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15

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thenotsogr8mandi

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October 6, 2004

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Last Update:

August 21, 2005

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about

hey, i'm mandie but umm..this is my advice column (obviously) and don't feel stupid to ask ANYTHING b/c i'll never know who you are unless you sign your name *cough* jack *cough* haha..!

A little MORE about me: ((ehh..don't get TOO excited!))
name: mandie michelle funk
age: 15
sex: female
location: texas
birthday: april 11
relationships: confused beyond reasoning
hair: dirty blonde?
eyes: blue or green
height: 5'4"
occupation: student @ jersey village hs
hobbies: tan, jet ski, sing, dance, listen to music.
things that rock my socks: emo music, jordan, guys, TRISTAN

advice

hey mandie....reading some of ur other advice i see ur pretty good @ it. ok heres my problem...i have trouble trusting my b/f. i love him so incredibley much and would die for this boy but i cant trust him. the irony to this is we have broken up multipal times b/c i cheated on him. im not sure if its b/ im scared he will do the same thing to me as i did him but iuno...plz help me figure out how to trust him....thank u..much love...

okay..first off, cheating is just wrong. i know some people are thinking "oh, how would mandie know? she broke allan's heart!" but the thing is..it hurts the guy WORSE than if you were to just brake up with him.

now this trust issue thing, i struggle on that too with certain people. but my advice for that is to NOT date him (for now!) and take a step back, and be friends..NOT friends with benefits b/c that doesn't introduce to anything new...but if you stay friends for like 2 or 3 weeks, you see how he works and what kinda guy he really is. THEN, start taking it a few steps at a time and try and re-develop feelings and just put faith in him that he wont hurt you.

i'm not sure is he has ever cheated on you..but if he hasn't then what makes you think he would start?

I don't know what to do, it seems like im addicted to the computer and talkin to people i don't know. Is that wrong? What would happen if i started talkin to you, would you want to meet up with me?

you like to meet people online?

its called dating...REAL people who go to your schools, office, work whatever!?

no..i'm not a "cyber hook-up" kinda person..therefore, i wouldn't meet up with you..but i'd talk to you :)

ok so there's this guy i've known for a long time..we know each other in and out and recently i found out he had feelings for me..and i have always had some feelings for him since i met him but since im older now theyre alot stronger. so once i was brave enough to ask him about it, it worked in my favor with me finding out that he actually liked me back which every girl loves to hear! but the problem is..he has a gf and has had a gf since this summer but the way he talks to me isnt at all as if he had one..but im not the kinda girl to help a guy "cheat" even tho he wouldnt but he actually is in a way cheating on his gf even tho i dont see him but i just need help on what to do..like should i keep liking him and wait however long it takes for him and his gf to dissolve or should i let go and move on even tho there's something there? but you see i think they just had an issue in their relationship but then when theyre all into each other i cant do anything but sit back and watch and just watch my heart break

hmmmmm..thats hard.

Well...first off are him and his gf like having problems? if so then sooner or later thier gonna "dissolve"...and that will be one of your best days b/c if you talk to him, he'll open up to you and then is a perfect time for you to hit him with the whole "i've got feelings for you" thing.

if his gf and him are not having troubles...then i guess you need to just try and get over him (as hard as that is...) and RESPECT THAT HE IS HAPPY.

Just give it all time, don't rush into things and DO NOT try to get them apart b/c even if you work out a flawless plan...the secrets will come out!

and about "even tho he wouldnt but he actually is in a way cheating on his gf even tho i dont see him" i would just kinda not encourage those types of things and if he doesn't stop after a period of time..then you need to just tell his gf about it...she wont hate you, i swear, but something needs to be done about that.

i hope this advice is good for you. :)

ok, so i have been friends w/a guy for almost 4 years, and i've liked him almost 3 years....in 9th grade we almost both liked each other, but neither one of us had enough balls to say anything about it to anyone else, so it was a waste....then, my 10th grade yr,he told me he had a bf....and my life was shattered in 928374 million pieces....but i just kept all that inside and supported him, no matter what
anyways, almost 1 yr after he told me he was gay *11th grade* ((current grade)), i'm still madly in love w/this guy, and we're like best friends and all, but i know i could never be more than a best gf to him...and it's keeping me from getting a bf...cause i can't think straight...anyways, only reason i'm posting this is for the other people who feel the same way: this is for yall, so yall don't end up like me...anyways, what should i do, since i'm in love w/a boy who's not interested in girls, and i can't seem to find a different boyfriend.... thanks so much

well awkward girl..i have a friend going through this too..so yea! Well, first off, this is kinda a win/lose situtation..b/c you can't really turn someone straight..i think..i mean if this has been his lifestyle for over a year..its REALLY hard to change. But the thing you gotta keep positive that..your still really good friends, right? Well then get him to hook you up with one of his friends whos interested in girls..and spread yourself out a little more b/c if all your seen with are gay guys..then they myte start to think "dyke" but thats a WHOLE nother issue..but just..keep an open mind..and date whoever comes along (sounds bad..but it'll work) once ppl see you in the mainstream dating thing..few words for the wise: People want..what they can't have..hope i hepled..or just rambled on a bunch! :)

what happens when the advice giver...needs advice?

but doesn't know who to turn to..feels that she has already talked this guy's ear off..and everyone else will give her advice on how to get out of it..but what if she wants in it? what do i do then?

any adivce for me?

Okay, well me and my boyfriend are going through one of those rough spots in our dating situation. We are on what he calls it a "brake". Then today his friend text messaged me and told me that the brake was gonna end and that he was going to brake up with me whenever we go to the movies this Thanksgiving holiday. I don't know what to do! I love him with all my heart and i wouldn't know what to do! Mandie, i need your help. Please be able to help me!

well..first off i know how you feel..BELIEVE ME! and second off there is really nothing you can do to prevent these things..i guess boys are just made like that..they get bored with you (or at least fed up) and then they think the only way out is to leave...but just accept whatever happens and if he does brake up with you in the end..then GET OVER HIM!! try not to stay too much in the past..but if he shows signs of getting back together with you..talk to him about it b/c then he'll know wether hes leading you on or not..but keep a positive outlook on this..its gonna hurt really bad..and theres not alot you can do..but try not to get hurt too bad..and thats from personal experience..hope i helped a little.. :)

is there something wrong with f'ing your girlfriend (or boyfriend) in somewhere BESIDES in a house, or w.e...like i mean come on, my friends have to me about SEEING PPL in the halls doin it...so what could be wrong with tryin to get a little more excitement into it..ya know?..cause ya..thats just how it rolz..gettin caught...thaz some kinkay shyt...n trust me..i know kinky..its like my middle name..only not..

there is NOTHING wrong with any form a PDA..if it gets yah going..have funn with it! she'll like it too..but maybe not as much as you!!

okay...being this is anonamous..i can be real honset. I'm not like GAY but i'm down with goin both ways right? Like i'm not sayin i would suck dick, but if there was a chick and a dude and they were lookin for another dude..i would be down for whatever..how do you get this out to your friends without..like..being weird? Its confusing to try and figure out how to tell them you are down for whatever...without being called gay. Like many of my xgirlfriends are like most i know and wouldnt mind gettin f'd by two guys, and i dont know how to like get across to them.."hey w.e gets you on babe!" does this make sense?..can you help me?

hmmmm...hats off to yah...takes a big ol' man to admit he actually will have a threesome with another guy..b/c ur not gay if ur in a threesome and most guys think thats the case..but its not..i'm not sure how to get the message across to ppl b/c you know..i'm a girl..and guys think its hot if i'll have a threesome w/ another girl..and yea..but iuno...i hope i was SOME help to yah..

okay..me and this guy are supposed to be like freinds with benefits..like we both want to be it and stuff..but whenever we hang out i freeze cause i liked him for like 6 years..and i hate like throwing myself at a guy cuz im not like that kind of girl..so i wanted to know like what sort of things could i do to get him to make the first move..and like what could i do to let him no i wanna do it..or how could i make the first move..like should i hold his hand or what? thanks so much.xoxo

well...have you and this guy like actually talked about being friends with benefits? or is it just like 'oh..yea..6 years..we gotta be fwb' b/c if he doesn't know..hes not gonna try anything..

does he know you've liked him for 6 years? b/c that could be like a "woah" signal or something..meaning that he might think your semi-obbsessed or what-not..

most of all..hes feeling the same way you are..(most likely) hes wondering in the back of his head "should i kiss her?" or wishing that you'd kiss him..

now this is just me..coz i'm the type that talks things out..you need to talk to him..make sure you BOTH know ya'll are fwb and talk about limits..(you don't wanna turn out to be a whore) and after that see how things change..

hey mandie i need help so post this one so i can read it...k... i think that i like this girl but i am almost positive she doesnt like me..my problem is that we have a history so how would i confront her about this... i mean i just dont know if i like her but somthin happend and i think that i missed it and, i think that it was more than a nothing

ohhhh kay..hmmm..this is a tough one b/c yea..okay i'm not QUITE sure what you mean by "more than a nothing" but i'm gonna try..i'm guessing since you have a "history" that oyu know her fairly well..you know how seh reacts..you know how she would like things put..hopefully..but i guess kinda send her signals..become a tad-bit MORE serious but not to the point were you freak her out..and just try things here and there and catch her reaction..hope i hepled!!! :)

There is a gurl @ skool who i like but..i'm not sure if she likes me? wat 2 do? should i ask her?? If she says no wat should i do??I dunno wat 2 do...

ummm..well first of all..you need to know if this "liking-ness" is gonna last past next week..and then like..approach her very carefully and just kinda see whats up..other than that..rejection is apart of living and learning..but if she flirts and ya'll talk ALOT..then most likely ur not i for rejection :)

what do u do if u have a gf that is liked but she is always all over guys..and she nows that he doesnt like it well at least i think she knows that i dont like that

oh my..there is a problem..talk to her about it..she probably isn't meaning to make you mad or doing it on purpose..i think you 2 have already talked to her about it..but honestly..she loves you with all her heart..and she is trying to change for you!!

never really thought that i would ask this..but since you don't know who is asking questions, i'll ask! how do you get over something tramatic like: rape, abuse, drugs, alcohol and just the rough stuff in life?

wow..this is like a real tought question to answer..not saying that i have experience or nothing (because i don't)

rape: serious topic..my friend waited almost have a year to tell people..it happended in December and she told her friend in August, the night before the first day of school. Just, talk to the people that you can trust, ask for help, even tell parents.

abuse: okay physical abuse is rough to get over..again not speaking from experience..but you really need to talk to the people who abuse(d) you and tell them how thats breaking you down inside and making you feel like poo!! Again, confide in friends and seek help!!

Drugs N Alcohol: well..this is the wrost stuff to get over..or its like hard or something..i just like..get help, tell people..i'm not sure..

basically, Talk to your friends and ask for help on any of these situations..you needto be able to trust people..so keep friends close by! :)

well i am bestfriends with this girl and we used to do everything together! and now...we hardly speak! we were best friends and she like ignores me all of the time...we don't have any classes together and hardly see each other through out the day, but a phone call every once in a while wouldn't be too horrible would it?! what should i do? should i just ignore this and once again lose one of the only people who gets me? hope you can answer this

well..i have a friend or two like this..but like if ya'll are just going into high school..like your both freshman..expect to not see them as much..these high schools are HUGE compared to Jr. Highs and all grades are mixed..also the like ego thing might get to them..being mixed up with HOT and OLDER guys can REALLY get to a girl's head..they look at the girls he hangs around with, the girls those girls hang around with..and think i gotta change my life i wanna be excepted..well TRY to keep in touch with her and just know that emails brighten peoples days! and also notes..if you see her in the hall give her a note..she will at least think about you..and if all else fails..get MORE friends!! there are other people you can grow to confide and trust in!! :)

There iz this gurl who her BF caught kissing her Ex-BF. What should the BF do bout this...

the BF should try to like..hear her out..she is REALLY sorry that anything ever happend..and isn't sure that what happend meant anything..she talked to you about and she thought ya'll were over this..but things don't die easy..so i guess she is still sentenced to depression-row..

but how would i know? i'm just a comentator..

and technically you never "caught" her doing anything..she told you because she wanted to have a relationship built on trust and love..not lies and lust..

okay...so ya there's this chick who...well we deffy have history...and well she has a bf..and that would be the bf she left me for to go out with..but i have the impression...no i KNOW that she DEFFY likes me...and i dont wanna screw over the dude..despite how much i wouldnt mind ripping his fat ass apart...so ya, back to question, how do i approach this..or well how do i do w.e is best...at doing..?.. :/
she is a freshamn..
i'm a freshman
the boyfriend is a freshman

well..could we be anymore obvious..loser! well..how are you POSITIVE this girl likes you? take some time..feel things out..try other girls..and if you can't get over her then talk to her about it..talk to her boyfriend about it..in the words of a good friend "big outcome comes from big risks" live on the edge a little and explore all the possible outcomes :)

Okay during the summer i lost my virginity to this guy, well tonite i went over to his house and we are like best friends now but i miss him and i really want him.. it makes me sad to see him cuz he is always talking to girls and never talks to me about what happened should i tell him how i feel or not

okay..well the thing was..did you like..consider him a best friend before ya'll had sex? b/c most girls get REALLY attached to thier "love" that they screwed..and the guy mostly wants sex to be like a bottay call..but just me being me..sound like the guy used you in a way and now he thinks hes all big, almighty and thinks he can screw you over..when he can't get any from any girls..you'll see a change in the way he talks and acts twards you..but remember these fine words BOOTAY CALL.. (sometimes girls need um toO!!)

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