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Q: What can I do?! We have been together for 6 years now, and I still have a really hard time understanding his sexual behavior. First of all, we are in our early 20s, and we usually end up having sex about twice a month. We are in our peak years, and we have sex twice a month! That wouldn't be so weird to me, if I didn't know he had such a huge sexual appetite. By that, I mean, he watches porn ALL THE TIME. He "sneaks" it, but I know he does it (which is no big deal). He has CDs and CDs full of it. Another thing, he is addicted to women, I guess. Strippers - he's ALWAYS going to the strip club. When we're hanging out with our friends, he sometimes sounds like a dirty sex pig with some of his little remarks and comments. This is what's driving me crazy - Why isn't he like that with the one girl he SHOULD be like that with? I am a girl that takes care of her body and I try REALLY hard to stay fit and eat right. I try to look like the women he's told me he found attractive and still be my own woman. I want him to be satisfied with me, of course. Sometimes I feel like his friends are more interested in me than my own man, and honestly, that feels really crappy.

The other night, we were laying in bed, and he thought I was sleeping, because he kept changing the channel to this softcore porn (well, it's the best he could get on the TV!) and trying to be all sneaky about it. I really don't care if he watches porn (and I've made this clear to him before), so I don't know why he felt he had to sneak, but anyway, he kept checking back to that channel. I rolled over and he quickly turned it back. This made me really upset. He has a girl right beside him wearing practically nothing, that would put out in a second (it's true!) and he'd rather sneak watching porn? Softcore to boot?!?! It starts making me feel like there is something wrong with me, and makes me feel like I'm unattractive. I almost feel like I need to go out to the bar just to get reassurance that I'm desirable (no, I know that isn't the right thing to do, and I'm not doing that). I can't figure it out. I haven't put on any weight, I've kept tone and fit, I have nice womanly curve (decent sized boobs, nice hips and butt, slim waist), I style my hair the way he likes, sometimes walk around in barely nothing, and I'm still unappealing?

I am an open-minded girl that loves sex, and my fiancé acts like sex with me is so unimportant. It doesn't feel very good. He knows I'm open to weird kinky things too so it can't be that I refuse "good" sex. I don't know how to go about fixing this. When I've spoken to him about it, he says that I'm just complaining, or "We don't HAVE to have sex all the time!" Well, trust me, we are FAR from all the time. I asked him if there was something I wasn't doing or some way to improve my looks/attractiveness but he says everything is fine between us and I'm just being a cunt at this point. I don't know what his issue is, but it's frustrating the hell out of me. I think he'd rather just jerk off to some crappy porno than have crazy, kinky sex with the love of his life. If that's what he wants then I NEED to KNOW so I can figure some way to cope with this. Does that make ANY sense?

How do I bring this issue up with him without starting a fight? Like I said, it's completely fine if he wants to watch porn or go to a strip club every once in awhile but I feel so unwanted at this point. He knows I'm always horny and ready to go at it but he'd rather not have sex with me. I'm confused and unhappy. I just want things to be normal. What do I do? What am I doing wrong? Please, please help me.

Honey, all of the others have had very long but very helpful answers. Im going to keep mine short.

1. You are in your early 20's! This is whats considered your "prime" and should be the best time of yourlife. most of the time sexx gets more scarce with age/marriage so if you think marriage will help him, you are 100% wrong.

2. Please, dont marry this guy. While he obviously needs help with this problem, its not your job to help him with this. You shouldnt be bothered with this crap!

4. from your description, you sound like a very pretty girl, get rid of this sleazbag. while it may be hard to ruin a 6 yr investment of your life, you will be much more happy in the long run with a guy that loves you! I PROMISE.

email me for any other advice or support. Ive been in this position before. Im here for ya girl

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21/f/houston

Q: i'm going away soon and knowing my luck i'm going to get my period =/ i'm going with my boyfriend and i never used tampons before...i've never been fingered or anything yet so i'm afraid like it won't fit...i tried multiple times and wasn't able to get it in...idk what hole to put it in really..does anyone know what kind of tampons are good for beginners and are good in water? and idk how to change them or anything please help.

I think I can belp you here.

First, you need to find the correct opening. First find your anus, and move 1 inch forward. You should feel another hole here. That is your vagina. Now sitting on the toilet, take the tampon and slowly slide it in at an angel that goes with your body. If you need to, look at the paper directions that come with the tampons. It will fit. Push the applicator in until the part that you are holding, where your fingers are, is up against your labia("lips") once you are there, use your index finger to push the top skinny part of the tampon, and this will slide the tampon inside of you. once you pull the applicator (the plastic) out of you, the tampon should be left inside of you. ****if you do this and it starts sliding out, you did not out it in far enough...and if it hurts, it may be in at the wrong angle. Just take it out by pulling the rope slowly, never fast. Keep trying. eventually after practicing, you will get it right and It will be comfortable. when its in right, you wont feel it at all, the only thing that should be hanging out is the rope.

As far as changing them, make sure you change it every 6 to 8 hours to avoid any types of infection. again, pull slowly, and insert a clean one. Its gonna take a little while to get it, but you will.

I had the same problem at first and was scared to use them at first. Now that I have, its much more comfortable than pads. thats for sure!

im here for ya. If you have any more questions or just need some support, email me. ill be happy to answer any questions for you.

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

hope this helped! :-) Steph 21/f

Q: my periods 3 weeks late
im very moody
ive gained weight
i get nausea, only thrown up once
im breakin out
im constipated
im very tired or get fatigue easily
my nipples hurt
i get headaches (which is normal for me though)
i pee a lot
ive been eatin like a beast
and ive had unprotected sex

so this means im probably pregnant right ? :/
16/f

These ARE very strong symptoms and it sounds like your pregnant. I would take a test because, the longer you wait, the more dangerous it will be. If you ARE preg, you need to start taking special vitamins as soon as possible. Dont be scared, try and handle it. Let me know if you need any advice or support, stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21/f/houston

Q: I'm 17/f and I don't even have my permit. Before you laugh and giggle in your computer chairs please understand that I would rather jump off of a building than drive a car. I've tried the whole empty parking lot, empty field, empty everything, but the second I start the car it's like I tense up. I hate it with a passion, but it's hard to watch my friends out and about with thier liscences (don't care if I spelled that wrong) and I'm still getting rides from my mom. I could have my own liscence right now if it weren't for the stupid panic attacks and the other people driving on the road. How do I get over this? Any one?

Thanks,
ScaredyCat

Hey. I want you to know that this is a common feeling among teens. I am 21 now and driving every day BUT when I turned 16 and got my permit, I REFUSED to drive. My parents got a car and tried to force me to run errands for them. It became a real problem for them AND for me. heres what I did:

1. I turned the car on in the driveway. I just left it in park. I literally just sat in the car and got more comfortable sitting in it and getting familiar with all the functions. I stayed for hours and did this for several days. I got comfortable enough to remember where all the things were without looking, like turn signals, headlights, windsheild wipers, etc. It really helped me feel more comfortable being in the drivers seat. You have to feel like the other side of the car is a part of you and you have to realize that YOU control the car, it does NOT control you.

2. Once I was comfortable in the car, i still wasnt ready to drive for real, so i practiced putting the car in reverse, and backing up to the end of the driveway. I WOULDNT PULL OUT, i would just back up to the end of the driveway, then stop, put it in drive, and move back up to the front of the driveway. Repeat this until you are comfortable and can change from forward to reverse smoothly.

BABY steps are key for this type of fear. Driving can be scary, but it can also be liberating, and often times when you are stresses or angry, going for a drive can be relaxing.

OK after the driveway stuff,

4. I went to a formal driving school. Once I learned all the capabilities of a vehicle, learned all the road signs, and the laws, I fet much better about trying to drive. ALso, working with the driving proffessors can be very helpful. They act as another set of eyes to look out for your safety.
***driving school can be rather expensive and isnt an option for everyone. If you cant go, a great alternative would be to take a responsible adult whom you trust, and having them work with you. Make them quiz you on road signs and signals. It will be fun and help make you more comfortable. Knowing all the facts will also make you a SAFER driver. and that is def a good thing.

5. once you are ready, start out with small "missions" for yourself. If there is a house on your street that is close, or if there is a nearby parking lot or gas sation, make that your mission for the day. say "I AM going to drive to the parking lot today." take someone with you if you think that will help (but let me say this, having someone ELSE in the vehicle always made me more nervous so I always preferred to do it alone. ) Dont turn the radio on, it can be a distraction, but if you cant stand the silence, turn it on very quietly so its barely audible. THEN_ complete your mission. Back out of the driveway, keep your eyes open, stay alert, and only go as fast as you want to. If people shoot past you, they will get over it, dont let them bother you.dont go any faster than you want to. THEN, once you get to your destination, put the car in park and sit there and reflect on what you just accomplished. Think and rest for a minute, then make the reverse trip back home.

**start out with short distance missions, and then every week or day that you feel comfortable, go a little bit further.

ending advice: other drivers are being cautious too for the most part. Make sure once you start driving on the road with other that you always follow your signs, watch for other cars and pay attention to signals. You will be driving in no time!!! sorry for the long post, hope i helped you out! I would love to find out hw my advice helps you, email me if you need more advice, or SUPPORT! im here for ya girl!

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

Stephanie 21/f/houston, tx

Q: can the gyno remove my hymen? will it hurt? i can't wear tampons because i think its like completely blocking the hole because it won't go in i tried lube and different positions and everything...

Actually, the gyno can "break" your hymen. Your Hymen is a thin flap of skin that is directly infront of your vagina. Usually, in most girls, this hymen breaks or tears within their first few years of sexual maturity, either by tampon use or their first act of intercourse. When it tears, it will be slightly painful, and you might bleed slightly, but this is normal. The hymen serves no purpose later in life contrary to what the first person said in their answer. The hymen gives no sexual stimulation or pleasure, like i said, its just a thin flap of skin. The pleasure station is the clitoris, and the "g spot" which is located along the lining of the vaginal wall.

as far as wearing tampons go, make sure your a CERTAIN you are putting it in the right place. if you arent sure, read the directions again and also talk to your gyno about what it could be thats preventing the tampon from going in. There are 3 openings down there, putting the tampon in the wrong can be painful and dangerous.

Hope this helps! :-)

bio

Hi! I'm Stephanie, I'm a 21 yr living in Houston, Texas. I've been living on my own since I was 17 and wouldnt have it any other way. Ive been through many bad things in my life. Instead of letting things hurt me and make me bitter and depressed, I have let them make me stronger. I can give great advice on almost any subject. Im getting married in December to a wonderful man named Chris, and will soon my a military wife! inbox me or email me anytime, id love to hear from you!

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com