ohitscassidy's advice column

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Q: and a lot of older girls in my cross country have something similiar from the earrings i got.
i feel like im copying them but im not doing it cuz of that..
should i still wear them? or not at all?
will they think im some poser who wants to do everything like them?
help!
thanks.

wear them, its not like they own the earring brand.. thousands of people probably have the same earrings if they have a problem just tell them they don't own the earring brand, you can wear what you want and your not "copying them" you just like the earrings i dont think they would say anything though.. its just a pair of earrings it would be pretty pathetic on there part if they do make a scene over a pair of earrings, tell them to grow up.

goodluck

Q: I want to know is it possible to NOT get symptoms if your pregnant like, if I was pregnant for the first 2-8 weeks I don't get nausea etc.. stuff like that.. Is it possible to not get symptoms, or I need to get at least one symptom.. I'm really anxious... please help! Thanks so much!

everyone is diffrent i got symptoms right away but i know someone who didn't know she was pregnant until 5 months because she never got any symptoms, so you could be.. take a test to find out for sure

Q: noone really helped. so maybe itll work better this time,
dealing with drummers.
i am one and i want a nickname. you know like a stage name.
my names Taylor/female/14/
any ideas? thanks.

tbag

Q: Okay so the other day I gave a guy a blow job. He is 34 years old and he has had sex with multiple women.. Anyway... I guess I didn't actually give him a blow job, I gave him a hand job and when he came, I licked some of it off (I dunno why. To be sexy maybe) anyway... There was something weird in his cum. I spit most of it out but I think I swallowed some... I had cum all over my hand so he handed me a paper towel and I noticed as I was wiping it off that there was dark stuff in his cum. (like black, I think... the lights were off so I couldn't see very well) The only way I can describe may sound weird but I dunno how to else to explain it other than it looked like part of a leaf... like you know in the fall when the leaves break apart and there are tiny little peices of leaf everywhere... thats what it looked like and thats kinda what it felt like in my mouth (not that I would know personally)... I know that is way lame but I really cant think of another way to describe it. I am worried maybe he had an STD or something... but the thing is I gave him another hand job a couple days later and there was nothing... he had been scuba diving earlier that day... could it have been something from the ocean? If you have any ideas or information please help. Thanks

you said he was scuba diving, if he wasn't wearing suit just like swim trunks it could be possible that a piece of sea weed or something got into shaft and came out when he came.. but then again if he peed after we went scuba diving i think it would have came out then? so that might not be the case if you think it could be an std go see your doctor, if not then just simply confront him about it, it may be a bit awkward but.. theres no better way then finding out from the source it could just be nothing, or it could be something just ask him about it or see a doctor.

Q: I'm a fourteen-year old female I have a girlfriend that I really love but never see. When she talks about sex, she reminds me of my rapist so we haven't had sex yet and I don't think I want to. Every time we talk about getting together she talks about sex, but she writes me poetry and she's really loving. She's suicidal and I feel like protecting her. She hasn't come out to her parents yet and I think she feels safe with me. What should I do? She sort of creeps me out, mostly because she cares about sex so much. I'm a virgin save for my molestation when I was 7 through 8. I don't think she gets that I'm touchy about it, no pun intended (dark humor, sorry). I used to cut myself but I stopped, and she still wants me to. I told her I stopped and she asked me why not. She still does. Her mom's always on heroin and she does pot. I want and don't want to dump her at the same time. Should I break up with her?

yes, you should brake up with her staying with someone ONLY Because you think you need to help her isn't a good enough reason before you dump her you should try telling someone in her life that cares about her weather it be her mother, father, grandparent, aunt, uncle anyones.. because someone needs to know about the break up to watch her and get her help if needed since shes suicidal you say you love and care about her that would be the best thing for her, it seems like she has her own problems that she needs to deal with. Someone who is telling you to cut yourself and encourage you to do it again? thats not someone you want in your life. It's a good thing that you stopped, and you realized its not worth it, try to tell her that? or not thats up to you but please don't start again nothing is worth it to do that to yourself. it seems like you have a traumatic past, you don't need this girl making it only worse for you, the person you should be with should make you happy all the time and be encouraging, not trying to make you have sex.. and with your background i think that the person should be respectful of that and wait until your ready.

i hope everything works out for you
gooodluck.

Q: im meeting the guy i like today. i havent seen him in 3 months and he goes to a different school than me. what should i say to him?

just talk to him casually, ask him how he's been, what he's been up to you know just random conversation starters, ask him how school is if you know his parents ext ask about them he'll probably bring up conversation to, so just play it casual and go with the flow

Q: i like 4 guys.the 1st is nice smart and sweet.the 2nd is nice sweet smart and funny.the third is funny,fun 2 b around.the 4th is nice sweet funny&fun 2 b around.i no the 1st and 4th likes me. the 2nd &3rd seems like they like me.which one should i choose?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

well i would choose the fourth one only because he was all of the things you mentioned, nice, sweet funny, fun to be around and he liked you. thats only my opinion choose whoever you think is right for you not what other people think.

goodluck!

Q:

I had this dream last night, I was at a place it looked like a church I remember seeing a lot of children with a teacher or a woman they were singing and praising. The woman gave me a booklet to participate when I opened the booklet I realized that they were all buddist so I exsplained to her that I was not buddist..infact I told her I wasn't religious at all and that I have tried Christianity, Judaismn...but then I decided I would try it and so I slowly started to participate in it and then I remember entering a room I found people on their knees praising and a woman singing while she was lighting candles when I looked up I saw a glowing colorful tree I felt warm and happy and beside me sat a two dogs attached at the hip..what does this mean? I want other peoples opinions on it and please no links.

(I am not a religious person, I don't intend to be religious because it really doesn't interest me at all)

it probably doesn't mean anything, dreams are just dreams i drempt a few nights ago that i was a professional volleyball player.. and im not interest in volleyball what so ever and in fact its my least favorite sport, so not all dreams mean anything there just.. dreams.. have you secretly wanted to try budism? thats the only i can think of otherwise it was just one of those crazy dreams people have

Q: So...i have been fingering myself since i was like 10 & i do continue doing it (im 14 now) but im beggining to get scared because one of my clitoris is like really large, brown and ugly, and i dnt know wierd. It makes me self councious and i dont know what im goin to do when i have sex or when my boyfriend gets into my pants to finger me. I just get really worried/nervous/scared. Do you know what this is? 14/f
~~~Olie (or u can call me Michii) D=

well first of all.. you only or should only have ONE clitoris hahaha.

i think your referring to your labia your vagina lips? i think thats what your talking about here:
http://content.revolutionhealth.com/contentimages/images-image_popup-ans7_vulva.jpg\

a lot of girls are self conscious about there vagina's everyone is but im telling you no guy is even going to notice it, trust me they really arnt as picky as society makes them sound and if some guy ever said anything witch they wont, then get rid of him he isn't worth it if he doesn't think every part of you is good looking.

Q: 17-f

i have been having problems for the past two weeks which have led me to believe this is all it can be.
But i cant take a test yet and want to know if theres a possibility it could be something else.
I had sex about 3 1/2 to 4 weeks ago and the problems happened about a week later and thats what makes me believe i cant be pregnant i don't know how early symptoms can start.

-Symptoms-

-i had my period the day after having the sex and normally it only lasts 3 days but this time it lasted 6-7 days.

-Cramping (feels like im on my period but im not bleeding) (started 1 week ago)

-feeling Nauseous all day and have stomach pains if im hungry and after I've eaten ((feel like throwing up)) started about a week after i had sex.

-Feel sick when i get around some foods like pizza lasagna and spaghetti. ((work with pizza and havent been able to stay at work without leaving sick yet.))

-Have breast pains ((but I've always had occasional breast pain so i don't know if this matters))

-Acid reflux flare-ups (have acid reflux but it hasn't seemed to go away for the past two weeks.)

If you could tell me if any of this is possible to happen or start happening within a week of pregnancy let me know!!!
&& if theres anything else it could be also clue me in on that thanks :)

::someone has told me its a UTI but it cant be i have only one of the symptoms which is nausea.

sorry its so long but i felt it was necessary to describe what and when things were happening.

Thanks in advance :)

well i had all those symptoms when i was pregnant, the worst one i had was if i had to bites of something i would feel like ive eaten a whole pizza and then half an hour later it would feel like i havent eaten anything in weeks that symptom started pretty early probably about 2 weeks, everyones diffrent so symptoms start at diffrent times for everybody. There is a possibility of having symptoms only a week after, you said you got your period? i had this to only in fact it was a diffrent form of vaginal bleeding witch they said was normal thats why i didnt think i was pregnant, i thought that was my period and i ended up being two months pregnant when i found out. the cramping is the first symptom i had after my "vaginal bleeding" it felt like intense period cramps but no period and that was pretty early on probably about a week and half after the sex. Get a test as soon as possible and take it from there because your symptoms do sound a lot like the ones i had in early pregnancy. ( i only carried to 10 weeks, i had a misscarrige =[ ) gooooodluck, hope everything works out for you!

Q: 16/f

my sister is going to planning parenthood and is saying that he had intercourse and is getting me after pills. how effective are they? and i'm supposed to take it after 14 hours since the sex. will it work?

there about 98% effect, it will say on the box and they work up to 72 hours after the sex

Q: 16/f

so me and my boyfriend had sex, and the condom didn't break.. it just leaked out from the bottom. and it got around my vagina... can i still get pregnant from that? and if i take after pills, would that help stop the pregnancy?

i know i know, i learned my lesson... i regret it.. but me and my boyfriend are awfully scared at the moment, i told my sister and she said if my mom found out then we're moving and i can't see my boyfriend away, and that if i want an abortion, then i'm going to have to pay for it myself for 300 dollars. and that i'm on my own. and he's telling his mom to help me get after pills. but i know one thing's for sure, i'm staying off sex for a long while. please help me!

okay, calm down.
im 17, and ive been through it to although i actually was pregnant lol, anyways your 16 if you know someone who is 17 years old you can give them the money and have them go to a pharmacy and get them the person only has to be 17 and you dont need a prescription, that way his parents wont have to know about it, and the morning after pills are good until 72 hours after the sex and they stop the egg from implanting into the uterus when you take them watch out for side effect when i take them it always gives me a fever. as long as you get the pills within the 72 hours you'll be fine! oh and the pills cost from 30-40 well here in CT anyways.

goodluck!

Q: hey my name is katie.okay so this question isnt really about me...its about my friend sara. sara is going out with this guy named josh.and they are sooo cute together. theyve been going out for a year and a half now. josh really loves her. but i was talking to sara the other day and she said that she might have a crush on this other guy matt. the thing is..matt is one of her ex boyfriends from like 2 years ago. but she isnt totally sure if she does like matt. she just said that shes starting to get a crush on him. sara doesnt wanna say anything to josh because she doesnt want to lose her relationship with him..but she doesnt know if she wants to go out with matt.
helpppp!

sara needs to make a decision quick, the sooner, the easier it will be. you said this was saras ex? maybe she needs to re evaluate why he is her ex there not going out for a reason, so .. she needs to think about that. nobody should leave the guy they love for someone they like, its not worth it in the end. is she even sure if matt likes her back? if not it could just be a bad situation. i don't know the story behind this matt kid, so im probably not much of a help i just think she needs to remember why they broke up in the first place.

Q: How do u make your bust size bigger..lol i have a silly question that i need answered..ok...here we go...one of my boobs are way bigger than the other and im scared i have a problem please email me at jennifer_jeanelle@hotmail.com or pink_starburst2004@yahoo.com

thanx

most women have this problem, including me. believe it or not most people can't tell.. my boyfriend can't tell, but i can we can tell more since its our bodies.. if its something significant that people are pointing out to you, you can these rubber implants im not sure what there called but my cousin uses one of them to make her boobs look even on both sides, they kind of look like a piece of chicken haha sadly, try googling them.. theres not much that can be done besides surgical implants

Q: hi! my name is tanya and i like a guy very badly. his name is aditya. but hes in 8th class in school and im in 6th. we go to a summer camp together. he asked me some days ago that if i like him as a friend and he also told me he likes me. but yesterday one of his friends started asking me science question which they only study in 8th and as im in 6th i didnt know the answers so i just told that im not interested in that at the moment and i made a complete fool of myself in front of him the other day. he thinks im a failure in my class when im a topper. now he has found out that im in 6th. please tell me what to do now please. i really like the person.

if you like him just be honest, tell him your in 6th grade and that you like him and just wait and see what he has to say theres not much you can do, except be honest and take it from there

Q: Hi there
just wondering, what are REALISTICALLY my chances of still having a regular period, and being pregnant. My periods havent been late, and its not just spotting. However i do have wuite light periods since im on the pill. Please help me, i hear all these stories of women being pregnant and not knowing it.

i was one of those women, i had my normal or what i thought was my normal period but it was in fact a diffrent vaginal bleeding that can happen during pregnancy and i thought it was my real period because i had cramps, few weeks later i took a test out of curiosity because i had a few symptoms and i was 2 months pregnant. i would say your chances if you are sexually active and the guy cums inside you i would say your chances are 50/50 at least thats what happened in my case, since your on the pill though that effects your chances quit a bit birth control is about 98% effective or something like that so you should be good, although i know a baby who was conceived while there mother was on the pill so if your worried about it a week after your period take a test just to be on the safe side

Q: hi you just answered my question about being prego. and you said that about your period. and well i just got my "period" today and its heavy or well normal and i have cramps and everything would that still be a potential prego?and when you thought u had your period did it last the regurlar dyas it would with a regular period. ??

when i had mine i had it for 6 days, witch is normal for me thats why i thought it was my period and i did have cramps, and it was about medium flow but again thats normal for me, there is a slight posibilty of being pregnant but chances are your fine, i finally noticed i was by my next period because it only lasted 3 days and i was feeling odd so i took a test and i was pregnant, 2months pregnant in fact so i would say don't worry about it now because if you stress you can make your cycle change if your really worried about it take a test about a week after your period stops this time.

Q: ok so i started gettin my peirod when i was like 12. im 14 now and i have never had sex but my peirods stopped. what does that mean?

don't worry about it, your period can be irregular it happens, if you don't get it in a few months, i would mention something to your mom because something could be wrong, but chances are your just irregular.

Q: I was doing stuff with a guy and he wanted to cum on my boobs..but it didnt exactly go there, it dripped toward my vag area..like on it, but not in it..it was at the top of it and then i got up really slowly and carefully and rushed to wash it off but im really scared i could be pregnant. he said im not but i dont know

i don't think your pregnant, if it wasn't actually inside of you, theres nothing to worry about even if the guy came on your vagina, most of the sperm die when they hit the air so you should be fine, just make sure he has better aim next time lol.

Q: okay this probably sounds really stupid, but i don't exactly understand what dry sex is?

i heard it's great. but then if you don't exactly want to have REAL sex, it's not a good idea, right? because won't the guy just try and have sex with you then?

all dry sex is, is when a guy starts like grinding on you and making humping motions but your actually both clothed.. i wouldn't say its great now but maybe when i was 13 it was great lol.

you can have dry sex and not have real sex, the guy may get some blue balls but.. it happens i dont know how old you are or if you are sexually active if you .. you could give him a hand job or blow job instead of sex so he wont have blue balls. DON'T DO THAT IF YOU ARN'T SEXUALLY ACTIVE, DON'T DO ANYTHING YOUR NOT 100% COMFORTABLE DOING.

goodluck.