successful human beings, so they tend to think of their goals. Most relationships at that age are more temporary. Or they are just for show.
You'll learn as you grow older the difference between being attentive and being annoying and you'll begin to understand whether a relationship broke up because of you or because of the girls you're attracted to. I hope the last girl, who broke up with you, gave you the ring back. That's very insensitive.
Sabine
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Ok well I have no idea about make up and I'm thinking of wearing it on my friend's wedding next month. I always beleived in natural beauty but since it's my friend's special day I want to look special just to not wreck anything.
Ok Well first thing, the make up is 2 years old but never opened before. Will it give any bad look effects? Will it be okay to use?
There's some stuff in the kit that I have no idea what they are and what they are used for or used with. The words listed in brackets are the ones that I know.
The ones that aren't, could you list what it is possibly, what it's used for, what it's used with maybe, and maybe how to use it if I don't know?:
Ok first drawer:
-Um these small circle boxes and the stuff are coloured dark blue, light pink, red, orange, purple, light orange or peach, black, and brown. Are they eye shadow?
Second drawer:
-(Lip stick)
-(Mascara)
-(Lip Gloss)
-(Nail Polish)
-a small sharpener like for pencils, what in the world is that for?!
-And a pretty big brush, what's the used for and what is it used with?
Third and last drawer:
-Eye Liner, it says. No idea what you use for though I have a clue since it says EYE.
- A TINY brush
- 6 tiny little brushes but the brush isnt' like hair it's like soft material and white and looks like a heart shaped.
-A brush that's big and is wide but it's really flat. =S
- And three circled containers that are bigger then the ones for I think eye shadow. They're Pink, light pink, and some ugly red and brown mixed. Blush?
And I haven't opened any of them as I said so when I lifted one set to remove the clear plastic stuff there's a packet at the bottom that says DO NOT EAT! SILICAGEL! What's that and what's that used for?
I know it's long and I'm really sorry but if you answer everything I asked for, I'm pretty sure you know what your rate is oging to be. Thank you so much! (link)
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I agree with most of the answers you got. The silica gel packet is there to keep moisture away from the makeup. It can cause the makeup to cake more solidly, causing problems putting it on.
If you don't often use makeup, I would not throw this stuff away and buy new. I would shake liquid makeup well and test it on the inside of my elbow to see if it will cause a reaction on the skin and whether the color will blend and will match.
I think that in the first drawer you have eyeshadows and eyeliner. The black, brown, and the dark blue may possibly be wetted with some water and used with the tiny brush to line your eye. The sharpener is for pencil eyeliner and lip liners. The biggest brush is probably for powder, which you use last to set your foundation (liquid makeup, if you use it). The tiny brush is likely for lip or eye liner. The ones with the material are eyeshaddow applicators. The flat brush is probably for blush and the three circle containers are likely blush, maybe the lightest is powder, and bronzer (to give a sun-kissed look, it's applied wherever the sun would hit your face, like on the nose, forehead, chin, cheekbones).
Here's what I'd suggest, though. Do you have a girly friend who can help you put this on? If she can apply it to you while you are watching in the mirror, this would be great. Two other ideas are to go to a department store and go to any makeup counter (Lancome is my favorite) and ask the lady to help you. You may wish to purchase something. You may want to look for the place offering the "free gift with purchase" so you can get new makeup and it might be in the shades the lady uses on you. Then there's the option of finding the local Mary Kay/Avon lady to show you how to do it. She can provide you with samples. Of course, though, they are trying to make a sale, so you should try to make it worth their time by purchasing at least something.
Good luck and I hope you have fun at your friend's wedding.
Sabine
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this is most likely in the wrong category, sorry.
13/f
alright so i have like a lot of redness around my nose. it won't go away. it's been there for over a year. i have tried EVERYTHING. acne wash, hydrocortizone cream, washing it, lotion, everything. it will not go away! i have to put cover-up around my nose everyday & by the middle of the day, it's visible again. i don't know what it is. i don't think it's acne because there's no like zits on it. but it's really embarassing. here's a couple of pictures of me. look around my nose. you'll see it.
http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u173/xlaura054/me.jpg
http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u173/xlaura054/meeeeeeeeeeee.jpg
http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u173/xlaura054/iamsexy.jpg
please, does anyone know what will make it go away forever? thank you sooooo much.
(link)
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I think you've been on the right track with the things you've tried, esp the cortisone cream. You have fair skin and fair skin is usually very sensitive, so I'd guess that all the stuff you're putting on might not be helping. The acne cream probably made things worse because it dried the skin out. I don't think it's acne that's the problem.
Seeing a derm as the other user suggested is probably a good idea. I would also try using a cleanser (not soap) that's hypoallergenic, non-scented, and non-colored and don't scrub around your nose. Really, though, what it looks like to me is that you maybe blow your nose a lot. Is it possible you have allergies and that's why your nose is red? I'd see a dermatologist, if you can, just to be sure what to do.
Sabine
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Can anyone here explain this to me?
If somebody kills a pregnant woman, then why would they ever be charged for two murders, instead of one? It seems to be in conflict with laws that permit an abortion. A woman can legally choose whether or not the baby can grow, develop, and live within her. If somebody makes that same choice by killing the mother, then wouldn't it make sense that only murder was made, not two? I'm not arguing for or against abortion, but rather don't see how these two laws can remain in effect when they contradict each other. Any information would be helpful, thank you.
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My understanding, actually, is that double murder charges do not apply until the point at which the baby is considered 'viable', meaning that the baby could theoretically survive outside the womb. Any baby born at 25 weeks' gestation would have a very difficult time and would likely need life support, but the chance of survival is measurable. They could live. The youngest surviving baby born was born at 22 weeks gestation, I think, but that's happened once. So if a person kills a pregnant woman who is less than a certain date (I think it's 24 weeks gestation and less), the baby is not considered a separate murder because it died as a result of the mother's death and there was really little to no way to save the baby once the mother died. After the point of viability (and understand, the date is really a fluid thing - medical science is saving younger and younger babies and yet not all babies who are even full-term will be born alive or survive) it's considered two murders because the murderer could have killed the mother and then delivered the fetus caesarean section, so the baby didn't have to die just because the mother did. Also, at that point, one should almost always be able to definitely tell that a woman is pregnant. There should be no defense of 'murder requires intent and I didn't know she was pregnant, so you can't prove I intended to murder the baby.'
Really, regarding abortion, you will find that almost everyone who wants an abortion has one before 12 weeks. There are only a few clinics in the US that will do preg termination after 12 weeks. About 14-16 weeks, neurons are migrating and the baby's brain is developing, the baby starts moving, etc. At 20 weeks, the gender is usually discernable by ultrasound. A baby in a uterus already has some personality characteristics - it gets hiccups and it kicks or floats or swims. It may react differently to different sounds. You can usually feel it somewhere between 14 and 20 weeks. There are very few women who, having felt the baby move, would at that point chose to abort it. The only time I know of that a doctor would abort that late is to save the life of the mother or to prevent the birth of a severely disabled child (like one who did not develop a brain). By the time a woman is six months pregnant, she usually is quite at peace with her pregnancy and is not having any thoughts about aborting - for one thing, it's very dangerous for the mother to wait that long. In all likelihood, she's rather anticipating the birth, even if she decides to give the child up for adoption.
I hope that helps sort out why in the eyes of the law, it's a fetus one week and a baby with separate rights the next week.
Sabine
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Someone told me that a girl can only get pregnant for a certain number of days a month. Is this true? How long after your last period can you get pregnant? Can someone explain this to me? Thanks (link)
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It's actually not true that you can get pregnant at any time. The thing is that people act like that because no one knows for sure when they're slightly fertile and not at all fertile.
Here's a fertility calculator you can use to see when you're most likely to be fertile:
http://www.askdramy.com/ovulationcalc.html
In order for you to get pregnant, you must have a thick, blood-rich uterine lining (which is very thin right after your period), a mature egg which has been released from your ovary, which usually happens about 14 days after the start of your previous period, and live, vigorous sperm. The sperm can survive in your uterus for a few days, waiting for the egg to be released, so you should know that you can get pregnant even if you don't have sex after you've ovulated. There's no "on-off" switch for fertility. It's something that goes from not fertile to a tiny bit fertile, and increases gradually up to very fertile. Since each human body is different, there's no way to know for sure when you will be fertile. There could be a hormone mix-up and your ovary could ripen and release two eggs in one month. That results in fraternal twins. There could also be a problem where your uterus doesn't have the right nutrients to grow a baby, so you could be unable to get pregnant even though you have ovulated.
Anyway, if you don't want to get pregnant, use birth control every time (two forms are even better!) or remain abstinent. You can't count on your body to be reliable if there's so much at stake.
Sabine
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Sorry I'm not sure how you spell it but either Hodgkinsons or Hodgkins disease. Can someone tell me what that is and what the symptoms are?
I have a sore lump in my armpit which has been there for 3 days now. I'm absolutely petrified of telling someone coz I don't want to go to the doctors.
thanks (link)
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Here's info on Hodgkin's Lymphoma:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hodgkin's_disease
Usually, lymph nodes in Hodgkin's start out swollen but not sore until the disease is advanced. More likely, you have a blockage of the lymph fluids, a pimple, or some other small problem that's causing the raised lymph node. It also could be a cyst in your armpit, which is benign, or it could be an infected sweat gland or hair follicle.
I think you should tell someone if you get a fever, if it remains there for more than 7 days, or if it starts to get bigger, sore, or red. The likelihood that this is lymphoma, Hodgkin's or non-Hodgkin's, is very small.
Sabine
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sabine, i have noticed that you give very thorough, specific answers that really hit the spot. so that is why i am asking you, specifically, a question.
14 / f / 8th grade
i have a friend, "bob." i asked bob for his screen name a while back because i thought he was friends with my crush, "sam." however, this does not seem to be the case because bob told me that sam "bullies" him. but i always see them talking, so i highly doubt that's true. so bob and i continued talking although bob was unable to hook me up with sam. that was fine. but then, bob started liking me. now, i was a bit confused because i told bob that i liked SOMEONE (and i was clear that it was not him - i named a class that i have with sam and not bob). so then, bob told me he liked me. and i didn't really know why. because why would you tell your crush that you like them when you know they like someone else, let alone like you?
anyway, so now bob is getting kind of clingy. i have cut down a bit on the communication, but i still really want to be with sam. however, some of the people on this site have suggested that i simply tell him... not gonna happen. sam MIGHT like me, but maybe he's just being friendly cause i flirt with him so much. i do small talk-(his finger is bandaged) "oh, what happened to your finger?" - "where are the science books?" etc. i even maneuvered my way into sitting next to him at an assembly we had. i think he might be getting suspicious. well, he is a social class under me, so i do have a chance.
do you have any advice on both of these situations? (link)
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Hi.
First, thank you for your wonderful compliments! It feels good to know that someone is reading and enjoying my advice. I appreciate it.
I think that the reason why Bob told you that he likes you even after you said you liked someone else was that he was hoping you would say you liked him too. That maybe you'd see that the guy you could easily have was better than the one you admire from a distance. I think it's time to let Bob know that he's a great friend but you don't feel 'that way' about him and never will because you really like another guy. You could say he's not your type because you are more into guys with _________ (like musical talent, love of horses, whatever you find attractive in a man that Bob lacks). Hopefully, he won't try to change himself to be someone you would like. If you told Bob it was Sam, he might be hurt because if he feels he's being bullied by Sam, it might feel to him that you are more attracted to someone who's a bully than someone who's kind (or however Bob sees himself).
Sometimes, especially in jr. high/high school, guys will fixate on a girl even if they know they can't have her. It's just how they are.
So, regarding Sam, if you're not going to tell him that you like him, all you can do is just keep flirting with him and showing him attention. Either he'll get it or he won't. I wouldn't have a friend tell him for you or anything like that - it's juvenile and could backfire. One thing you could do is ask him if he has a crush on anyone, if you have him alone sometime. You might find he has a crush on someone else and then find you're in Bob's position. :(
Whatever happens, take care, and thanks for trusting me to answer your question.
Sabine
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I'm almost 20, I'm living on my own and I don't have health insurance. I have many reasons to believe I could have melanoma (skin cancer.) For the past several months I have been stressing and worrying about it. And the only way to calm my nerves is to go to the doctor to get checked out. Unfortunately, I don't have the money to get health insurance or to pay out of pocket (for the visits and tests they may need me to take). I have a good job, except that it doesn't offer medical insurance. And switching jobs is out of the question (I am in a position and time where I really can't.) Is there anything I can do to see a doctor without paying so much? (link)
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First of all, do this: Get a couple hundred dollars together and go see a dermatologist. Explain your concerns and your financial situation. If you have a good job, $200 should be easy to come up with in a month if you avoid unnecessary spending. With one look, the dermatologist could set your mind at ease. Or he could recommend more testing. You may be eligible for sliding-scale fees at your local university hospital.
When you can, you should apply for high-deductible insurance. There is also a plan by Humana that cost us $80/mo for our daughter a few years ago, in which you get 4 visits per year for a $25 copay without having to pay the deductible.
You should examine your finances as well. If you have to have insurance to pay for a potentially deadly problem, then you make a way to pay for it. Does that mean driving an older car, changing living arrangements, eating cold cut sandwiches rather than going out, skipping the clubs, etc.? Have you purchased any clothes this month? You may be saying you can't afford $150 per month for health insurance. If you can't, then either you don't have as good a job as you thought or your spending priorities are not in balance with your concerns.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I've been there and done that. And, just so you know, if you have to get treatment, work out something with the hospital/clinic. If you don't pay your medical bills, you could have to declare bankruptcy, but they can't eat you for lunch. It's better to be bankrupt than dead at age 19.
Sabine
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today i ate
breakfast - 2 eggs and a heart healthy cereal with skim milk (and a multivitamin)
lunch - an apple, a handful or 2 of baby carrots, and a pack of 4 little peanut butter cracker sandwich things with water
dinner - a chicken cutlet and half a baked potato, and a spinach salad with milk
so i thought that was good for being healthier right? is it or am i missing a lot?
also the problem is after dinner i feel hungry still for a while, but i dont have any specific craving, i just want food. i dont actually feel HUNGRY though. what can i eat to fill me up but not be too many calories or anything?
thanks (link)
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Those are good choices as long as you're not adding things, like cheese, sour cream, and butter to the potato, bacon grease dressing to the spinich salad, etc. The peanut butter is okay, but too much peanut butter is fatty. It's a good diet.
So after dinner, if you're still not satisfied, you can eat another apple, as those are really good for us and full of fiber, or something like air-popped popcorn or rice cakes. Those things will satisfy your need to munch without giving you too many calories and fat grams.
Sounds like you're on the right track.
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