about

I am a married police/fire/medical dispatcher. I graduated from Pacific Lutheran University in 2002 with my BA in Psychology with a minor in Sociology and will be seeking my MA in Conflict Negotioation and Crisis resolution in the fall of 2008. I like being the person that people come to when they have concerns because I have a solid head on my shoulders and try to greet everyone fairly. That being said, if you're kidding yourself or being selfish I'll be the very first person to tell you that you need to get off your behind and go do something with your life because nobody is going to do it for you.

I believe that taking personal responsibility for your actions is key to living and loving life. If you never blame anyone else for things you had control over people will respect you and forgive you your transgressions. Lying is never worth the words you waste and nothing (NOTHING) is worth lying about. If you feel the need to lie about it you seriously need to reconsider your motivation, your relationship, or whatever else factors into you deciding that lying is a good decision.

Take a look at those people that you surround yourself with. Are they really worth your time or are they energy vampires that are trying to remove the life from you, your cashflow, or your time? Think about that, those relationships must also assist you in bettering your life NOT just theirs.

Please contact me, even if it's just to tell me that I'm full of crap. If you say it in a meaningful and honest way I will consider what you're saying.

Remember: communication is key. God Bless!

advice

so i really want to start eating better. im naturally thin, but the way/things i eat ill be dead by the time im 30... first of all im NOT a morning person at ALL. but i want to start eating breakfast, so i want something nutritious but SIMPLE that can be made in seriously like 5 minutes and tastes good. any ideas? even if its just like cereal, whats a kind thatll help me lose a few pounds and be more lean and healthy? also is grilled chicken good for you? any tips on eating better? i hate lettuce alot but im going to try to force myself to start eating salads =/ any tips overall?

I'll play the con to the others pro on the chicken and say that it's really not that good for you. ALL animal products have extra fat. Yes the protein is good but you can also get that by putting chickpeas on your salad or some grilled tofu (which is actually quite tasty, don't knock it until you smother a slice in sauce and slap it on the bbq, babe).

Another note on chicken: when tested nearly all of packaged chicken has been found to contain feces. Chickens are terrorized before being killed, they know they're going to die and their bodies are full of terror and fear when they die and you're eating that. You are what you eat, right? Not to mention pesticides, hormones, and the various other things food companies inject into chicken to make it taste better.

Does it still sound good for you?

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I'm aware that what I'm about to ask isn't healthy, nor is it necessarily safe.

But I would like answers.
It's my choice to endager my health,
and you don't know me,
so please don't be so quick to judge.

HOW IS A QUICK WAY/ WHAT IS THE QUICKEST
WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT? PREFERABLY 10-15 lbs.

If you know of anyway, or something
that has worked for you - please let
me know I'd love some feedback.

Thank you thank you.

One thing you might consider is trying to speed up your metabolism. Eat fruits, veggies (mainly veggies) and whole grains every 2-3 hours. This should result in you never being hungry. Obviously don't eat while sleeping but eat upon waking: 2-3 pieces of fruit, at about 30 minute intervals and a piece of toast for breakfast, dried fruit or nuts for a small snack, a salad with vinegrette dressing and garbonzo beans for protein. Dinner could be roasted potatos, grilled mushrooms and bell peppers with grilled tofu in tereyaki sauce.

This is just an example of things to eat but notice no meat or dairy. I suggest a completly vegan diet. It's amazing how many extra calories and fat you can eliminate from your diet by removing all animal products. They have wonderful cream cheese, sour cream and butter substitutes on the market that are completly vegan friendly. Eat the right things more frequently and the lbs will come off. Also of course add exercise to your diet and the results will be that much quicker!

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I have been best friends with a guy named Dan for over five years. We get along so well, and we kind of flirt with eachother. Now, I've begun to realize that I like him, more than just a friend. It's the classic situation: I want to tell him how I feel but I'm so scared that it'll ruin the friendship (if he doesn't like me, that is). Right now we're really close, but we flirt, so it's not like that weird, brother and sister relationship. What should I do? I'm running out of time because a lot of girls like him and I don't think he'll be single for too long. Thanks

You need to first truly evaluate how you feel about Dan. It sounds like you already have and you've decided that you honestly think that a relationship with him could work (and really, that loud chewing noise he makes while eating carrots isn't that bothersome, right? ha ha).

I suggest that after you truly know how you feel you sit him down in a quiet place with none of your other friends around (and not while you're highly intoxicated) and tell him that you have romantic feelings toward him. Tell him that you understand if he does not and you will not let this get in the way of your friendship if he does not but that you owe it to him, as a friend, to be upfront with him about how you feel because on the off chance that he feels the same way you two should give it a shot. It won't ruin the friendship if you don't let it. Don't get embarassed if he doesn't feel the same way, it could be that he used to but to be your friend he had to block out those feelings so he has stopped thinking about you in a romantic way.

You owe it to yourself and to him to be honest about it and be adult too, no crying, or pouting, or anything juvenile. Honest, accepting, forgiving, and loving.

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16/f with my first bf (he's 15, five months younger than me)

well, he's really REALLY experienced...I mean, this guy's been in relationships for like 10 years lol

well, I'm not into hookups. I'm into a really...passionate relationship. like, very loving.

we've been going out for 23 days.

and he's already grabbing at my crotch and feeling me up.

i mean, i like it and all. it's like fine...whatever.

but when he does sexual things like that, i feel really embarrassed. and he even QUESTIONS me after...like....why did you yell, you didn't like it?
sometimes he slowly forces things on me. like, he went up my shirt and onto my bra, and started touching me there. it's not that it feels uncomfortable..im just afraid he thinks I'm easy and he's using advantage of me. I'm a really shy/sensitive girl...and i'm also nice. so I don't want him to think I'm easy..
we're already makiing out, and I just feel like its too soon to be doing it. and he tells me he loves me ...
and he always tells me that he'd love to make love to me one day, and that he has dreams about giving me oral sex. I feel so awkward. He expects me to promise sexual things in the future..towards him.
I'm scared, really.
But I like him a lot. Its just that I'm not experienced so I don't know how to tell 'bad' guys from good.
Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I don't want to end up being raped :(

I completly agree with what JaLye said. Do not let this little 'playa' push you into anything. You're a beautiful special woman and nobody (underline that and say it again NOBODY) should be pressuring, pushing, cajoling, or convincing you to do anything (ANYTHING) you don't want to do!

I don't particularly care how cute you think he is or how much you like him, your relationship is very new and at that age, yes I remember it, he'll get old quick.. damn quick. So stand up for yourself, tell him your phyiscal boundaries and you'll let him know when those change and if he's not man enough to deal with what you want then he's no man you want. Women don't get anywhere in life by bending our wills or backs for what the men want so don't you start early. This may sound harsh, and believe me I'm all about cooking for my husband and giving in to what he likes but that's just it, he's my husband. He worked really, really hard to get to that status and it's worked out great for both of us.

Put your big girl panties on and lay down your rules honey and don't be ashamed of them!

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okay my name is michaela nad i am a tough girl usually but when it comes to my boyfriend i feel older yet like i dont have to stand up for some things because he is there..... so a while back i thought my boyfriend was cheating on me because some gurl said she loved my guy!! well i think that she just has a crush on him. but well we have gone out three times. four and a half mounths was the longest but i have know him for a year and a half. well today we were walking and i called him retarded as a joke because he was being stupid. and after that i accidentally said "i love you." it just slipped. i wasnt even ready to tell him that and i dont think he was ready to hear it. but he said it back at least but really really quiet. i am kinda freaked out and i dont know how i am going to react around him. i think i should just act normal but i seriously i dont think i can now. what should i do?!?!?!?!?!

I know this might be a little tough for you, but honestly I'd suggest that you sit him down and tell him basically what you just told me: that you weren't ready to say that and it slipped. Now, just because you're not ready to "say that" in terms of your relationship doesn't mean that you do not love him. Spread the love far and wide, dear! Love everybody and don't be ashamed of it (I mean the feeling, not anything physical). Just because you love somebody doesn't mean you're IN love with them. Those are two separate things.

If you're uncomfy telling him then write an open and honest note and ask him to read it while you're present and to ask any questions or concerns that he may have. Don't let little things like this rule your life, it's such a small annoyance really that you may have freaked him out but if you're open and honest about it (and if he is open and honest about it) you both can work it out. Happy talking!

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