dirtyfryBG31MTB's advice column

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thecollinator92

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cmccabe92

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January 25, 2006

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December 28, 2008

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about

i'm collin
hello to all of you who need advice (or perhaps would just like to say hi).

(that's where you say "hi collin!" but you don't have to because it might scare the people around you)

i'm a musician. i play bass, violin, mandolin, keyboards, guitars, drums, harmonica, xylophone, and just about everything else. i also sing lead for my band, the dirty fries, in st. louis, missouri.

my advice may be blunt sometimes, but you all will have to deal with it. i speak the truth, and the truth isn't always pretty.

i'll answer anything, too. as long as it's not something really idiotic like "OMG what color shirt should i wear tonight?!" because i don't answer that kind of crap. i'm a strong believer in there being no stupid questions, but honestly, those are not the sort of questions that should be posted on this website. plain and simple.

ask away
-collin

p.s. - anyone wondering where the numbers/letters in my username come from: they're the model number of my acoustic bass guitar.

advice

To put it simply.. my so-called close friend pretty much screwed my guy and lied blatantly to my face about it.

So this girl is what most people would call a 'sexual predator' (my friends' term). She apparently has gone after every single guy i've liked or like since i've known her, which was just this year. At the beginning of the school year, after she found out i like a guy in her trombone section, she started flirting with him nonstop. That ended after a while and i had this whole unofficial relationship with one of my guy friends that i didnt tell her about. Senior Prom came after that and after she saw who i went with, she kept her on him. The week after prom, she started hanging all over him and flirting with him heavily and nonstop. Am i just being paranoid?

Well let's see, two weeks after that.. she FINALLY found out about how i was unofficially dating one of my guy friends. That same week, she started flirting with HIM nonstop and getting all over him. She then decided she liked him and proceeded to tell him so. But to me, she told me that she just told him that she thought she liked him but she really didnt and that they didn't do anything because he didn't care. I already knew she was lying then, but i didn't know to what extent. Then last night, one of my closest guy friends who was also close friends with the guy, told me that she had gotten farther than me with him. wait. what?

So apparently this girl had been acting all normal around me and acting like a 'great' friend (not that i really trusted her anymore) while she was secretly releasing her sexual frustrations on him and same with him on her. I mean, just last night she texted me to hang out. Like hell im going to hang out with her anymore. It makes me cringe just to think about all the lies and crap shes been doing behind my back. What kind of 'good' friend does that to you?

So my final question is.. what do i do? Some of my friends want me to chew her out, confront her with all the horrible things she's done to me (besides trying to take my guys.. also take my friends). Most of my friends already don't like her because truth be told she is a complete b*tch and she knows it but doesnt care. She's violent, shes mean, she's a liar and shes hella easy if you know what i mean. So with graduation approaching in about 5 days, should i just let things go and pretend it never happened once summer starts? Because i will probably end up seeing both her and the guy over the summer. Or should i b*tch her out before leaving because i probably wont see her ever again after i go to college on the other side of the USA? I'm not a very confrontational or loud person, but this girl has seriously made my life a complete mess.. some serious advice please?

ok long questions get long answers, so here goes nothing.

if i were in your situation, i would have confronted her quite some time ago, but i'm a very open person about the way i feel about things and i can tell (and you also said that) you're not.

at this point, there's not too much you can do. she definitely needs to be confronted about it. what she's doing isn't right, and no one deserves to have to deal with that. honestly, i don't know a lot of guys who, if they knew all of this, would do anything with her, because they would think she would ditch them immediately.

let other people know about this situation. tell your friends. tell guys you know. don't make it seem like you're obsessed, but let them know what she did to you.

don't do anything too drastic though. don't go telling everyone she's a slut or anything. now i'm not saying she isn't, especially after reading all of this, but doing that is almost as bad as what she's doing to you. it's slandering her reputation, and that's terrible.

i hope this helps