Gender: Male
Location: Currently in Sao Paulo, Brazil
Occupation: Graduate School/EFL Teacher
Age: 23
Member Since: May 20, 2012
Answers: 32
Last Update: July 5, 2013
Visitors: 4257
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It is sure that after having sex... If we take ipill than there will be no chances of pregnancy... (link)
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There is no 100 percent way to avoid pregnancy. If you have sex, there is always some chance. However, taking precautions that chance can be reduced to almost impossible.
When you say ipill, what do you mean? If that is plan B, also known as the morning after pill then you should be alright. You should take one pill no later than 72 hours after you have intercourse. After that, it's success rate starts to drop pretty quickly.
If you are referring to a normal birth control pill, then taking one after sex probably won't do much good. My ex girlfriend's ObGyn told us that she should probably take it for one month before we stopped using other forms of birth control. Taking one single pill might slightly reduce the chance that you get pregnant, but I would not count on this as a form of contraception.
Regardless, your chances of getting pregnant even without birth control aren't anywhere near assured. Even if you are very young and fertile, whether you get pregnant depends on a number of factors. Basically, there is no way to guarantee you won't get pregnant, but there is no way to guarantee you are pregnant either. I would wait a week and then buy a pregnancy test.
I assumed you are a girl in this post. If you are the male partner, please accept my apologies. If you can clarify what you mean by ipill, I will update my post if necessary.
Good Luck
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I remember learning in high school that you don't bad-mouth your last job to your interviewer. But what about those job applications that include "Reason for leaving". What are all the acceptable things to put?
These are my reasons for leaving. Its not something I would put on paper or say directly to my interviewer but just to put it out:
My supervisor does not act like a supervisor
The management is awful
The workplace cared more about the quanitity than the quality (hired people with illegal pay)
And cheating employees of many other rights. (link)
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You can say negative things about your last employer, what you want to avoid is going overboard. If you go on and on for half an hour about how terrible the last company you worked for was, the new company will worry about how you might sully their image should things not work out. It also makes you come across as a generally negative person who most people wouldn't want to work with.
I would try to make it sound more like it just wasn't a good fit for you rather than saying they are a terrible company. Some things you could say would be:
"I didn't feel like a was able to achieve my full potential with my former employer."
"I felt undervalued by management"
"I viewed my former occupation as a job whereas I am looking for a career".
These types of things are critical but not overly negative of your former employee. These also say very clearly that you are looking for a job with a future in which you are respected by your superiors. This should help you find the type of employment you are looking for.
If you need any more ideas, shoot me a message.
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Hi. Im a 14 year old tall girl who has a big butt that never stops growing. I'm sick of guys pointing out my butt to me, even though it doesn't really bother me, it just gets annoying when they're always staring at it. It's disrespectful, and I don't like it. This isn't really the reason I want to make it smaller though. It's just an extra. The reason is that I love skinny jeans and when I try them on in the stores, they're fine, even kind of loose, but when I wear them about a month later, I either;
1) Notice that they are getting tighter and tighter by the day (and no, it's not because if the dryer)
2) Notice they don't close when I actually get them up, or
3) See that they no longer fit since my legs are STILL growing (I'm 5"9') and my butt always grows along with it.
Is anyone going through what I am? What would you do in a situation like this?
I've heard of so many different excerises that make your butt bigger, but that is definately not what I'm looking for. I want to know if anyone out there knows of an excersise to make it smaller. Thank you all for answering in advance! (link)
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It is very difficult to lose weight in a particular part of your body. When your body needs extra energy, it pulls fat from all over your body and converts it into said energy. Ultimately, if you want a smaller bottom, you will have to take smaller arms, belly, breasts, etc. along with it. It also depends on why it is that your butt is bigger than you would like. I have met people with just very large, muscular behinds. They aren't fat, they just have enlarged glutes. Then there are people that tend to store fat in one particular place.
(Note) "Glutes" is the term I'm using to refer to the muscles in your butt.
Ultimately, I would start a diet. Try to keep tabs on how many calories you are consuming a day. Don't fall for fad diets, in the end calories in versus calories out is the most reliable way to lose weight. Read food labels, jot down your portions, and avoid high calorie/low nutrition foods like french fries, cookies, and soda.
Second you will want to begin a cardio routine. Biking is a great activity that will focus on your glutes helping you slim town and tone your muscle at the same time. Running/jogging/walking is another good way to burn calories. The more steep hills you have where you run, the better it will work your glutes, if you are on a treadmill, try to find one that you can set to a steep incline for the best results. Lastly, the eliptical is a good low-impact option, but it doesn't focus specifically on your problem area, so use it as a supplementary exercise.
Lastly, you will want to do some weight or resistance exercises. You should use low weight and do a lot of repetitions. Using high weight will actually cause you to bulk up, which you are trying to avoid. Low weight will tone your muscles giving you better definition and reducing cellulite without making anything bigger. I would recommend squats, lunges, "step ups", leg press, and prone leg curls. You can also do a search for "glute exercises" or just "butt exercises" which should turn up a number of other options. Your goal here is to do 20-30 repetitions per set with 30 seconds to 1 minute between sets. You can do jumping jacks or run in place between sets to further speed up the process.
I hope this helps. Feel free to send me a follow up question.
-Follow up to address your question:
Biking will tone your legs and your butt. The degree to which it tones each will depend on how you bike. If you stay seated on flat ground it will mostly tone your legs. If you stand up while pedaling and add some hills to your route it will work more on your butt. Try to incorporate a mixture to slim down overall. Use a lower resistance to avoid bulking up in that area.
In the beginning (the first week or two) you may actually grow a little in this area. Don't worry, you are building muscle and retaining a little extra water. After this, you should slim down very quickly.
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Does anyone here think that a 14-year-old girl and a 17-year-old boy can't be together? And why?
I would like to know because everyone I've asked for advice about my crush, they just had to make a comment about the age difference.
Thank you in advance. (link)
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Legally, you are going to run into some problems next year when he is 18 and you are 15. Putting that aside it isn't necessarily wrong.
I would say that your maturity level is much more important than age. A 17 year-old is usually a lot more independent than a 14 year-old. They have a car. They go to parties, etc.
I think people primarily worry that you might be pressured into things like sex, smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. by being with someone older. Ultimately it comes down to whether you are able to act responsibly.
If you aren't sexually active, the legal problem is less likely to be an issue. Even if you aren't having sex in public, there is always the possibility of a jealous neighbor, classmate, relative calling him in. Check the laws in your areas and make a responsible decision accordingly. Ultimately it's up to you and to a lesser extent your parents/guardians.
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My man and I are trying to get pregnant. I started my cycle on April 23rd and it generally runs 28-30 days. We had sex on May 3rd-6th. So I Still haven't had my period and it's more than 30 days. I tested on day 30 and I just test yesterday but both have shown up negative.
I have had back pain and headaches, bloating and cramps that have been way more intense than normal. I have felt slightly nauseous a few times and my sense of smell is inhuman.
Could I be pregnant if the tests have both been negative? I know stressing about it can delay a period, that's happened to me before, but I haven't had symptoms before. What's the latest a pregnancy test can show up as positive?
Any input helps! (link)
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It is very possible that the tests just came up wrong. I would buy a couple more (get a few different brands) and see if that shows anything. Ultimately, going to a doctor is the only way to know 100% whether you are pregnant or not (for the first few weeks at least).
The symptoms could be early signs of pregnancy, then again, it could just be indigestion. There is also a slight chance of a false pregnancy (sometimes referred to as a hysterical pregnancy) where you start showing symptoms of being pregnant despite the fact that you're not. I'm not really qualified to tell you how to tell the difference but, you know, Google is always a good place to start.
Like I said, buy a couple different brands of pregnancy tests and try again. If you still haven't started your period in 7-10 days, I would consider going to the doctor to get it confirmed one way or another.
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if my boyfriend is black with a big penis and im white and a virgin, will sex hurt extremely bad the first time or first few times? (link)
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The color of his penis or your vagina doesn't affect how much pain you will have.
Most girls experience some pain there first time or first few times having sex. This will vary depending on your age, weight, height, and a number of other factors that can be difficult to predict. As a general rule, the smaller you are, and the bigger he is, the more it will hurt.
To alleviate this consider using lubrication. Manually or orally stimulating the vagina/clitoris prior to intercourse may also help you relax and make the experience more enjoyable. Overall, make sure he takes it slow until you are comfortable, and don't be afraid to ask him to stop if it becomes too painful.
Ultimately it's just impossible to tell how much pain you will have ahead of time. Trying to relax and enjoy the experience should help. Good luck.
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Samual if your reading this then i really need your advice, I don't know if you know me but I dont know who to talk or what to do, I tried talking to my counselor but she wasnt really any help at all, I can't afford a therapist because I do not have money, I tried talking to my mom about my suicidal thoughts but she said that I am just being overdramatic.
Please Samual what do I do? Who can I go to? (link)
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Thanks for writing. If your mother and your counselor weren't of much help, try talking to a teacher. It doesn't necessarily have to be your teacher if you don't want to have that awkward relationship in the future when you're in class.
Teachers cannot share any information relating to personal matters/suicidal thoughts with other teachers or students, so you don't need to worry about that. If you get to the point where you feel like you are actually going to commit suicide, call the police. They will respond. You may also go into a police station or fire department and tell them that you are having strong urges to commit suicide, and they should be able to point you in the direction of someone that can help you.
Many cities in the U.S. have places like Teen Matters that usually deal primarily with sexual issues in teens, but they can also help you find free healthcare regardless of whether it is a physical or mental health area.
Lastly, if you want to run your process by me, I am more than willing to try to talk you through it. Why exactly is it that you think things won't get better?
You can always send me an email at lingardsj@gmail.com if you want to communicate that way. Keep your chin up and trust me when I say thing WILL get better.
Take Care,
Sam
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Is it possible for a virgin to get an STD just by getting fingered?
(link)
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It is possible if the person had a cut on their finger, but it is extremely unlikely. You also risk an infection if their hands were dirty, but I would also classify this as "unlikely".
If this is for you or a friend, I would recommend paying close attentions for signs of an STD, but I wouldn't be paranoid.
To avoid problems in the future, make sure the other person's hands are clean before engaging in digital stimulation (fancy talk for "fingering"). You may also wish to ask the person performing the digital stimulation to wear gloves made of latex or a similar material.
Of course it's always best to get tested before engaging in any type of sexual activity, but as far as manual stimulation goes, there's a pretty low risk of anything going wrong.
Take care.
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I am pretty nice to the kids in my neighbourhood, and I think they're adorable and all. But I'm starting to get REAL annoyed, it's like I'm a kid magnet and they won't leave me alone. Seriously, no joke. They ring my door-bell right after they come home from school and they want me to play with them or take them to the park.. or they want to come inside my home and watch TV together or bake something together.
I don't mind it sometimes but I can't spend every minute of my day with them EVERY DAY. I go to school, I have work, and I need my own personal time. I think my issue is that I don't know how to say "no" and I feel like I'm being a bad person if I say no to them. But even if I say "oh no, not right now." They keep pestering me, and pestering me. What should I do? What can I do to create boundaries with them?
I can't even sit or eat in my backyward without them running over and invading my backyard. (link)
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I would agree that you need to communicate with the parents. They can better control when and where their kids can come visit you.
I have worked with children for about six years now, and if you want to communicate with them you will have to be firm and direct. Kids can be a little (ok extremely) pushy, and something like "not right now" becomes, "try again in five minutes".
Tell them that you need some time to take care of grownup stuff. If they don't listen, give them another warning but let them know that you are going to call their parents if they come back. At this point it is extremely important that you follow through with that if they do come back. If you don't, you lose credibility and they will walk all over you forever.
Children really do need boundaries in a situation like this. Unfortunately, they don't always pick up on the subtle hints adults are used to. It doesn't make you a bad person if you send them away, and you're unlikely to hurt any feelings too badly. Good luck and take care.
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So me and my boyfriend were on our scool email chat and he tells me that he is going to see his ex-gf from like 3 years ago, this weekend. I am super paranoid and jealous. His mom hates me and suggested that he go to the thing that she will be at, and said "Katlyn will be there". I trust my boyfriend but I don't know this girl and I'm worried. Also she will be going to the same church camp as him and I am even more worried. Am I being overly jealous or paranoid? Or is this a normal reaction? Thanks (link)
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It sounds like you are fairly young, so it will probably be a little difficult. Having serious conversations at your age is often viewed at awkward and not worth the effort. I would get together with him, tell him what your concerns are, but reassure him that you trust him. If you say explicitly that you are placing your trust at him, it will gnaw at the back of his mind should he feel tempted to stray.
I would also make sure you establish some way to keep in touch while he is away both now and when he goes to camp. It would be better to speak on the phone than to chat online. Even better would be something like Skype where he can see you. It's easy to get detached from someone after a time apart, and if you don't see or hear them, it becomes even easier.
If his Mom doesn't like you, you may want to address that situation as well. If she is going to constantly try and push him towards other girls, you need to figure out what exactly she doesn't like about you, or you will constantly be in this situation. Adults can be harsh, but their concerns regarding their children's relationships are often valid. If it's something you can improve (bad habits, poor school performance, how you dress, etc.), maybe you could consider making some changes to appease her.
If it's something you can't or are unwilling to change, you may want to confront her directly. Calmly explain to her that you care about her son and would love it if she could grow to accept you more as a person. If you can do this without getting worked up, she will most likely view you as a mature individual and respect you more as a result.
Besides raging hormones, a lack of communication is a serious reason why teen relationships fail. It might be a little awkward to confront your doubts within the relationship, but ultimately the relationship will last longer and be more enjoyable if you choose to do so early on.
Take Care,
Sam
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Can someone please help me, I have been really depressed for the past couple years, im 16 years old im really poor I have a dad who hits my mom, im 230 pounds ive been joining sports to lose weight( not working) my girlfriend cheats on me. I get into fights, I have hardly no friends, i have an anger problem and i pick fights with my dad. Lately after I found out my gf has been cheating on me, my depression has hit an all time high, I have been alienating my self from everyone for the past month. I had been having really bad suicidle thoughts lately, but I cant get myself to do it. Im not afraid to die, its just thought of how im going to die. Is there an afterlife, im I going to hell if I kill myself, will anybody care?. I just need someone to help me, because I have been driving myself crazy lately and im afraid I might do something ad. Can someone help me? (link)
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There are a lot of things to address here, but firstly let me say that suicide is not the answer.
If your dad is abusive towards your mother you can report it to a school counselor or teacher. While it won't necessarily fix the situation, they should be able to give you some advice. Try talking to your mom and really express how much it affects you. There are probably reasons (valid or not) why she stays with an abusive man. If it's money she's worried about, offer to get a part time job to help out. If she's just scared of being alone, reassure her that you'll be by her side if she decides to split up with him. She ultimately has to make the decision to leave him or seek counseling, but you can help her make that decision.
If your girlfriend cheats, you need to leave her. A relationship is about trust and communication. Cheating is probably the worst type of betrayal. It makes you feel worthless, and at times it can seem like there is no way out. However, if you let her abuse you emotionally, are you all that much different from your mother? Breaking up can be difficult, and it will suck at first. Sometimes you just have to break away and let the healing process begin. I promise you will get over her. It might take weeks, months, or even a year, but one day you'll be walking down the street and realize that you haven't even thought about her in a while, and you will be much better off at that point.
Losing weight can be difficult. It takes commitment. Counting calories is ultimately the easiest way to lose weight. It essentially comes down to calories in to calories out. I would try to focus on consuming no more than 2200 calories a day with at least 30 minutes of physical exercise every day. You will want to lower your caloric intake after a while to under 2000, but at your current weight, that should be fine. Weigh yourself every week or two. Don't do it every day or you might not see consistent improvements which can be discouraging.
At 16 you have a lot of changes in your near future. You will either be looking at college or entering the work force within the next couple years, and that could take your life in a much more positive direction. Things can suck in high school. People are mean, even cruel. You want more freedom, but parents seem to hold on even tighter. On top of this, you have hormones going crazy in your brain which can cause you to feel like you have no control at times.
Life is short enough as it is. Your current situation won't last forever, and the sooner you decide to do something about it, the sooner you can be on your way to a brighter future. Ultimately don't worry so much about the friends, girlfriends, and parents. It's your life and you should try to be the person YOU want to be. When you can reach a point where you truly love yourself, other things will start to fall into place.
Good luck. Take care. And keep in touch.
-Sam
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And how I could have done things better, so I wouldn't be this stressed out and unhappy. I basically have ruined my life. I feel like my life only progressively gets worse, because I allow it. I was happiest in early childhood, things started progressively getting worse after elementary school, all because I allowed it. I allowed myself to procrastinate and not participate in enough school events and have enough hobbies and that's been my downfall. I'm 18 now and i'm just so mad and I have dreams but how can I just forget the past?? but I want to but it's just so painful looking back, because as a kid I thought I'd have the typical teen experience with friends and everything and yet I didn't do that. I know some things are out of my control but I feel like I mostly could have prevented it. I just don't know how to move on even though I want to, but its like I'm just having this stupid mental block. I think this is due a lot to me being a perfectionist, and my parents basically expecting perfection even though they deny it (love is only conditional. now that i'm failing one subject they don't like me as much) and it just makes me like.. shut down, basically. i don't even have good social skills cause i've spent so much of my childhood on the computer. cause nobody really invited me for stuff and etc. and now i procrastinated applying to colleges so i'm going to community college even though my grades could have gotten me somewhere good, so now i have to do really good in CC and transfer. but i just need to get rid of this self sabotaging mindset and it's really hard cause i can't go to anyone, i dont have any best friends or anything, or even good friends. i don't think i'm this crazy weird person, i just have bad intimacy issues. i greatly fear getting close to someone and then them leaving me because they don't want to hear my problems so i keep my problems to myself. i've started going to a therapist but i hate how it's only once a week. i really hate being a human, i wish i could be more in control of my actions and not be led by emotions like I allow myself to be
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It sounds to me like you allow other people's perceptions of you to define your self image. You make references to concerns about your social skills and your relationship with your parents. My recommendation is to try to break away from that. Try to be the person you want yourself to be, and forget what anyone else says (even if they are your parents). The moment you can really come to like yourself as a person, your relationships with other people will improve. Also, the term "social skills" is a little overused. There are billions of people on this planet with vastly different habits, customs, values, and sense of what's "normal". Focus less on figuring out what you need to do to make friends and more on finding the friends that are going to like you the way you are.
You seem to have depression, which can be tough to get over. I would recommend filling your life with commitments. Get a job, volunteer, go to school, join a club, and in general do as much as possible. While that probably sounds like the least appealing thing in the world it should help. I have had (and continue to have) some problems with depression, and I find they are worst when I am home alone browsing the internet alone with my thoughts. Keeping yourself busy means you really can only focus on the task at hand. It also has the added bonus of giving you more opportunities to meet people.
Things will get better. Keep your head up and try to push through it. Often the first steps are the hardest. Good luck and take care.
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