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January 23, 2007Answers:
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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
well me and my boyfriend have had sex 3 times already and it really hurts when will it stop hurting and how do you know your cherry popped
Your cherry is popped. If you had sex, it is. No questions asked.
If you're in pain down there, stop having sex with him for a little while. Since this is obviously new to you, you need to give your body time to adjust. Take some Aleve to help with the pain.
When you aren't in pain anymore and are comfortable enough to have sex again, make sure to tell him to take it easy. He needs to be gentle with you the first several times you do it or else you'll just be in more pain.
So here is the problem. I am in 6th grade. My period is going to come soon, but i'm not sure what day exactly. Since it is getting so hot out all i am wearing is a t-shirt and shorts to school. I nthe winter i just kept my pad and/or tampon in the pocket of my northface and just used it when needed but now i cant do that. i don't know where to hide my tampons/pads. Also since i'm wearing shorts a pad might be able to show through. What do i do?
thx
It's time for you to discover the beauty of a purse! :)
You can easily store your pads/tampons in there, along with your pencils, calculator, wallet, and anything else you need to carry around. It's the perfect solution to a girl's problems like this one.
Omg ii got a questiiOn and ii cnt fiind on the net lol
well im doiing a project on ice methaphatimine and ii need to know at least 6 reasons why teens do drugs
thxx muxh =]
peer pressure
curiosity
stess
to spite their parents
to be cool
suicidal
That's really all I can think of. I just know that peer pressure is a big one, as is stress.
I got the biggest foam rollers I could find...
They're goody. theyre pink.
well at least theyre the biggest ones at rite aid that actually work.
and (i already have curly hair, i was trying to loosen em)
when i wake up in the morning
my hair is really curly
do i brush it out? i dont wanna brush out the curls,
but honestly, really curly hair makes me look slutty.
its hard to explain. like dreadlocks. but not.
what do i do the morning after? (=])
No, I wouldn't brush them out. Have you tried leaving the curlers in for just a few hours instead of overnight? Sometimes, it works better for people who put the curlers in after they wake up, add hairspray, and then take the curlers out just before they leave. You'd still have curl, it just won't be as intense.
If you don't want to do that, style your hair a different way. Wear it in a ponytail or half ponytail. Look on some different websites for hairstyles with curly hair. I'm sure you'll find something you like.
if you are assaulted by someone else first...then you kill the person b/c you're trying to protect yourself..would you go to jail?
Technically no, because it was in self-defense. It would most likely be a really long court struggle to make people believe that and you'd have to have a really really good lawyer, but it's possible that you wouldn't have to go to jail.
I just learned that my dog of twelve who is a chocolate lab is going to be put to sleep. My mom died when i was younger, and he was like my memory of herr.. she loved that dogg. I wanna spend my last few days with him doing something.. but he has cancer. It hurts for him to walk, and he won't eat. I don't know what to do. I haven't been myself.. and i don't like that.. what else should i do?
thanks.
Just be in the same room with him for a day. Curl up on the floor next to him. Give him hugs and kisses and tell him you love him. Mourning a dog is the absolute hardest thing to go through. It's important to know that it's okay to cry about it and talk about it when you need to. You'll feel a lot better. I have experienced losing a dog many times. If you need to talk about it with someone, I am here.
ok, so yesterday i went to my boyfriends house. we were messing around and he fingered me like really hard and when i got home, i noticed i was bleeding. did he pop my cherry? am i still considered a virgin? im so confused and worried b/c i didnt want to have sex or lose my virginity til im married
You are still a virgin and will remain so unless you have a penis fully inside of you. It is possible that he tore your hymen, but it's nothing to worry about. Most girls tear their hymen before having sex for the first time anyway.
my boss offered me a promotion at work the only bad thing is i have 2 younger kid and a beautiful girlfriend the problem is none of them want me to take it . i guess i should say the promotion would move me to monteray mexico it would mean being gone for two weeks home for the weekend but my sallary would triple i mean like 120,000 a year what should i do
Well you really need to weigh the pros and cons here. Are you financially stable right now? What kinds of things would the extra money help you with? Are you willing to give up so much family time for this promotion? Would you be happy being away from home so much?
If you are in a rut and really need the money, I suggest at least trying the job for awhile and see how it goes. Tell your boss you'll try the job for a couple weeks, but ask if it's okay to have your regular job back if things don't work out.
If you are doing okay financially right now and would prefer to spend more time with your kids, the promotion really isn't the thing for you.
Just weigh the options and go with what sounds best to you. Make a list of all the pros and cons of taking the promotion.
Good luck!
ok so when i get embarrassed or something bad happens to me or i get in trouble i always try to make a joke out of it. it's like ..im afraid that people will laugh at me or be like...psh what a freak...is it bad to always be joking and smiling at everything? if its bad is there anything i can do to stop.like i dont want to be a sad non-smiling person but i really need to stop joking around. thanks in advance! 15/f
Everyone handles situations like those differently. If joking about it makes you feel better, then there's no shame in that. It's not "bad" to joke about things as long as you learn from those situations.
okay so i have a couple questions about discharge :]
1. about how long should you have it. like ive had mine since like..6th grade and im in 8th now.
2. okay so do you have to wear a pantyliner thing when you have discharge. like me i ussaully just wear my underwear because i have discharge EVERY SINGLE DAY. and like its kinda a waste to get pads and shioot. so yeah. i just thro it in the wash.
3. okay this kinda has to due with the question up there. like.. since i have discharge every day. is that like normal? i mean like i dont get it when i get my period obvouisly but like.. i have it any other time. just like always. so yeah. is that normal or what?
thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkyou. :]
Yes this is completely normal and healthy. All women discharge daily, although the amount of discharge varies.
If you are comfortable enough to not wear pantyliners, then of course you don't have to. Just do whatever is most comfortable to you. If cost is a concern, they do have cheap boxes of them at some dollar stores.
I'm 13.
Me and my bf have been going out for 2 months and total on and off for a year and we havent kissed.
He is a shy guy and the only things he does is put his arm around mea nd hug me everyday. I'm having my 2 best guys friends to talk to him about what he should do to his girlfriend (me) and I dont know if thts bad. But I'm crazy abt him but shoudl i wait for him or just kiss him. PLEASE HELP ME LOTSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I suggest making the first move. He's most likely just nervous. When the opportunity presents itself, i.e. when you are hugging goodbye after hanging out or something, keep your arms wrapped around him, lean your chin on his chest, look up at him, give him a sweet smile, lean in, and kiss him! He'll love it and it's adorable! He'll be happy you did it and I'm sure you will too.
Sometimes I can be so tired. I can be lying in bed for hours and not be able to fall asleep even though I'm so exhausted.
What can I do?
No sleeping pills or doctors. Thx.
Make sure to start winding down NO LESS than an hour before bedtime. Don't exercise, eat, go on computer, watch TV, or do anything stimulating in this hour before you go to sleep. If you are hungry, a warm glass of milk is okay. Just sit in bed and read a book (esp. boring ones), write in a journal, meditate, knit, or do anything else you think might help you relax.
When it's time to turn off the light and try to sleep, do some deep breathing. Inhale for six counts and exhale for four counts v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y. It might also help to listen to quiet music or some kind of ambiance of waterfalls, crickets, rain, etc. It helps to keep your room at a nice and cool temperature.
It also helps to totally relax your body. Try this: close your eyes and imagine you are on a beach. Imagine that the tide is coming in and it slowly covers you. Start thinking about the water reaching your toes, and then moving up your leg, and then your abdomen, etc. Evertime you imagine the water covering a certain area of your body, relax those muscles completely. Imagine the tide covering you until you are competely "underwater." This is VERY relaxing.
If these simple tips don't work, perhaps you should consider seeing a doctor. It will only get worse the more you put it off.
14/f
i have done everything sexually except for intercourse and well anal but thats just gross.
Now i dont wanna hear all the stuff about oh your too young. because what you say will not effect me.
i have had the same boyfriend for a good amount of time. i havent done anything sexual with anyone but him. now i would like to know if a doctor can tell that ive gotten oral, fingered, givin head, and all that stuff? because if they can im screwed. lol
answers please
No. There is no possible way for them to tell at all. You're safe. Even if they could tell, the information is confidential and for you to know only, but they can't tell so it doesn't really matter.
18/f. Second year university, studying graphic design.
Anyway. Here's my prob.
I do the work study program at my uni, which is when the student gets a 'job' in the campus and works for however many hours s/he wishes and gets paid as s/he works (about $5.5 per hour). Anyway. I've given a schedule to my 'boss' (i work for the facilities manager) and I stick to it all the time. However, he ALWAYS wants me to come in whenever I am free, even if I've worked for that day and have nothing else to do! He even makes me come in on weekends and work... I just seriously hate it. There were couple of times when I couldn't work on the scheduled day and I worked extra in advance 'cause of that - and I let him know that "Sir, I will not come tomorrow, that's why I will work 2 hours extra today'. And if I don't show up the next day, he gets angry, upset and calls me and asks me where I am, depite the fact that I'd told him a day ago!
I don't know how to deal with this anymore. It's getting on my nerves. I have a life other than my work life. He even plans on hiring me as his personal secretary after I graduate. Wtf? I want to work as a designer.
All I do is type emails, organize his desk, file documents. That's it. i love my job but he's making a big deal out of it.
What should I do? Should I just quit when the semester is over?... =*(
Thing is, I've been working for him for a year now. I basically know how the system works, stuff about the campus facilities, where everything is and who people are. I'm his 'right eye', as he calls it. If I quit, he's gonna get seriously upset.
Help please! PLEASE! =*(
I think it would be a great idea for you to quit after this semester. If your boss gets upset, let him. If he wants to be a baby about it, it's not your problem. You have your own life goals.
For right now though, have a serious talk with your boss. Tell him EXACTLY what your availability is and he has to stick to it. You have availability for a reason. Point out to him that you have homework to take care of and you cannot work all the hours he has been throwing at you. As your boss, he is required by law to either respect your availability or fire you. If you need to take a day off, try to let him know at least a week in advance so he won't be so upset when you don't come in.
You don't have to be this guy's guinea pig, you know. If it upsets you this much, quit and find another job. Your boss sounds pretty immature.
I fall asleep and i dream of the most hotties men, you could imagin of what i do with them :D
But i wake up and think of my best friend who is a women. Why?
i want to have sex with a man, i want them to hold me, i want to make out with men and i love it when men look at me.
But why do i worry about my friend June? I care about her, want to hold her, and when she leans on me i want to cuddle with her.
I know i became bi
but she is the only women that i only has eyes for.i dont look at other women in a sexual way, i compear myself with them.
i dont get it?
You cannot help who you have feelings for. You obviously really care for your friend, so it's normal for you to feel more attracted to her than other women. Just because you consider yourself bi does not in any way mean that you will have sexual thoughts about every guy/girl you see. It seems to me like you have more sexual desires for men and those desires you have for your friend and only your friend are because you must be so close with her.
ive always been really skinny, and sometimes underweight. but just the other night ym paretns told me to stop eating so much, i eat a lot! and my parents say its guna catch up to me and ill be fat. So im about 98 punds myabe more[[cuz i gained weight!]] and im 13 and 5'2. i cant STOP resticting myself from eating too much, i even told my friends, and like imscared for myself. i dont want to stop eatin, but i have to!
i know its unhealthy, but for sum reason my body is saying this, or something else. im not going to talk to my parents becasue i have before, and they say im not anerexic or anything. plus its not serious yet. im just cutting down on foods, ill still eat enough, just not as big of portions as normal, but i feel like im starving myself, but i also feel like im doing the right thing. is this true?
i dnt want to NOT eat, but i need to stop my overeating. I wokro ut like crazy for track, and i have a fast matabulism, but im still worried... what should i do, do i have a problem, whats WRONG!
If you're really hungry, then eat. Don't be afraid to munch on healthy snacks. Keep baby carrots in the fridge and munch on those. Keep a bag of pretzels around to eat. Have regular meals (breakfast, lunch, AND dinner) everyday. If you're worried about gaining weight, just try to eat things that are a little better for you. DON'T constantly work out. I understand if you need to do it for track, but if you're only 98 pounds at this point, working out shouldn't be a big concern for you.
What I'm trying to say is work out and eat at a normal healthy pace. You don't have to go on a diet or work out every single day. But it's ok to work out normally, like maybe 3 days a week, and if you find yourself really hungy, indulge in healthy snacks.
If you have an average work out routine and eat foods that are good for you and you're still skinny, then that's just your body type. There's nothing you can do about it. If you stick to that routine for the rest of your life, you won't have to worry about gaining a lot of weight in the future.
okay...I'm seventeen and my girlfriend is sixteen.. two weeks ago my girlfriend and i tried to have sex...(with a condom).. it didn't go to great... we didn't get anything done because she was too tight.. well, a virgin.. we eventually stopped and she got on top of me..(without a condom).. i felt her vagina on my penis, but it didn't go in.. it might have lasted four minutes.. i didn't cum, not even close, but i might have precum.. is there a good chance she could get pregnant?
Yes there most certainly is a chance she could get pregnant. She should def. get tested. Next time, no matter what kind of fooling around you do, make sure to wear a condom. And it wouldn't hurt for her to look into getting birth control either.
I don't want to scare you, while she might be pregnant, she might not be. If she's not, be VERY thankful and be careful next time. If she is, I wish you both the best of luck.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly a month now. I love him and he loves me. We care about each other a lot, but he seems to be so shy around me, and he never finds time to see me on the weekends.
I completely respect his space, and him wanting to see his friends. In fact I would like to see mine as well as often as I can. But even with spring break, he couldn't find one day to see me, and he gives me these excuses. Some friends say he is just shy or isn't comfortable finding time with me or something. I know we just started out, but it'd be nice to see him occasionally instead of seeing him at school. What can I do?
Thanks for your time.
You need to confront him immediatley about this. Tell him you'd like to spend more time with him and get to know him better. You're his girlfriend now. He needs to MAKE time for you. If he doesn't, a relationship is pointless. If he's uncomfortable with seeing you, request that he at least gives you a chance once in awhile. If he actually tried to make time for you, he'll get to know you better, and he'll be more comfortable.
Since he's shy, you're really going to have to confront him about this because he'll just keep making up excuses to not see you and things will only get worse.
Point out that you don't need to see him ALL THE TIME, but lately you haven't been seeing him at all and it bothers you.
Okay im a 13/f and i got out of a relasion ship about 2 or three weeks ago. Then My ex's best friend asked me out and i said no cuz i have a friend who likes him so i thought i was doing the wright thing so i let him go. then this guy grey asks me out and i have known him since i was like mabey 3 or 4 and he is really nice and he gives me a hole lot of attention and i like it alot. But i think mabey if i say yes to grey that it might ruen our friend ship. So can you help me i need it despretly.
Luv,
Cant diside
Well, unfortunately, that's the hardest place to be. Do you think you could have a lasting relationship with this boy? Are you willing to risk that friendship? If things didn't work out, are you both mature enough to remain friends if you do break up?
You need to weigh your options. Sure, he's a good friend, but sometimes good friends can become great boyfriends because you two are so close already.
I think you should talk to him about your concerns over your friendship and decide together if you'd like to try a relationship out.
Good luck!
I had this cat skipper for a long time. she is 18 years old, very old getting thin, oilly fur, hard time eating hard food. but lately i saw blood on her poo, and sometimes i saw a blood stop in my bathroom, i whipe it up and it look like a gooy blood stuff??? so whats the matter with her? i know i show go to the vet, but i would like to know what you might think what it is cause you put on your advic page that you been working as a vet. so any idea?
I don't know exactly what's wrong with your cat. It could be a large number of things due to her old age. She might have had a small tear in her anus due to a large piece of stool, she might have a tear in her bladder, causing her to bleed from that area, she might have an internal parasite, she could even have cancer. It's hard for me to tell.
Bleeding is a serious thing, esp. for a cat her age, and you need to get her into a doctor right away.