about










Hello my name is FM. I believe Im the right person to give advice because I tell it like it is. I used to have my own email advice program, but it messed up. Feel free to ask me anything, Im all yours!

advice

dear FM,
so my boy friend broke up to me...for the second time in our 2 month relationship. he says that "its just not the right time">which i can understand, because he is a senior and he does need to figure out what hes going to do with is life. I'm more pissed off about him breaking up with me AGAIN, but i'm still hurt, because he tells me this after we've fooled around. I really feel like i want to hurt someone (basically him), but i dont want to be upset anymore!! How could i cope with this?!
=stranger=
p.s. i really need your advice

Dear Stranger,
Im sorry that he broke up with you. Being a senior shouldnt be a reason, he needs to really tell you why. Saying that its "not the right time" is a cop out answer. It kind of sounds like he was using you. Usually, Id give advice that was fair, but now, Im going to tell you that you should use him. (to get back at him that is). He is an ass for doing what he did to you.. Break his heart! I know that its a mean thing to do, but if he hurt you, payback should be a bitch!! Good luck!
~FM

[view]

dear fm
i want to see if you can help me out here. alright i know this girl who has a b/f but hes kand of a butt hole and i wouldnt dout if he has cheated on her and i know i would treat her better.the problem is im just a little intimidated i guess u coul say but i realy like her and its the first time in a while that i realy found a girl thats intersting and wouldnt mind spending time with. so please give me some good advise.
mr.Intimidated

Dear Mr. Intimadated,
Well you know, the worst thing you could do is keep the fact that you like her to yourself. Tell her, even if you think you wont get her, because you never know. My advice is, try to point out that her boyfriend is a bitch without being disrespectful to her or him.. Be her friend if she does decide to break up with him. Then tell her that you like her.. Good Luck!
~FM

[view]

Dear FM
=so i was "with" this girl for awhile. about 2 weeks. we live in different places so it was kind of hard to see each other. she called it off, because of how much time we didnt get to see each other. now out of the blue she wants to get back together. is this wise?=
stranger

Dear Stranger,
If you like her than yes.. If you dont then no.. Dont let distance stop you from caring about someone!! EVER!!
~FM

[view]

dear fm,
i think that one of my friends's boyfriend is either cheating on her, or is intrested in someone else and is leading his girlfriend on. she is my friend and i dont want her to get hurt, but at the same time...what should i do?
=stranger=

Dear Stranger,
I think you should point out to your friend the sings that make you believe hes cheating on her.. definatly.. If I was being cheated on, I wouldnt want my friends to keep it from me.. Its way worse that you didnt tell her than him doing it in a way.. Good Luck!
~FM

[view]

Dear FM~
so yea..whenever im alone with this girl,she makes me feel like i am home..whenever im alone with her,she makes me feel like i am fun again..and however far away,i will always love her..and no matter what words i say,i will always love her..and i just want her to know that this boy right here cries cause he cant see her when he wants to..i mean..come on,she makes me feel like i am free again..smiles and her laughter is the only thing that i've been waiting for..reguardless of our distance,our hope grows greater..i hope its something worth the waiting cause its the only time that i ever feel real..is bein with her..thunderstorms could never stop me,cause there's nobody in the world like her!!
oh yea..my question is a tomato a vegtable or fruit?? and what do they use in order to make dildos clear?
*~*BrightEyes*~*

Dear Bright eyes,
Thats really sweet that you feel like that.. Im totally, without a doubt, sure that your girlfriend feels the exact same way about you. She loves you very much and cant wait for the day till you are together again. But yes, your question, A tomato is a fruit.. and the other, they use paint or plastic or whatever in which there is no pigment, (which would make it not relflect or absorb any color, which makes them clear).. Good Luck with why ever you needed to know that..
~FM
Ps.. I love you..

[view]

WADDUP YA'LL!!!!!

Yo, this is Big Mike. First off I want to say, "Damn Christina, you got some pretty odd ass questions come your way. And why they al the same only different?" Yo, anyways... just wanted to say waddup to whoever read this. Ah yeah my question... "Why Me?"

Peace
-Big Mik

Dear Big Mik,
1. My names FM lol.. 2. Theyre all the same, but different because thats the feild that Im best in.. It says it on my site.. 3. and the asnwer to your question, is that there is no asnwer.. the universe works in mysterious ways you know.. Its hard to tell why anything.. Nothing can be proven for sure.. My advice is to ask me, why what or what to do or why and how.. Good Luck with that one..
~FM

[view]

how many cups of sugar will it take to get to the moon?- curious

Dear curious,
It will take 16.
~FM

[view]

Dear FM~
when i think about this certain girl..let it be think,be around,or talk to..its the only time i ever feel real.shes so amazing to me and the thought of being away from her makes me cry..and it sucks cause im always away from her.i just wanted to let her know that i will always love her and she makes me feel like i am home and whole again..its so ironic that a heart,easily made by man,when broken is easily fixed..

signed with mucho love and flowers for eternity,
Bright eyes

Dear Bright eyes,
that girl you talk of.. feels the same way.. shes always in anticipation of coming home and talking to you.. your the only reason she makes it through the day.. shes never loved anyone as much as she loves you.. it sucks that you cant be with this girl all the time.. I know theres nothing that she wants more than just to be next to you, for you to hold her hands and wisper in her ears that you love her.. i also know that this girl wants you to know that she will always love you too..
~

[view]

dear fm, can you help me get a girlfriend that is a rocker?
-borninglife100

Dear boring life,
well.. I dont know.. All I can say is that you should just talk to a girl that you like and tell her that you like her.. Why does she have to be a rocker? If you like a girl, then dont label her.. But yeah.. Talk to the girl you like and get to know her better, let her get to know you.. and then you can ask her out.. Good Luck!
~FM

[view]

Dear FM,
So i had this boyfriend, and he liked me..alot and i think more than i liked him, but he was around way too much, so i lied and told him i HAD to break up with his because of my parents. And i felt bad because he was heartbroken, but relived that he was hopefully going to leave me alone. But he didn't and he still is around all the time. But he asked me back out and I said no, and he still won't go away.

How do i get him to leave me alone without being mean. Please help.

---Annoyed, and confused---

Dear Annoyed,
Just tell him that you dont want to hang around with him. You have to use a little force to get what you want in life. You dont have to be mean, just tell him "(name here), I need some space. I still want you as a friend but a girl needs to do what a girl needs to do, you know?" If he doesnt take the hint then its fair game to say what you want because you tried to tell him in a nice way. Good Luck!
~FM

[view]

alrite so i go this friend lets call him bob well he is an asshole n all but theres just somethting about him i cant halp but like and yeah me and him had a thing for while but then that totally fell to shit so yeah me and him didnt talk for a while after that but now were really close and im not sure what im feeling for him but i cant tell if its like or jsut lust hmm what should i do i no that if i get bac with him than it will shit and i no it but if i dont then i no i will regret it!!! help me

~fucked and forgotten~

Dear Fucked,
I think you should just go for him. But that depends on why you broke up before. If you know that hes going to be a dick, then forget him. If you guys broke up for a dumb reason, then get with him again and give it another try. But if you think its just lust, then it shouldnt hurt when it doesnt work out. Unless you actually like him, and he doesnt like you. You already know what its like to break up with him so just go for it again. Maybe the 2nd times the charm! Good Luck!
~FM

[view]

Dear FM
I have an old best fried. I mean, ever since kindergarten. All of a sudden due to certain situations we have stopped being friends. She is running her mouth terribly, and all i want to do is either go hit her...or go yell at her. I hate being mad at her because she WAS my best friend. How should i handle this??

Dear Torn,
Talk to her.. If she was your bestfriend then you two should work things out.. It seems to me that its this time of year where everyone is fighting.. Same thing happened with me.. My advice is, just talk to her.. tell he whats bugging you.. And if shes really "running her mouth" then you have to find out why, and fix it.. Dont stay mad at her, you will regret it alot later.. Remember the saying, friends forever.. Good luck..
~FM

[view]

i am 16 yr. old girl..yea..so i like 2 guys actually..both live in different towns and only one of them really knows me.uhhh, the thing with that person is-i dont know how he feels about me...i met him like 9 yrs ago. and we did go out..but everything has just been totally screwy lately..i try to talk to him,:) but it just never works out.hes always with his friends..or practice>>>>>>and the other guy has from what i have heard never had a g/f..and and him and his friends are totally cool..i havent really even met this boy-but we have had our "moments"???!?.i want to get to know him better..but i dont know how he will react..dude, com'on we are in high school for christ.so what do you think? *lost and alone..

Dear Lost and Alone,
dont feel lost and alone, because your never truly alone. If the one that knows you doesnt have time for you then dont waste your time on him. The other guy, the girlfriendless guy, is the one you should go for. Because you can be his frist girlfriend. Its really not hard to get to know someone, just talk to them alot. While talking to him just hint that you are into him and he'll get the message.. High Schools tuff when your in these kind of situations. But try talking to the guy *the one who HAS time for you, because your time is special, he needs to see that*.. Good Luck
~FM

[view]

Hello, first let me tell you that I think what you are doing for people is great. I love your style, and how you are right to the point with your answers. Now for my question... Pretty much like everyone else, I like this girl that I know. And I know its wrong to want to take someone from their current relationship... but I really think she needs someone more stable. Dont get me wrong I am hella tight with her boyfriend, but I dont think he deserves her. I'm not even sure I deserve this person, she is much more than I could ever want or need. What do you think?
Signed,
Slowly Breaking Down

Dear Breaking Down,
Thank you for your compliment. Its good to hear that someone thinks i'm doing a good job. ok heres my advice for you: dont feel bad about wanting her, because shes probably a great person.. but, if she is with someone then you need to respect that.. If you even try to tell her that you like her shes probably going to think that you are trying to break her up with her bf.. so just wait.. you say that its not stable, then its probably going to end.. i wish you all the luck with her..
~FM

[view]

Dear FM,
I feel really lonely. Almost ALL of my friends have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, and I just sit there, watching them in their passion. I feel SO lonely. The only problem is! I dont want to date any of the people that appear to be intrested in me. Yes, I have people that I am crushing on, but, I am a shy person! I dont know what to do! And I am sick of being lonely. Please...help me.
Lost and Lonely.

Dear Lost and Lonely,
I think you need to take some courage pills.. no jk.. just be yourself.. and hey, you dont stay shy after that.. and go for what you want because you never know when that persons going to fall for someone else. If you like him/her go for it.. dont hold back.. act stupid if you have to because comedy works.. Good luck..
~FM
ps. if you cant be open around him/her u should talk to them when no one else is around.. cuz then theres nothing to be scared of..

[view]

Hi, my name is Greg. i live in a realy small town and there are a lot of cute guys there. no1 knows im gay becuse if they did they would kill me. theres a guy in my clas at school, named daniel, hes realy tall and skinny, and i have liked him for a long time. i dont know if he is a total fruit like me and im afraid to ask him. what should i do? if anyone finds out the town will find out very fast and my dad will kill me after my friends do. any help?
Greg V.

Dear Drew.. OOPS I mean Greg V,
tell him and be open.. but i know daniel and hes not gay.. hes really against it also.. sorry..
~FM
ps. FUCK U! u know i already have one gay ex boyfriend i dont need u as another.. even though i know this is drew..

[view]

dear fm,

okay. well. there is this guy i know. he used to be cool, but he kind of turned into a mattress warming slamhole. his girlfriend is THE BIGGEST BITCH EVER. all my friends want me to kick her ass because no one likes her, except i don't want her to press charges. i hate her more than life itself and i want to chew her jugular vein out of her neck or rip her intestines out through her eyes. there is nothing i want more than to see her unhappy but i don't want her parents to press charges. Please help me. if not i'll kill her by sunset. i can't stand her any longer.
thanks,
-turkeysandwich

Dear turkeysandwich,
1. turkey makes u sleepy.. 2. Why does everyone hate her? Or does EVERYONE really hate her or is it just your imagiation running wild with you? Im sure if you look at the bigger picture, I think that your jealous.. Im really not trying to sound mean but it comes off like that.. and as for her parents pressing charges, just take her on after school/work.. Im pretty sure if you hate her, the she doesnt like you either and that she wants to fight as much as you do but shes being the bigger person.. and thats what you should be doing too! be the bigger person.. by letting her piss you off then its her getting to you.. your never supposed to let your enemy get to you.. war is like football, u dont want the other team to know that your pissed.. that makes them push harder.. and makes you more vulnerable.. so heres my advice: be the bigger person.. show her that you dont really give a shit.. because then you win..
~FM

[view]

Hello.
What should I do when im home alone and horny?

Dear Homealone,
you call up someone and masturbate to their voice.. come on now.. everyone knows that.. if u dont have someone to call, u look at porn lol.. or!! just straight up masturbate.. lol.. thank you for asking.. i needed to lighten up..
~FM

[view]

alrite so i have this friend his name is pink and he has this gurlfriend named black. well pink is a great person and ever scince he has been with black he has been well a real ass hole to everyone! and i guess black is a real asshole herself! well i love pink but if i ever told him what i truly felt he would get all sad and mad at me! and if i told him anything about what me or any of my friends and his thought about black then he would like dis own me/us! i presonally dont like black and neither does really any one that i have talked to, and if pink found out then he would get all butt hurt like. either way i think black needs to just die and i dont no shes a real asshole in thier relationship so yeah i just dont want pink to get hurt.. what should i do??

Dear colorblind(haha b/c ppl arent colors not to be mean),
you dont mind if i call you that right? well.. if you had any common sense at all u would stay out of their relationship.. i know that you love pink *the guy lol im confused*.. and you want the best for him but hes got to see that black*the girl?* is a bitch.. if you try and tell him that she is, hes going to hate u.. just wait till they end.. if they do, like u said, u dont know if she is the asshole.. time will tell.. im sorry that the girl *i lost the color thing a while back* is an asshole.. but if pink*guy* likes her, then she must not be a total ass to him.. im sorry and good luck with trying to win pink*guy lol* over..
ps.. would have been easier if u just used names like "william" and "elaine" or something..
~FM

[view]

Dear FM,

I'm a single mother... and I'm only 15. He's four... the sad thing is that it's not even my kid. My parents are divorced. My mom left us and it's not even my dad's kid (I don't even KNOW who the father is). Now I'm stuck watching this almost five year old boy. He's violent and no matter how many times i try and tell to stop, he won't. I don't know what else to do, i mean... he cries if i tie him up. and I don't have enough money to pay for someone else to take care of him. I can't give him up for adoption because i'm not the legal guardian. There are times when i get so pissed at him that i just want to beat the living shit out of him and bury him in my backyard. What can I do (oh, and I don't go to a school that provides service, i haven't even GONE to school in a while)? Please... I really need youor help...

-another confused teen-

Dear Confused Teen,
wow.. Since your not the legal guardian, they cant do anything to you if you try and give him up. Hes not your problem, its someone elses, you just got stuck with him. I really think that you should have someone take him. Just call CPA, it would be so much better for the both of you. It would take him off your hands and it would help you out as well since your 15. I really feel for you even thought I could never imagine myself in that sitution. Please do something, ask for judicial help, THEY WONT DO ANYTHING BAD TO YOU! I swear. Its not your fault that your stuck with him. Trust me, they will help. 100%. If you need someone to talk to Im here.. My s/ns on here somewhere.. Good Luck, and please call CPA.. I swear they arent going to hurt you in anyway, they only make it better..
~FM

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker