khadiya's advice column

askkhadiya

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Hi, I'm 15 and a girl. I want to try and get on the contracptive pill but I'd rather not tell my parents it is cos I am sexually active. Is there any medical reasons that can help me get on it? My periods are irregular and I get bad period pains, Could I get put on it to help that? thanks x

They will definitely put you on pills to regulate your periods. And the bad pains, their maybe something wrong with you. You might really want to get that check out. Get your mom to take you to the doctor for that reason, and when you get back there by yourself then let him know about everything.

Q: why is it o.k. for guys to have sex with as many partners as they want to but if girls do the same they are considered "ho's" or "sluts"?

It really isnt ok. Its just ok in a guy's mind. Guy's can be labeled as hoes too. But why would any girl want to be with a lot of guys and have their vagina all out of shape??

Q: whats the difference between english subtitles on dvds and english subtitles for the hearing impaired?

Subtitles for the hearing impaired also called Closed captioning is actually a transcript, so it will say (door closing) or song plays--somewhere over the rainbow)
But in subtitles for dvd it just says the words it doesnt show the actions taken that result in noise, that a hearing impaired person wouldnt hear.

Q: I am trying to find some information regarding celebrities who support gay marriages;however I am having difficulty accessing any sites.

Well here is a list of Gay people that are famous in some type of way. Im sure they support Gay marriage. But maybe some of them dont. I have a gay friend and he is against Gay marriage.

http://gaylife.about.com/od/gaycelebrityprofiles/a/gaycelebrity.htm

Q: I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on march 9th. He withdrew and didnt cum in me. His precum should be clean bc he did not previously ejaculate and he went to the bathroom beforehand. A few days later we did it again and withdrew that time as well. We did it a third time a few days later and this time i took a Plan B pill the next day just to be safe. I usually get my period about the first of every month. Its usually a regular cycle and it stays the same. I should be getting it in the next 5 days. Im totally worried. It seems like Im having the early symptoms too. Im not sure if im imagining it though. Maybe Im just paying closer attention. The symptoms i have are the sore breasts, frequent urination, headache, nausea, and fatigue. Note: Im also getting over being sick and the nausea is only my stomach feeling queasy. And my stomach hurting has been hurting on and off since before the time we had sex. We havent done it before the 9th and we havent done anything that would get me pregnant before then either. I dont know if Im pregnant or not. Are my chances really high?

Also I dont want any answers saying how stupid we are and lectures. Whats done is done. I just want advice.

Well since you didnt take plane be the first two times you may still be pregnant. Plan b only works the first 72 hours after you've had sex, so what if you got pregnant one of the times before? It could be your imagination though. Sometimes your body will react like your pregnant if you think about it too much. Buy a test take it out the box sneak it in your house take the test and sneak it back out. But wait until after you miss your period.
O and by the way, pulling out really doesnt work. You can get pregnant from precum.

Q: Hey i have a frend named Mark, and his best frend told him some girl likes him. So on face book they were talking about him.
So i said "yeah i heard she likes mark" and the insults started flying. Turns out she doesnt/never liked him. I sent him the conversation, and he flipped out. He said i shouldnt have opened my big mouth and he was saying i hate you im done with you and kept telling me to F-off. I just didnt want them to be talking crap about him behind his back without him knowing. cuz were real tight. I tried explaining this to him. But he just doesnt care. what do you think?

I think mark was right. It really wasnt your business. And when you said "I heard she likes mark" after everything that was said you should have just kept it to yourself, I think what hurt him the most was the overall conversation that was had. If I was you I would just give him space.

Q: I can't make up my mind whether I want to dress like a normal girl or more like a boy. Mainly, I'm wondering if I should cut my hair short. It's ugly hair since it's frizzy and curly and random. It sticks out everywhere and straightening does no good. I'm fed up with it. I want to cut it all off, practically shave it, and then keep it only a few inches long. But what will happen? Will I end up with an afro? And will I look ugly? My face shape is probably all wrong. I cry every day just because of how ugly I feel and because my hair is so ridiculous. What do I do?

You should get it professionally done. They can train your hair, and show you ways to do it.
They also have hair products in the store that help frizz and curls. You put it in while your hair is still wet, and then blow dry.

Q: 17/f
I hate my hair. It has a mind of it's own. It waves horribly. The back always has ridges like the kind you get after taking out a ponytail. My bangs are impossible. They behave until about 1/3 where they suddenly jut out and curl. I just feel so self conscious because my hair looks like I belong in a circus. I straighten it every day and it usually takes two hours but after a little you can't tell I even brushed it, much less straightened it. I have a pretty good straightener and I don't have the money to go buy a new one. Help me figure out a solution, like maybe a hairstyle. I really would like to keep bangs because otherwise my forehead just looks weird. I am pale with freckles so I feel like my face is ugly and I need a cut/style that doesn't make it stand out.

Do you use any products when you straighten your hair?? Like mouse or anything in the store that they have for that? Have you ever thought about chemically straighting it??

They have this stuff in the store, I dont know it by name but you put it on your hair while its wet, and you let your hair dry, or blow dry then straighten. It helps it last longer. And freckles are beautiful! Its something that makes you unique!

Q: so i made this blog that i want to get seen, but i'm not sure exactly how to advertise it, as i don't want it to be known that i made it. i want to remain anonymous. how can i spread this around?

Go to different sites and make up different screen names and post it like that. Go in chat rooms, or anything like that. Make up an anonymous myspace page and send it to people. Anything works these days.

Q: Here is the deal. I am currently renting a house that I thought I was going to buy. But the landlord will not budge on the price so we are looking to buy elsewhere. the problem is that we are in a month to month lease and the landlord is already wanting to show the house to potential tenants. we haven't even put in our thirty day notice yet. we have signed a contract on another house. but the inspection didn't go well and if the sellers don't take care of the problem. we can't get the financing. ASo we are stuck limbo while the landlord is calling us several times a day to show the house. I am not sure what to do at this point.

I would help with the house im trying to buy. Why not? You know how you want things to be, so ask them do they need help. And the landlord can show the house all day, but he cant really kick you out as long as you've paid rent, unless he/she plans on giving your money back.

Q: Can anyone be very DETAILED in answering: would you allow your child to go on a stay away from home visit - with ANYONE whom you do NOT know where they live, or whom they live with?

No I wouldnt. If it was a young child. If it was a teenager I would at least want some contact information. I would feel better If I knew the people that stayed there though.

Q: My girl friend took plan B towards the end of last year not exactly sure when. I know it's bad but can she take it again?

Im sure she can, but the best thing to do is ask a doctor. You can make an anonymous call. Especially if you call your local health department. I recommend she starts birth control. Its different types she can get that her parents wont even have to know about. and until then I recommend a condom.

The tips: Instead of pills get her to try something else like An Implanon. Search it in Google. Its an implant that goes in your arm and its good for three years. NO MAINTENANCE at all. She wont be able to feel it and no one but her and you and whomever she chooses to tell will know its there.

Q: Female - My boyfriend ran into an old friend not to long ago and I asked one of our friends about her, apparently they had dated and he was obsessed with her. He's been acting weird and giving her things, fighting over her with his friend jokingly (Who had dated her too)"I told her this first" "She likes me more" type of stuff. Doing things like waiting for her, things he's never done with me. He talks about her with me 24/7 and tells me she’s jealous of me. I finally managed the courage and asked him about this "Obsession" and he admitted to it but he said he loves me and not to worry because "She said she wouldn't date him" last time he asked her to come back. I'm wondering if I should worry about this, I don't want to be hurt. Is there a chance he will actually cheat?

It is something to worry about. If she took him back he would cheat. Especially if he is constantly talking about her and throwing her in your face. Stay on your toes, but dont be super supspious because you will end up pushing him away.

Q: Sorry if this is the wrong category, but I was wondering, how do you curl hair? I've never tried it or done it before. I've never even seen anyone curl their hair. The look I'm going for, is that the curls started around the middle of my hair, instead of at the very top of my head, and that it was not really, really curly. (maybe sorta wavy, kinda curly?) Also, when I curl my hair, how long would I have to keep the curling iron in? Is there anything I would need to spray or put in my hair after or before I curl it? I don't think I have anything like mousse or something..... I have hair spray though. I was also wondering if I went to sleep with my curls, would it go away the next morning? Cause then I'd know if I should wake up early and curl my hair before school. If anyone could give me websites, that would be great! I need details or even specific details, and pictures would be nice! Thanks!

Yuri probably used rollers or big curling irons, but When yousin a curling iron the part that opens goes on top of the hair. and then you roll it so that the hair goes over the part. If you want it in the middle roll as much hair as high as you want it. then hold for at least 10 to 12 seconds. A little hairspray will make it hold better. I think there is a video...
Here is a whole list of things that will help you..
http://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+curl+hair&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

Q: What are ways to shave down there?

Well you always shave in the direction that the hair is growing. And also they have stuff in the store for those areas creams, lotions, and all that good stuff to stop razor bumps. Also a good thing to do is to do is to get some manicure scissors and trim it as short as you can before you try and shave it. So you wont have any issues.

Q: My dad told me that, he sees his girlfriend's daughter who's in my grade basically more then me. I mean, it wasn't my fault my parents got divorced in the first place I was like 2. Anyway, I havn't seen him in 3 months,
I feel so guilty for not seeing him. And I miss him, a lot. I've cried a couple times. And I want to see him, but everytime I'm about to call him, I keep hearing all this stuff about his girlfriend's daughter (Who happens to be in my grade, and gorgeous but really mean).
Anyways, my life kind of feels like a cinderella story but different. I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything. I just don't know how to talk to him about it, I feel like he doesn't love me. I don't really even know him.
Any adivice before I start like, balling on Fathers day?!

Tell him that you want to talk about him and you. That you dont want to hear about that. And if he cant respect that, then tell him you just wont call anymore. Or you can write him letters instead. Just to clear your mind.

Q: Hey 15/F

OK so there is this guy at my school, Sam. He is really nice and I think he is a really good friend but i think he might like me as more than a friend and i dont know what to do. And im like a huge flirt and i flrt sometimes without even knowing. So i think he might think that i like him too. When truly i dont. I really like having him as one of my friends but i know i would date him or anything it'd be to weird. So what do i do?? I still want him as my friend but nothing more than that.

Well if he just likes you it isnt really an issue. But if he approaches you and ask you out or something like that, the best thing to do is be honest and tell him the truth. He's a great friend and you wouldnt want to ruin your friendship.

Q: less than two weeks ago i shaved my stomach for the first time. and i've done it everyday since then.. except a couple days ago i realized there was alot of small bumps leading from the bottom of where my bra would be to the top of my bellybutton. and i don't exactly know if it is acne or razor burn. i've put some acne wash on it, but they wont go away. they don't hurt, they are just annoying and unattractive.

can someone tell me how to get rid of them?

WELL its just razor bumps, but you arent supposed to shave your stomach. That hair is natural its just a water line and everyone has it. Its no big deal. Now if its really thing then maybe just a little shaving but not everyday because once the hair is gone all your doing is scraping dead skin. Which causes the razor bumps. Oh and after shaving try puting a little alcohol and lotion on whatever you shave.

Q: Who are some old school rap artist?

Dr. dre
Cameo
JJ Fab
Public enemy
The B-Boys
Boogie Boys
Busy Bee
Captain Rock
Captain Sky
Choice MC's
Cold Crush Brothers
Count Coolout
Crash Crew
Cutmaster DC
Dimples D
Disco Four
Donald D
Double Trouble
Doug E Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew
Duke Bootee
Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde
Eddie Cheba
Fantasy 3
Fat Boys
DJ Divine & The Infinity Machine
Fearless Four
Force MC's
Freddy B & The Mighty Mic Masters
Fresh Gordon
Fresh 3 MC's
Funky 4 + 1
Grandmaster Caz
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
Grand Wizard Theodore and The Fantastic 5
Harlem World Crew
Infinity Rappers
Imperial Brothers
Intensive Three MC's
Jimmy Spicer
Kool Kyle Starchild
Kool Moe Dee
K Rob
Kurtis Blow
LA Dream Team
Lovebug Starski
Magnificent 7
Mantronix
Masterdon Committee
MC Magic
MC Ricky D (Slick Rick)
Mean Machine
The Mercedes Ladies
Mikey D
Newcleus
Rammellzee
Real Roxanne
Rockmaster Scott and the Dynamic 3
Roxanne Shante
Run DMC
Sparky D
Spoonie Gee
Spyder D
Sugarhill Gang
Symbolic Three
The Sequence
T La Rock
The Treacherous Three
Triple Threat
Two Sisters
Ultimate 3
Us Girls
UTFO
Whodini
Word of Mouth and DJ Cheese

Q: i'm doing research for psychology on bipolar disorder so can anyone explain to me the difference between a manic episode and a hypomanic episode? thanks so so so much

My aunt has biopolar disorder, but instead of me trying to explain it my way, i found another way....

A hypomanic episode is characterized by a distinct period of persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting throughout at least 4 days, that is clearly different from the person's usual mood.

During the period of mood disturbance, 3 or more of the following symptoms have persisted (4 if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:

* Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
* Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
* More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
* Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
* Distractibility (e.g., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
* Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
* Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)

A manic episode is characterized by period of time where an elevated, expansive or notably irritable mood is present, lasting for at least one week. These feelings must be sufficiently severe to cause difficulty or impairment in occupational, social, educational or other important functioning and can not be better explained by a mixed episode. Symptoms also can not be the result of substance use or abuse (e.g., alcohol, drugs, medications) or caused by a general medical condition. Three or more of the following symptoms must be present:

* Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
* Decreased need for sleep (e.g., one feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
* More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
* Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
* Attention is easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant items
* Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
* Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)

All of this information was found atpsych central

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.