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please help..
I've been with him for almost 3 years now, 1st year was amazing 2nd year was full of break-ups and 3rd party was involved, he cheated on me, but somehow we overcome the issue and decided to continue and we are still working on the relationship, sometimes i feel alone, i can't seem to find him all in, anyway we travelled so many countries and finally last month we went to Peru, his hometown where we stayed with his family for 2 weeks and to be honest it was so great.
2 days ago we were out with some friends, and somehow the commitment issue was on the table and everyone was just talking about how good/bad is the marriage and how happiness and commitment has nothing to do with each other, somehow i got the idea that he's not ready to take a step, next day i confronted him, and his answer was " we are not ready yet, and i like everything the way it is now" i said whatever was in my mind and heart, in return i didn't receive much of answers .
I didn't want any proposal, just wanted to know it's going somewhere, and i made that clear to him. I don't know what to do or what to think, im not the kind of a person who gives up easily specially in relationships, i go till the end. But giving the circumstances i can see that i need to let him go that's my logic tells me, but letting go something that i put lots of effort and i invested in him, in the relationship, it's just hard to walk away.
I need second opinion, or anything that you think can help me with the situation.
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I have nothing new to tell you on how to stay with him. Sometimes, a person can like someone enough to make it work for them but its not enough of a commitment to work enough for the other person. So it sounds like walking away is the best thing that can be done. I understand that's hard to do. So maybe if it helps, the separating may go easier and better for you if you break any soul ties. It isn't a natural thing but a spiritual thing. That's the best I can explain. When I was contemplating leaving my ex husband, I was told I needed to visualize breaking the soul tie and it would go much easier for me. So I closed my eyes, and visualized a cord emanating from my stomach, like where the navel is and the other end of it was connected to the husband at the same place on him. In my vision, I was then handed a large pair of scissors like for a ribbon cutting ceremony and I was to cut that cord I saw connecting us. I did that and never had any trouble leaving. I was so loyal that even though he treated me bad, I loved him but with that cutting our connection, just seeing it in my mind, that made all the difference. It may sound too easy, too simple but I swear, it works hon. So I hope you try it too.
Also, one more thing...forgiveness. I had to forgive him in my mind, not asking him to ask for forgiveness...this was all just for my benefit. I forgave his verbal abuse and more. If a person harbors unforgiveness, no matter how bad another person has transgressed against you, it only is you that ends up being hurt. I did forgive so these days, due to having adult kids and grandkids together, I am able to plan stuff like inviting him to do something with me for a granddaughter who is turning 15 soon. He and his girlfriend will be there. And I have no problems inwardly, I am just at peace when he is near and I do not feel any connection to him. I am remarried to a man who treats me well. I hope all this helps you. Blessings.
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