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humorist-workshop
I am still in love him and I don't know what to do !
I really don't know know wear to begin but heart is broken . I was dating this guy that had fallen in love with for 6 months. I wanted to marry him Things seemed to be going great. We never fought or anything. I gave him my virginity. I didn't notice anything was wrong and the one day I started getting concerned. I haven't heard from in about 3 days so I decided to check his fb and then realized he changed his fb status from in a relationship to single without even telling me he was even thinking about ending the relationship. I had just had a hysterectomy the week before he broke up with me . I ended up going to the psychiatric hospital because of all this. Then he sends a reply the text that sent him a few days before asking what I did wrong and he replied that I did nothing wrong he just didn't have time and needed to walk away from the dating aspect of the relationship but he would still like to be friends. We hung out the other day for about 2 hours. I was happy because I was with him but I realized that still head heals and madly in love with him and I don't know how to stop these feelings. I still feel like I want to have sex and I know that not possible and will never happen. He noticed something was wrong and asked if he could hug me and I said yes . What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Have you asked yourself what you are really looking for in a guy? There are all sorts of choices but it only works well when the guy wants the same thing. This can range from being his on call lover when he has no one else lined up, being a friend with benefits (which means sex ) to being a female to take out to have fun at parties(being someones plus 1 which is another on call thing but without the sex) and finally: dating to find the woman he wants to marry; settle down with. I know it may sound wrong but it is best to be open about what you are looking for. Dating to find ones marriage partner is the only choice with a commitment attached. However, since it is a search for the right person for you, both people need to let the other know after a few dates if they are interested in checking you out a while longer, are sure and want to date to get to know you on a deeper level and marry you or a person is upfront and lets the other know that you are not the one for them at which point you both no longer see each other, no matter how disappointed one person is from the news. Age doesn't matter as this applies at any age you are. It may seem counter productive to let a guy know on a second date what you are looking for and find out what he is looking for. Men or woman can lie to the other person. So how do you know if you can count on what they are saying? There is a way. I used it with the man who became my second husband. You listen to what they say about who they are inside, and look for the qualities that you want. A person can only pretend and put up a fake personality for a short while. It becomes too tedious to remember what lies you've already told. ALL people will eventually revert back to their own selves sooner or later. By a 3rd date, one guy showed his true self and I finished the evening without saying a thing, eating dinner he prepared, but went home planning to never see him again. What you tell such men is that there wasn't enough chemistry to make it work. While that could be true, it seems the easiest thing for guys to understand. If you wait for a guy to tell you upfront what he is looking for, the majority of men, I have found don't do this but they appreciate the woman being the subject up. They don't want to for the reason of fear. Or some guys just don't have any idea what they are looking for other than wanting a female for sex. Yes, sexual compatibility is important and I said so in my dating profile on-line but if the first thing a man wrote to me was something about how sexy I was, I never replied because Duh....what guy would write to a gal he didn't find sexy looking. Always remember, words are cheap and easy for a man to say, but his consistent good actions are what you are looking for. The inconsistent man will keep up saying and doing what he thinks or guesses you want and when he feels like you have fallen for him, then if he doesn't want a wife, he dumps you or perhaps goes for some sex til the thrill of a new partner wears off, and dumps you. Another thing I can share is something I read about the person who keeps dumping and finding new sex partners. If you wanted that, it would feel strange to tell the guy up front what you want. Hey, some divorced women only want a sex partner after a failed marriage and don't want a husband ever again. I can understand. So a person who keeps changing from one to the next and the next partner, may be addicted to the feeling, the thrill of meeting someone new. It is actually a thing, being addicted to the feeling of being with a new partner. Well, after some time, that feeling goes away, and is replaced (in good marriage relationships) with the feeling of love, minus the excitement and maybe shyness both felt at first. Even though I thought I knew what I wanted 2nd time around, There were still things I needed to think about and learn and I feel that in prayer, God gave me some things to consider. I have that in a document I've titled "Finding Mr. Right". If you would like to read that, let me know and I will send the info to you. It sure helped me in finding and then being sure of my choice and he had done something similar which helped him to know I was the one. If you do write, instead of posting to the whole group you can write to just me by going to "browse advice columnists" and looking for me, dragonflymagic and sending to me from my column. Best wishes to you dear.
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