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LaMasqueDuMinet the CheshireKatLocation:
Omaha, NEOccupation:
burlesquer-actor-model-musician-graphics editorAge:
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LunarKitty137Member Since:
March 20, 2006Answers:
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July 30, 2012Visitors:
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===IN THE THIRD PERSON:===Meet Kathryn: burlesquer, model, actor, ukulele-er, fantastic cook, and font of wise words and amusing anecdotes. She loves to listen to you and, if she can, help you with your troubles, or, if she can't help, direct you to someone who can. And that's why you're here, no? ~grins~
Kathryn is a person of wide and varied experience. Her only routine is to try something new every day. She has met many people in her travels from many different backgrounds, countries, and expertises. "Knowledge junkie" is something Kat frequently calls herself.
===THINGS I FEEL QUALIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE ABOUT:===
***romantic relationships
***general and nutritional health (I disclaim: I am not a doctor, nor a certified nutritionist yet...I merely have read a lot, experienced a lot in my own life, have personally heard testimonials on a variety of health issues and healthy lifestyle practises, and am a yoga instructor and Ayurvedic health consultant)
***sexual health
***technology (computers specifically, but other techie things like me too ^_^)
***philosophy, theology, and psychology
***social issues
***crafty artsy thingies (excuse the technical jargon)
===POSSIBLE POLITICAL/IDEALOGICAL CONFLICTS WITH YOUR OWN VIEWS:===
*I was raised as a Catholic (the Roman kind), I went to Catholic parochial grade school, I attended a Catholic high school (a Sacred Heart school), and now I attend a Catholic Jesuit university. Although I don't call myself Catholic or Christian, I respect and acknowledge the good things I was raised with.
*I am not prejudiced against any ethnic, socioeconomic, or cultural background.
*I am not prejudiced against any religion or spiritual path, including a lack of one (atheism, don't-give-a-damn-ism).
*I am not prejudiced against any sexual orientation or gender identity. I myself am romantically and sexually queer, physically female, mentally gender-f***ed. If you ever want to talk about sexual orientation and/or gender identity, don't hesitate to contact me! I am working toward a sexology degree, and these things interest me immensely!
*I don't care for politics very much, but I respect the people who are wise with their words and respectful to others.
===SOME QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE FOR ME (BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY ASK YOUR QUESTION):===
"You're only 24! You don't know anything about the world. How could you possibly give me advice on anything?" Perhaps I am fairly young to be giving advice to people. But I do know this: everyone who has ever come to me looking for counsel has always told me, either during or right after our "sessions", that I am not overly critical, that I am honest and fair, that I am sensitive and understanding, that I am open-minded and tolerant, that they can count on me to give a good outside objective perspective, and (something I think is most important in being an advisor) that I am a good listener.
"What types of things do you give advice on?" Well, I can give you advice on almost anything, really. If I personal experience with what you're asking about, I'll patch it through. If I don't, I'll put in my two cents and let you know where you can get more firsthand knowledge.
"Why do you write sooooo muuuuuch?"
I'm a writer, I blabber sometimes, heh. I do take a lot of care in my writing though, I want to give you a well-thought-out answer. But the other reason I write so much is because I don't want to give you a one-sentence reply, unless it's to a very black-and0white question like "What time does 'House' air on Tuesday in Cincinnati?"
===IN CLOSING:===
You got questions? Lemme at 'em!
I wish you all lives filled with tasty food, goofball antics, and people you love to share them with you.
~*Kathryn*~
advice
Ok so I just got back from church camp and I met this guy! we have been texting and I'm really starting to fall hard for him! But we live 30mins away and this weekend he says he wants to hang out...and I'm so happy! But then he says he would really like to make out! I'm 15 and never have done it. I NEED TIPS!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!!
Dear Camp Wannaboyfriend,
Whoa, slow down there, camper, don't get your fishing line into a knot. ~grins~ Ok, I'll dispense with the camp puns...
It's a great feeling to be all googly-eyed over young camp love! Most of us don't get to see our summer sweethearts again, but it's nice when you get the chance.
A few things to keep in mind: out in the real world with the honeymoon haze of summertime fun gone, you both might feel a bit differently about each other. You might find each other not as interesting as you did at camp...or you might think the other person is even cooler than before!
Then again, texting/Facebook/AIM is not--and will not ever be--equal to face-to-face time spent together. It's always a good idea to get to know someone in the same room as you rather than digitally.
As far as anything physical goes, did he tell you specifically he wanted to make out? If so, it's fine if YOU want to. Have you been kissed before or kissed someone (in a romantic way that was short, sweet, and not making out)? Just make sure you're not rushing yourself into anything, especially since you're new to it. Boys can be nice. They can also be...not so nice sometimes. Also, you mentioned you two met at Church camp; if you consider yourself to be religious, then you might want to think about what making out can lead to, and whether or not it conflicts with what you believe spiritually/religiously.
My basic concern is that you don't put yourself in a situation where the other person expects you to do something you're not ready to do. I hear stories all the time from girls your age who talked a lot with a guy via texting/Facebook, the guys asked them to hang out, and the girls let themselves fall into a situation where they were uncomfortable with what the guys wanted to do with them, and sometimes unsafe as well. My intention is not to scare you, just to remind you to be aware of what's going on, to not be naive, and to watch out for yourself.
That being said, if you DO feel ready to become physically involved with another person, take it slow, be aware of what both of you want, and don't stress out about it! Kissing is supposed to be fun! If it's not, then just quit for a while and try again later if you feel comfortable with it. Hang out with each other beforehand, be comfortable, play a video game, watch a movie, take a walk, talk to each other and tell stories; it'll happen on its own eventually. It's something that gets better with practise, and if you think your summertime guy is someone you want to practise with, then go for it!
Hope this helps! If you want to talk about it more, just email me. Good luck!
~*Kathryn*~
14/f
I was just wondering why people say not to shave or use hair removal creams on your upper lip. If it's bad then what are some other ways to get rid of it? And am I too young to worry about it? My mom says I am but guys make fun of me.
Dear Wish-Upon-A-Razor,
Body hair is always fun to deal with, isn't it? As to why people generally discourage shaving hair on the upper lip or using depilatory creams: the skin on a gal's face can be very sensitive, and the burns from a razor or chemicals can be more noticeable than the hair you were trying to get rid of. Gah, the irony!
===THE SHORT ANSWER:===
Skip down to "OPTIONS".
===THE LONGER ANSWER...READ ON!===
Worrying doesn't have age restrictions; we all have little things that bug us about our appearances, especially when there's immature boys about who simply must deflect their own insecurities onto others. ~twitch~ But oftentimes, we're overthinking it and making mountains out of molehills (or giant moles out of beauty marks?), so step back and analyse things...you know, very scientifically. ~grins~
===SCIENTIFIC-TYPE QUESTIONS:===
*How dark is the hair in comparison to your skin tone?
*How coarse is the hair: beard-like and pokey or thin and whispy?
*Does the hair grow thickly or is it patchy or are the hairs more spaced apart?
*Are the hairs long and obvious, or short and peach-fuzzy?
Basically, the darker/longer/thicker/coarser the hair is, the more reasons you might have to remove it.
===OPTIONS:===
***Forget about the boys and their comments (ok, that part is more of a Must-Do!). It's most likely not a giant bushy redwood forest living under your nose, but even if it was, those boys can go take a long walk off a short pier. See if you can learn to not mind it. Trying to change it might be more trouble than it's worth.
***MY #1 CHOICE IS PROFESSIONAL WAXING: Waxing is efficient, effective, and long-lasting! Talk to your mom about getting your lip waxed by a licensed esthetician. If she still insists you're too young to worry about it, let her know it's causing you anxiety and that you would at least like to try it once to see if it helps. Do some extra chores to pay for it even (don't worry, lip waxes are usually only $7-15)! The esthetician can also analyse your skin to make sure waxing is the best option.
AFTER you go see a professional, then you might explore more in-home options, such as shaving, tweezing, using depilatory creams, and at-home waxing kits.
***MY #2 CHOICE IS SALLY HANSEN WAX STRIPS: These little guys are great! Two strips of plastic with just the right amount of wax in between them; you warm them up a little in your hands, peel them apart, place, press, pull, ta-da! Before you try it on your face, do one or two practice ones on the top of your thigh so you get the hang of the prep and the proper movement. And leave your eyebrows to the professionals, young lady. ~wink~
Here the product info and a few places you can find them.
http://sallyhansen.com/products/hair-removal/wax/naturally-bare-waxing-strips-faces-little-spaces
Walgreens, Walmart, CVS, some grocery stores in the pharmacy section.
***MY #3 CHOICE IS SHAVING: But if you already shave your legs and/or armpits, PLEASE, DO NOT try to use that razor on your face!!! I had two friends in junior high who tried this; one girl irritated her skin so much it was red and bumpy for weeks, and the other girl actually cut her nose!
There are small handled razors that are specifically made for shuffling away upper lip and sometimes eyebrow hairs, but in my experience these really only work on the fine, whispy hairs. My esthetician prefers these to waxing because constant waxing can be harsh on the skin.
***MY #4 CHOICE IS TWEEZING: Do you tweeze your eyebrows? If the upper-lip hairs grow sparsely and are about the same thickness/coarseness as your eyebrow hairs, you could always remove them with your handy-dandy tweezers! But if the hairs are peach-fuzzy, you'll find this to be the most painful and time-consuming method.
***MY #0 CHOICE (MEANING I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE) IS DEPILATORY CREAMS: If nothing else seems to be working, or if you're in a pinch, then chemical creams can do the trick, but they really do a number on your skin. If you ARE going to use a chemical cream, do your research and find a mild one (Google results of "mild facial depilatory" http://is.gd/DUz17V) and DO NOT use the Surgi-Cream Extra Strength stuff (again, friends from school who snuck into their mom's bathroom cabinet...not a pretty picture!)
***Someday, electrolysis might be affordable enough for us regular folk. However, this is more of a last-ditch, over-kill option for people with EXTREMELY DARK and COARSE hairs.
===REMEMBER! WHATEVER METHOD YOU USE...==
...make sure you're taking proper care of your skin, and wait at least a week in between hair removal methods! Especially in your early teen years, trying lots of wacky things on your face in a short amount of time can set off a chain-reaction, that can start as a rash but get bumped up to a breakout overnight. Be kind to your skin...wash with mild cleanser and water before and after waxing, plucking, shaving, and especially using chemical hair removers. And don't forget the moisturiser! Long thing strips of cucumber soaked in cold chamomile tea can also help soothe a stinging upper lip (plus, chamomile has a mild lightening effect on hair!)
===IN CLOSING:===
One of the reasons your mum might be saying you're "too young to worry about" these sorts of things could be because she doesn't want you rushing yourself into mid-20s beauty regimens until you're...well, in your mid-20s! Many moms remember being 13 or 14 and wearing waaaaay too much makeup and stressing over wearing anti-wrinkle masques when they should've just been relaxing and having fun.
It's great to take pride in your personal appearance, you just have to be careful not to overdo or neglect your inner beauty in the meanwhile!
Hope this helped! Good luck!
Any more questions? Just ask me! http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=CheshireKat
~*Kathryn*~
i am really good friends with this family, theres 5 kids. four sister and im friends with all of them the oldest sister is in 10th grade then 2 twins who are in my grade and a younger one whos in 6th [im going into 8th]
im really good friends with all of them
anyways so lately the oldest one has told me that she wants to start smoking/pot and stuff
she asked if i would think of her any differently/etc i said no i wouldnt think of her different although i dont think smokings the best thing.
she just messaged me that her and this guy [who i also know, not really friends with or anything] are going to meet up next week and smoke. im not sure if its pot but it might be.
i wasn't exactly invited to go with them but like if i really wanted to, i could and it wouldnt be like a big thing.
but im not really sure what i wanna do because as i look at it i know a lot of people who smoke/drink and other stuff.
i kind of do want to see what its like but im an athlete and im afraid it would mess me up too much.
i really dont know what to think anymore.
sorry, kind of long.
13/F
ok, sorta had me confused there at first, but ah well, i got it sorted out in the end. ^_^
psh, not long at all dolly! just wait until you finish reading this. THEN you'll see what "long" is.
all right, so we'll call your 10th grade gal pal "avi" and her guy friend "benny". sorry, that's kind of what i always do to make things simpler me to write about and for you to read. ^_^
not a fun situation for you, my dear. not even really fun for avi and beeny either. i'm not gonna tell you that smoking cigarettes and smoking pot are "wrong" like in a moral sense, because that makes no sense to me. it is "wrong" in the sense that it's illegal. marijuana is illegal to have in one's possession AND it's illeagl to smoke it. it's illegal for anyone in the U.S. to smoke cigarettes, cigars, tobacco in a pipe, etc., until they are at least 18 years of age.
i can't say i've never smoked, because i'd be lying; however, i don't make a habit of it. i've smoked a puff or two and sometimes maybe half of a cigarette no more than 7 or 8 times in my entire life. i've never even smoked a whole cigarette. i once smoked part of a small cigar, too. never smoked pot, though i have been around people who have and have been in rooms where people have been smoking it. it kinda sucks. gives me a headache and stinks up my clothes.
chances are that avi has a reason she wants to go start smoking. even though i'm a bit surprised to hear it, i'm very glad to hear that she told you about it. however, you phrase it interestingly: "[she] has told me that she wants to start smoking/pot and stuff". so she hadn't really ever smoked before when she told you she wanted to start doing it? it makes me wonder about whether or not she's actually smoking at all. there's always the chance that she told you she wanted to smoke and asked you about what you'd think of her if she did, all because she wants you to see her as a cooler person. or maybe saying that she's going to smoke pot makes her feel better about herself. it's hard to say.
but of course, we must always think there might be a chance that she really is smoking. as an athlete, you know that things like that can screw up your weight, your metabolism, your muscles, your heart, etc., so i'm glad that you don't want to go do it. the bad thing is that in my research (yes, i've studied a plethora of things on drugs in my spare time ^_^ ), i've read a lot of studies that show that pot can act as a "stepping stone" to using other, more dangerous, drugs. so if she has started to smoke it, she very possibly might be going down a bad road. again, as i say in my profile, i've actually known and actually known/know people who did/do drugs; i know what can happen because of it.
while i press you to talk to avi about this and let her know that you don't think it's a very good idea, and while i don't want you to go start doing it, i can't stop either of you from doing it. both you and she have to make your own decisions. YOU have to decide that you're not going to do it. YOU have to decide that smoking of any kind is really not good for you body, and can have serious and sometimes permanent effects on your mind and on your emotional state.
if you find that this is a problem with her, keep gently reminding her that she could hurt herself, and that it's hurting you too. she's your friend; she most likely will listen to her. if it becomes too much of a problem and she won't listen to you, give her a few chances to quit it on her own, but then (i know it sucks...) you've got to go to an adult. a parent, a teacher, some adult you really know and trust. even an older girl that might know avi that might be able to knock some sense into her.
a few last thoughts... don't assume too much right away, make sure you have the facts before you do or say anything. be up front with avi about it, let her know you're a little worried and you just want to make sure she's ok. don't try and threaten her with "i'm gonna tell you/my mom if you don't stop" unless it gets to be really out of hand; it'll be harder to have her listen to you if she doesn't trust you or if she feels like you're trying to control her. tell her (especially if she pulls the "it's MY life, and i'll do what I want!" line) that even though it IS her life, and even though she has to make her own decisions, you don't want to see her hurt and you just want what's best for her.
feel free to email me directly. i would be more than happy to talk to you about it, and i'd especially love to hear feedback and updates on the situation. i love it when people tell me how things are going with them.
hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
hey i was lookin at your site, and i noticed i absolutely love your dress!
(so id like to know where you got it?)
glad to hear it you loved the outfit! ^_^ that was my ensemble for a costume party my friend kat had (yeah, it's funny, together we're kitty-kat :P ), she called it "the devil's masquerade costume ball". the party was awesome and this was one of my best costumes ever, if i say so myself (well, i guess i just did say so myself, so...)
the costume consists of many pieces, actually, it's not all one dress.
the top half is a corset i bought of ebay, really supposed to be more of a clubbing kind of top. ^_^ it's a little big for me so i had to tie it extra tight. this corset is definitely a good design because while it does have the actual laces in the back, it also has a zipper on the side. good for quickly get into it...and out of it. ~_^ ouch! er, i mean, um, there was no innuendo in that last sentence...
the skirt of it is actually a dress, one that i wore for winter prom. it's just strategically folded and tucked. and i've got the black satin ribbon from it around my waist too. on the back for the "bustle", i used some spare black tulle i had, again strategically tucking and folding.
underneath i have a pair of flesh-coloured tights and over those a pair of fishnets that sort of have that line up the back that the traditional style have, but instead of a straight line of just one seam, it goes up the back of the leg with a bunch of little figure-eight/ovals. i probably make little to no sense, but that can be rememdied. ^_^; and then because the dress was tucked kind funny in a few places, i wore the bottom piece to a set i got at hot topic (just in case i accidentally flashed someone): kinda like black velvet panties but with like a little skirt of layered red lace. plus, a black satin and red-fuzzies garter i got free with some thing i bought off of ebay (i sound like an ebay addict now, don't i?).
the only thing i remember brand-wise is that my shoes were CL (chinese laundry), ha. :P i can look to see what brand the dress if for you. hup, wait, never mind, i remembered. ^_^; it's from cache, a rather pricey place, but they've some gorgeous clothes there. i got this one on sale, since it had been out for a year, i think for about $80 or so. every now and again, you can find a lovely keeper on cache's sale racks. ~_^
i'd be more than happy to send you more pictures that show more of the costume and how i did it all. feel free to email me again if you want those pics and/or any more weird'n'random costume/clothing words of wisdom.
thanks for the question (and for the adding me as a favourite ^_^)!!
~*kitty*~
hayyy whats your sn ??
who wants to know, and why? :P today's lesson kiddies: don't give out your info online too freely, haha.
i'll answer the questioner's question if they'll give me some more info, heh.
this kat's signin' off for now, parce que she is berybery tired from being a counsellor at camp.
~*kitty*~
this shall be long. i dont even kno where to begin. so, i met this guy.. 3ish months ago i believe.. n since then, weve become like best friends. i talk to him every day n we can talk about everything n jus yeah, were real cool with each other. well, hes liked me as more than a friend for about 2 months now.. n lately hes really gettin to where hes real open about it. like seriously jus about every day hes always sayin how amazing i am n how he likes me more than i could ever kno n how any guy who goes out with me is so lucky.. blah blah blah, n i do believe hes serious about it. n ive been kinda actin like i like him too but not really.. like he'll tell me he loves me n stuff n i wont say it back, ill jus smile n say 'i kno' or ill joke it off n be like 'im suuurre you do' or somethin like that. he doesnt mind that much that i do that, but like whenever we go places together or whatever ill let him hold my hind or put his arm around me.. n tonight he gave me a good nite kiss for tha first time. im really wondering what i should do.. bc like i think he may realize that im not sure how i feel about him.. and im kinda in that position where, i do kinda like him as more than a friend, but i dont think i like him enough to go out with him.. and plus im totally not into gettin in a relationship rite now. bc firstly im lovin the single life n also bc like last month i met this other guy n i fell real fast for him but that ended up not workin out soo maybe im not quite over that feeling?? i dunno what to do if he asks me out like fer real.. cuz i dont wanna say yeah n not be into him like i should be to be goin out, but i dont wanna lose him either cuz im real afraid if he asks n i say no that things will be real different between us n ill regret sayin no n wish i coulda had him. im sooo lost =(
wow, lately i seem to be finding a lot of these questions where someone has a friend who likes them, and they're not sure what to do about it. i hope this doesn't sound too bad, but, perhaps this is the beginning of a kinda good trend?? :P i mean it in the sense that not so many people are worrying too much about the likes/loves of their lives. not there's anything wrong with that; but i digress (and so early in the answer too!).
well you caught me at the right time to ask me a question like this. just met a guy and you've become great friends, he likes you, you almost think you may like him (just not quite enough to date him), it's difficult to be sure about how to act at certain times with him, et cetera, et cetera... i was at a performing arts festival this weekend, and i only knew one person there (from the beginning, outside of the festival). it was my friend raevyn*, who i actually dated when i was a freshman. for a while after we broke up, it seemed like he didn't want to talk to me even though we said we'd still be friends; apparently i was COMPLETELY WRONG. ^_^; sorry, random tidbit for any other people this happens to; sometimes it just happens that you don't talk much for a while, and then suddenly, BOOM, you're friends again, even better than before!
anyways, my point on how you caught me at a good time. now, obviously these people weren't completely serious (at least i don't THINK so...), but do you know how many marriage proposals i got?? five. three from girls, and two from guys, all of whom i adore. the girls' proposals i was used to (and guinevere* is going to be my wife-in-law so... ^_^ ), but the other two were different than my normal requests-for-my-hand. the first came on the second day at the festival: auberon* and i were sitting at a lunch table with lots of other people so we were all squished up, and i said something profound or very intelligent and he suddenly looked me straight in the eyes and dead-seriously asked "will you marry me?" well i'm not gonna think he means it! he lives in illinois, and we're not even 20 yet (and i have a boyfriend of almost two years of whom i'm rather fond of... ~_^ ), so i said in my natural playful way, "why of course i will! how could i say no?", and we played it like we were promised to on another and introduced each other as fiancee for the rest of the week. a few minutes later he proposed to guinevere*; i didn't know it at first, i asked him something and he turned and put his arm around her and said...
AUBERON: "i just asked her to marry me too."
KITTY: "oh, how wonderful! can i still play with guinevere?"
GUINEVERE: "what are you talking about? he's still going to marry you too!"
AUBERON: "i'm going to be a mormon, so you'll both be my wives."
KITTY: "ah! of course, what a great idea! that means we'll be wife-in-laws, guinevere*!!"
(the second proposal from a guy came indirectly on the last night. on a napkin he wrote "lysander levushka* (your future husband)" and then his email address. he hugged me a bunch, gave me a few kisses on the cheek, wants me and him to sing a duet next year... that seems to fit with my other four proposals. ^_^)
blah, so, THE POINT of my preceding prattle, which i draw directly from the piece i performed just last night: don't take life so seriously. just take things as they come. don't plan ahead too much. and don't think too much either. how's that for wisdom so far? hm, that sounds pretty dull, doesn't it? well, it'll sound better...with music!
you guys are young! it's good that you're friends, you should stay that way as long as you can. don't rush ahead, take the time to get to know each other and hang out and gain great memories. as for him putting his arms around you and holding your hand and whatnot, if it doesn't bother you and you both communicate and understand that this kind of physical contact doesn't imply (or even necessarily refuse future) different feelings you have for him. again i look at my guy-friend relationships: raevyn*, my freshman bf i just re-met, tickled and held me and cuddled and snuggled with me every chance we got, especially last thursday when a bunch of us were all watching "family guy" at someone's host family's house. the only reason we're comfortable doing that is because we are such good friends, b/c we love each other to death, b/c we are such close and kindred spirits, that we know that nothing like that is going to happen (i have a boyfriend and he has a near-fiancee--the real kind ^_^ --).
so, bwaHA! i have bested you at longness, methinks. :P you're not lost, lovey. you're just sitting on a rock in the woods, wondering about moments that you've had and could have and might have someday. (wow, two broadway musical references in one answer...i need help...)
anyways, if you have any other questions or news on the situation or any other info you'd like to give me, go ahead and email me again. i'd love to hear from you!
hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
POSTSCRIPT: names with "*"s after them have been changed for privacy reasons and for my own general amusement.
im in the same situation as the other girl. one of my guy friends likes me as more than a friend. he's told me so a thousand times and hes been wayyy more flirty with me n he always hints that he likes me. i dont know if i like him or not.. but i havent been flirting back or anything hoping he'll get the hint and kinda back off. we're kinda in that "more than friends but less than going out stage", like we both know theres something there but were not doing anything about it. but honestly, the more i think about it, id rather just be friends with him.. i mean i dunno, i realize i like him more than my other guy friends, jus not enough to go out n be more than friends with him, you know? well i was talkin to his brother n he wants me to give it a chance bc he thinks we'd be a good couple & what not. also im worried my friends gonna try to kiss me bc he keeps actin like he wants to n keeps hintin that hes plannin on doin it sometime.. well i dunno if i should let him.. bc that could be like leading him on but also itd be like a way to find out how i really feel about him right?? ahh hellppp mee thx
(sorry it's taken me soo long to get this answer out!! i've been away at a performing arts festival)
real quick, i love your drawn out cry for help at the end there. ^_^
took me a second to remember which girl you were talking about, but i gotchya. who says girls are the only confusing ones?? both sexes are equally screwed up, screwed up and crazy i say!
now although you say you've not flirted back with him, you've got to remember that if he takes something else you do (for example, remembering to call and say hey how was your day) he may take that as you liking him. we all think silly things at times. when you say you like him more than your other guy friends, what do you mean? because there are all different sorts of love (like in this case, but i don't need to rephrase everything). do you feel like he's a best friend, someone you care for like a comrade, someone you feel you could freely tell the bawdiest thing you've ever done to, someone for whom you'd throw yourself in front of a bullet for? do you feel like he's a brother, someone who's like a relative who you love hanging out with, someone who's older and wiser and can give you a different perspective on things?
as for the saying he's planning to kiss you thing, i've got examples that would both refute and confirm that he's not kidding. first off, good ole seanzy, my buddy with whom i flirt shamelessly and crazily ostentaciously, and he flirts with me as well even more so. but we've never acted on these things, not in 7 years! now for the other example...
i have this one guy friend (although i'm not sure i could really call him much of a friend now), we'll call him almo. he and i became friends about a year ago, and he obviously liked me (and wanted me... -_-; ), even when he was still going out with his girlfriend cookie (name change). after she broke up with him (she has guy A.D.D., ha) almo tried to go after me (and still is trying from a city an hour away) even though he knew/knows that i had/have a boyfriend, but it became more so that he wanted to *do* me rather than *date* me :P (sorry for the crudeness, kiddies).
anyways, i'm not saying that your guy friend, parnell (i bet you all thought i was going to forget to name him, didn't you? ~_^), is just trying to snog you, i'm just throwing out my own experiences.
so to summarise and wrap it up and conclude, just be honest with him, really. make sure that both of your thoughts are all out there. unless you two are psychics, how can you expect to know what the other is thinking unless you tell them??
i hope this helped, sorry again for the lateness. if there's anything new on the situation or if you've anything else to add or say, feel free to email me again. good luck!
~*kitty*~
whats it mean if someone tells you youre thick ??? i hear guys say it to gurls all the time.
well, first off, it's rather rude of these boys to call anyone thick. if they're specifically saying it to girls, they might have a meaning of their own for the word, but usually it means slow (in the head) and stupid. i'm sort of glad you asked me the question instead of those guys; they might have given you an answer like "you're thick for not knowing what thick is".
i kind of feel like telling you to say that i called them a bunch of pricks, see what they say then. but i won't. that would be rude.
thanks for the question!
~*kitty*~
I have a fever..its 102.4 and my tonsils are swollen. I have a sore throat and my ears hurt. I have a head ache. I'm achy everywhere, My eyes are sensitive to light, and my neck is really stiff. Yeahh I REALLY don't feel good..AT ALL. Any idea on what I might have or whats wrong?
damn, 102.4, that is a most suckish temperature to be. and all the other stuff probably doesn't help. since you're sick you're probably lieing in bed a lot, which contributes to the overall achiness and the stiff neck (and if you've got the lights off and you're watching tv maybe, that could also affect your eyes' sensitivity to light).
i find the simple old ways work just as well as these silly newfangled pills'n'such. :P drink lots of water, quietly rest a lot but still get up to keep your body from atrophying. guava nectar always helped me feel better for some reason. sobe drinks are good too, and frozen slushie-like ice gatorades. ^_^ now, if you're really feeling like crap and this lasts more than a few days, definitely go see a doctor. like the person before me said, it could possibly be tonsillitis and that would suck majorly if you didn't do something about it soon enough.
feel better soon.
~*kitty*~
so it goes like this... one of my best friends is a guy, and he likes me as more than a friend and stuff and hes told me that, like a month ago and jus earlier this week. well im kinda a natural flirt and ive realized that maybe before like a month or more ago i was kinda leadin him on w/o realizin it but ive tried hard to stop doin that bc i only like him as a friend and i dont want him to get tha wrong idea. well i was wonderin if we were to go to tha movies or somethin and i were to let him hold my hand or put his arm around me or somethin.. would that be bad and be like leadin him on all over again? bc i dont wanna act all cold and jus move away from him or w/e. im so lost, i really dont wanna hurt him bc he still means alot to me as a friend :[
ah, the curse of natural flirtatiousness, i know it well (because i've got it ^_^). actually, it's a blessing and a curse, because it makes you friendly and lets people get to know you easily and feel more at ease around you.
*were* you leading him on? unintentionally, i mean. i suppose a better question would be, did he think you were hitting on him (with real intent, not just with the natural flirtiness)? if he didn't tell you specifically that you were, then you probably can't really know. so ask him. sure it might sound weird, but go ahead and say that to him. "jake," oh yeah, that's my pseudonym for the guy-friend here, "jake, this is kinda weird, i'm not trying to creep you out or anything, but have you ever felt like i was hitting on you? i mean, really seriously hitting on you?" if he asks why you're asking, you can just say that a few people were saying that you were too much of a flirt and that you were leading people on, and you wanted to know his opinion on the matter.
how did he tell you that he "liked you as more than a friend"? not being sceptical of boyo's feelings here, just giving you something to think about. think about his tone and his body language and what his eyes did. just recently i had a friend (renamed "hannah" for advicenator purposes) who had a lot of problems with one of her guy friends (renamed "jarrod"). the two of them were friends at first, then dated for a few months, then jarrod broke up with her and went back to his old girlfriend (who had broken up with him like two other times) and was an super-sappy-overly-sorry ass about it, his old girlfriend broke up with him again, jarrod tried to go back to hannah, they were a little more than friends for a while (FWBs...), hannah thought about trying again with jarrod over the summer, soon realised that that would be a BIG mistake (he's way too clingy, whiney, spineless, incorrigible, inconsiderate, and passive-aggressive), jarrod still liked hannah and kept trying to go out with her again, she let him hug her when she was having a bad day sometimes and he tried to kiss her three or four times in two days (boy was she STEAMED), and now she mostly ignores him when she can because she knows he's not good for her and i've told her so.
what was my point again?? oh yeah. depending on how this jake of yours is, how he looks at things, how laid-back he is, will affect how he interprets you letting him hold your hand or put his arm around you. you don't need to be cold. if you really feel like he's gonna pull a jarrod, you've got to communicate things to him! tell him how important he is to you and that you don't want to unintentionally hurt him or brush him off and have him take it the wrong way.
thanks so much for your question. i hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
--postscript--
if you do have any more questions or anything, feel free to email me at kittywalsh(at sign)gmail.com
wtf is sXe & whats it mean ???
it's an abbreviation of sorts that stands for "straight edge", a lifestyle and (counter cultural) subculture, closely associated with punk, hardcore punk, and heavy metal music. it advocates total, lifelong abstinence from tobacco, alcohol, and recreational drug use, especially psychoactive and stimulant drug use. some straight edgers also abstain from promiscuous sexual behaviour.
basically, it's a counter-culture lifestyle that involves not making many of the bad decisions that seem to have become prevalent, and even tolerated, in the world today. some people think that it doesn't make sense that such a lifestyle could be associated with things like punk and heavy metal music; i am of the opinion that sXe is a noble and sensible thing, especially when one's taste in music has become an "indicator" that one is the stereotypical rebellious druggie troublemaking young adult. the straight edge is a great endeavour for the presentday youth and anyone else who does it.
thanks for the question!
~*kitty*~
is there any way to retrieve an aim convo? i had an IM open from last night but my computer wigged out sometime today and shut my aim down and all the IMs closed out and i had kept that one open for a reason. can i get it back ?
it depends. is there an option that you can enable that automatically saves your conversations? i know it's available on YM, but i'm not entirely sure about AIM.
you could always email the AIM staff and ask them about the temporary files.
~*kitty*~
yah its jessica459x on aim but i wont be on tonight so could you talk to me tomorrow? and THANKS! alott
sure, no problem. ttytom!
~*kitty*~
hello i asked the question about the macromedia software thing for purevolume and such.. well i just tried downloading what you told me to download and it didnt work.. like i would open the setup then it would go to 100% and then nothing would happen.. and its not installed yet. i dont know whats wrong? can u clue me in?
do you have AIM or googletalk or YM?? it will probably be easier if i help you like that and take you through it step-by-step.
15/f ;; whats the best way to choose between 2 guys? the 1st guy i met a couple months ago and we connected pretty quickly and we get along really well blah blah blah. the 2nd guy, i just met earlier this week, but we get along really great and he's more my "type". they both like me.. and i really dont wanna have to decide because i think i might like the 2nd guy more, but i kinda feel like thats unfair to the 1st guy since weve been "talking" longer, and i knew he liked me so maybe that was bad to do to him to even start talkin to the 2nd guy..? its gonna break my heart to have to hurt either one of them.. im so confuesd i really dont even kno where to begin on what to do.
well, first off, did either of them ask you out yet? or have you asked either of them out?
all right, as is my custom on advicenators, i shall now assign pseudonyms to each of the guys. 1st boy: ensio. 2nd boy: kato.
you've got to first try looking at this in an objective manner (meaning practically, realistically, not influenced by emotion). are either ensio or kato rebellious juvenile delinquents? drug dealers? disrespectful (to anyone and/or everyone, not just women)? lazy? dishonest? sneaky? do they have a history of bad relationships in the past? a bad family life? a police record? detention-acquiring tendencies? another girlfriend?? >.>
i'm not saying that any of those apply to either of them, necessarily. you just need to evaluate in a cautious manner whether or not either of these guys are going to bring too much trouble with them, and whether or not you can/want to handle that. because, yeah, a lot of guys can have troubled family lives, but that doesn't necessarily mean you can't date them; you might even be good for them, as support and a caring person in their life.
second, you should objectively analyse which seems to be the better match for you. it's true opposites attract, but people who are very similar can attract too. ^_^ if you're usually the dominant one in a relationship (or the submissive one), which one can best complement that? who do you feel like you can be the most open with? which one of them is the most supportive and there for you when you need it? who does it seem like you are able to talk to a lot, or a little, and not worry or mind a few pauses and silent moments?
as far as breaking ensio's (1st boy's) heart, yeah, maybe he liked/likes you, but has he told you that? and i mean specifically, out loud, like (and now for convenience and entertainment purposes, i'll call you) "choosy. i like you. in a like-like romantic kind of way." ^_^ and just because you two have been talking and have been friends longer doesn't mean you've been leading him on or hinting that you want a bf/gf relationship. then again, maybe you have been, i don't know the whole situation.
my advice is to think about these above things, as well as consider what things would be like if you dated ensio or kato, and what you might lose from the relationships you already have with both of these guys if you dated one of them. wait a while and ponder, and get to know kato (2nd boy) a little better. after you've done that, think about these things again. if you haven't decided by then, feel free to email me again and i'll be glad to talk things over with you.
keep both of the guys' feelings in mind, as well as what's in your own heart, and you'll be just fine.
hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
hello, whenever i try to go on myspace and purevolume.com to listen to music, the box where it lists all the songs doesnt show up and ive tried to download macromedia shockwave player but it never works, ive tried downloading it a million times and it STILL doesnt work.. how do i get it to work ..is it not macromedia that i need to download? so what do i need to download ? activex? idont know please help me!!!
huh, i have a purevolume account. it hasn't been working well lately though. anywho. it is macromedia that you need to download, but you need macromedia flash player, not shockwave.
http://www.adobe.com/shockwave/download/download.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash&promoid=BIOW
just hit the button that says "download now", save it, open it, and follow the instructions as normal.
if you have any more problems, just email me again. or you can give me your SN (i'm googletalk, AIM, and YM) so i can help you in real-time.
hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
Hey everyone,
I am having a party Saturday night & I was just wandering if anyone had a good recipe for making jello shots.
Thanks!
well, i don't personally know any. because, um, i'm too young to drink. legally. in the united states. yeah... >.>
but as always, i'll recommend google to aid you in your quest for information. a few good drink recipe sites for you:
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink586.html
http://www.drinkstreet.com/searchresults.cgi?drinkid=916&drinkname=jello%20shots
http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/2200
whenever you're mixing liquor and different flavours, keep in mind what goes good together. vodka with cranberry jello, gin or schnapps mixed with seltzer and lemon jello, you could even try putting champagne in orange jello for mimosa shots!
have a great party, and remember...
don't drink and park; accidents cause people. ;P
~*kitty*~
Well a couple of days ago i had sex with my boyfriend and now when i pee it stings and i have a little blood come out thats pink not that its like my period what do you think it means?
first of all, there's probably no need to worry too much right now, you're still ok. ^_^
depending on whether or not you and your boyfriend have had sex before, that stong and little bit of blood could be due to your hymen breaking (there's a picture that might take you aback, but... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen. there is some good information and links too). if you guys have, or even haven't before, then it could be a little bit of mild damage to nearby tissue, but as long as you both are free of STDs and other infections, then it should heal up fairly soon.
it's also possible that, maybe due to the way you two were positioned, he could've literally rubbed you the wrong way. :P so, you may have a slight urinary tract infection, which is not very serious and usually goes away within a few days.
if the stinging persists, i would definitely advise you to go see your doctor or maybe your gyno if you have one.
hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
my hair is a medium brown color. i have been trying to dye it medium blonde with very blonde highlights, but it either turns out a brassy dark red or stays the same. how on earth do i get my hair the blonde i want without using bleach which will dry out my hair wayyy toooo mucchchhh? should i get it professionally done?
that's one problem with having darker hair, hair dyes don't usually work as well without bleaching it out first, which is something i'm not willing to do, even if it is for kick-ass red or cyan-blue streaks for a movie event or for a show. :P
this may sound weird, but if you want highlights and you don't want to spend a lot of money on salon service, try the old trick of streaking lemon juice through your hair and sitting out in the sun. it takes a while longer and it can get sticky if you're not careful, but it usually works really well to lighten up and highlight your hair. the lemon idea is usually for the blondes. it's better if you use fresh lemons, and, whenever you're out for a sunny day and you won't mind your hair looking a little stringy, especially right after you get out of the pool (this would probably be the perfect time), squeeze the lemon juice onto your hair, no combing. later, when you wash your hair, give a little extra conditioning. or if you don't like the idea of squeezing lemons on your head, try this: after you wash and condition your hair as normal, rinse it with a mixture of lemon juice and a little bit of water, then go relax in the sun after your shower.
olive oil is another good one. though it is greasier and may take a few washes to completely clean off, it highlights well and keeps your hair moisturised.
chamomile tea is great for the brunettes. same as the lemon rinse, wash and condition your hair as normal and rinse your hair with a cup of cooled chamomile tea, then it's outside in the sun for some rest and relaxation.
if you don't want to go hippie, and you still don't want to spend money at a salon, go to a drugstore like walgreens in the hair products and look for spray-on hair lighteners. but chances are, that a lot of those will have chamomile, lemon, and olive oil as some of their main ingredients.
hope this helped. thanks to some research i did to help me answer this correctly, i found a really good homemade coffee hair product. ^_^ good luck!
~*kitty*~
hi again. sorry ive been asking so many translation questions, but the sites i go on never have it. could anyone please give me the japanese word for *graceful*?
thanks
well, it depends on what you mean by graceful, because there are several different words to describe different types of graceful.
soso: graceful, neat
gami: high class, graceful
miyabita, miyabiyaka: elegant, graceful (miyabita and miyabiyaka are probably feminine and masculine versions of the word, or it could be singular and plural, or it could just be different forms of the word, do some research through google and wikipedia and freedict.com, etc.)
shitoyaka: graceful
i wouldn't just right away use one of those until you know the context in which they're usually used, and what you'll be using the word for.
hope this helped. �����! (ganbatte!) to view those japanese characters, you have to click view> character encoding> Unicode (UTF-8).
~*kitty*~