I'm Abby, a 21-year-old college student with way too much time on her hands, thus resulting in my participation in sites like this. I'm currently a sophomore, and double majoring in Creative Writing and Psychology. My career goals are to make a living as a writer, and to work at Disney World. I have many random hobbies, such as reading, writing, listening to music, playing video games, watching anime, etc. I'm a huge nerd. I'm a tomboy, weird, and opinionated. I think that's about it.
As for this column, obviously it exists for me to give advice. I'm not the most qualified person in the world--I'll be the first person to admit that I've lived a rather sheltered life, and I'm not much of an expert on anything. (I'm one of those people who's read about everything, but hasn't actually experienced a damn thing.) But I like to think I've picked up at least a little bit of wisdom from the experiences I HAVE had, plus some knowledge from my endless curiosity. So if I can share that with somebody and help them out, then awesome, right?
Gender: Female
Location: Macon, Georgia
Member Since: December 30, 2006
Answers: 66
Last Update: January 7, 2010
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Well to start out with I`m a 16/female.
My boyfriend is 24 years old.
My parents are fine with our relationship, so yeah.
Today we were hanging out, and I got really mad at him for a dumb reason. So then he told me he didn`t think that things could work. I started crying & eventually fell asleep. When I woke up he told me he had taken 12 anxiety pills, which could potentially put him into a coma.
I could've care less about that, I was more worried about myself and I felt bad for me because I hated the fact that he had broken up with me. We then went to a coffee house to watch his friends band play. I was still crying, I couldn`t help myself.
I stormed out, to call my best friend because I needed to tell someone what had happened. Then him & friend came out of the coffee house & said, "Hey Mari we have to go now!" I was like "What's going on now?" Mikes friend had told Mikes mother & brother about it, so like we had to go back to Mike`s apartment. They told me I had to go upstairs while everyone talked, which was fine.
His mother drove me home, and I didn`t get to say good bye to Mike. :[ She was saying how me & him should stop seeing each other, because it`s not a good time for him to be in a relationship & I`m causing him way too much stress.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Oh my gosh, I`m so confused. I`d appreciate any response.
Thanks in advance, =] (link)
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You probably don't want to hear this, but it sounds to me like his mom has a point. You said it yourself, you couldn't care less about the damage he had possibly done to himself, you were just concerned about yourself and the fact that you just got broken up with. That sounds to me like a major sign of immaturity and selfishness--which isn't something that someone with the issues he obviously has (I'm guessing depression, at the very least) needs to be dealing with on top of everything else. Not to mention, as others have pointed out, the age gap IS going to come between you. No matter how mature you may be for your age, how much you may love each other, etc., the fact is, you're still far less mature than someone his age. That's inevitable.
So, in a nutshell...I agree. Still be friends with him if you want to and can make it work, but it doesn't sound like either one of you are ready for a relationship with the type of person the other is at this point.
Like I said, you probably don't want to hear it, but I have to be honest. I wish you the best of luck.
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okay, i really like this guy named Richie that i've known for awhile but one of my friends also likes him. i think that he is going to ask me out soon and i want to say yes but i dont want to hurt my friends feelings because they really like him too. i dont know what to do. plz help! (link)
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Talk to her about it. Tell her you like him, and ask if she'd be upset if you two ended up going out. If she says she would be (which if she's being honest, she probably will)--well, then it's up to you whether the chance of the relationship is worth taking the chance of ruining your friendship. I will say this, though: guys will screw you over on a regular basis your entire life, whereas a truly good friend will be there for you until the day you die.
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okay,i love my boyfriend to death and would do anything for him.but he drinks,dips,and smokes and i hate it.what i hate the most is that he tries to lie about it to me and it pisses me off. he wont do anything when im around him so im not worried about him pressuring me into doing it.but im worried about him getting caught,hurt,or in any kind of trouble.so my question is what can i say to make him stop? (link)
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Well, there's nothing you can say to MAKE him stop. In the end, it's his decision. But talk to him about it, and tell him you're worried about him and really wish he would stop. If he's lied to you about it, I would sit him down and tell him "Look, this is coming between us to the point where you're lying to me, and I'm not going to be with someone I don't trust, so either you give it up or we're through." If that still doesn't work...well, there's not much you can do.
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okay i have this really good friend that we are gonna call jhon.ok me and jhon have gone out before and he cheated on me and we broke up and three days later we started going back out because we couldnt stand being mad at each other.Well once again it didnt work out because we were not as close as we were the last time.well a couple of months went by and we still talked alot and flirted.then he got a girlfriend and the flirting stoped(and i understand that tottaly)but we still talked alot.i never stoped liking him.well him and his girlfriend broke up and the flirting started again.now we both confessed to each other who we liked(over text messaging,LOL)and i told him that i still liked him and he said he still liked me but he told me he also liked anothr girl.i asked what girl he liked more and he said "i dont know".then i asked what girl made him feel right and he said that it was me.so my question is what are the chances that we will go back out?
PS.this other girl that he likes asked him to go to the movies with her and he said no.does that mean anything??13/f and my boyfriends 15/m
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No one can predict whether or not you two will end up going back out. Nobody can see the future. But honestly, you might not want to hear it, but my advice is not to go back out with him. He's cheated on you before, and there's already another girl in the picture, so what reason do you have to think he's not going to do it again? Don't get yourself hurt all over again for someone who's probably not worth it.
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It's true that you can't get pregnant when you have sex when you're on your period because your egg releases, right? Or no... ? Thanks! (link)
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Wrong. You can always get pregnant if you have unprotected sex, even if you're on your period at the time.
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Hey guys I'm 15 and my name is Jackie. There is this guy that I simply can NOT get over. I've alould myself to get hurt. Everytime I begin to sorta get over him, he says something sweet or flirty that gets me to fall for him all over. My head knows he doesn't like me, but my heart keeps getting tricked into thinking that he likes me. so anyway. I need some tips for getting over him.
thanks
xoxo (link)
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Do you know for sure he doesn't like you? If not, then my advice would be to find that out first. As difficult as it may be, the best way is probably just to be straight-up about it. Try saying something like, "You keep saying things that come across as flirty, so I was wondering, are you interested in me as more than a friend? Or is it just my imagination?"
If you do know for sure that he doesn't like you--or if you ask and it turns out he doesn't--then as unhelpful as it may be, the only thing that can really get you over anyone is time. It may also help to stop hanging out with him for a while. I know you probably don't want to--after all, you must enjoy spending time with him or you wouldn't like him--but taking a break from someone's company really can help.
I hope that helps some. Just hang in there, things really will get easier with time. =)
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