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Uncomfortable With Doctor I Was Referred To By Specialist.
I know you have a bit of medical background so that's why I'm reaching out. I have had an incredible 17 year journey with bipolar disorder and a great relationship with my specialist stretching that far back. He's seen me at my absolute worst. I trust this person with my life and their judgment which I follow to a T.
The problem is that any time a medication gets changed which we don't make a habit of it upsets the apple cart and I feel sicker and like I could go around the bend. I have only been in hospital twice (2003/2004) when a medicine was switched for a generic my body didn't take to. I have a wonky system and this doctor knows it. I wound up back on the ward in 2004 for that reason alone.
The problem is that there appears to be a kidney issue related to lithium prolonged usage. It's a mild issue we don't want to have get any worse than it is now. The specialist that I trust has referred me to a kidney doctor and there begins the trouble.
This guy was over 2hrs late to our first appointment and stared at a computer not looking at me nor my mother the entire time I was there. He's since been extremely rude on the phone appointments.
Even before meeting me he made his mind up about taking me off of lithium which has kept me stable all this time. He doesn't seem to care about me going back into a ward either if he does it and hasn't looked at how to keep me safely on the drug but keeps dangling this above my head every time I talk to him and doesn't care about the trauma I've endured when drugs are switched.
I'm not looking for a doctor to be my best friend and appreciate hearing stuff like it is but he has tons of bad write ups on Rate MD and makes me and my parents very uncomfortable.
The problem is I don't want to piss my psychiatrist off by telling him how uncomfortable physically and mentally dealing with the kidney person he referred me to makes me. I'm in constant fear of him and what a call will bring. I don't want to undermine him and make my medical situation worse for speaking out.
I would like a second opinion and a referral to a nephrologist which is what this guy is that starts from a place of compassion and respects what I've been through and can engineer if need be something where the health doesn't collapse and wind me up in hopsital again. I think I've earned that right but how can I tell the psychiatrist that this has been an awful matchup and that I can't work with this guy any further? I'm a fucking wreck over it.
My mother has served as my conservator before when severely ill and she abolutely hates this guy too and wanted to tear him apart but has as have I bit my tongue so as not to have the psychiatrist pissed or changing meds on his own because I won't play ball with his referral. I doubt that would happen but I don't want to risk it.
Am I within my right to speak up about my treatment and how I feel about this person? I'm not over-reacting either because the Rate MD profile for this guy is awful and lists a lot of what I'm pointing out in my post to you as a big problem for clients.
I'm not saying that lithium isn't causing an issue or something needs changing but rather pointing out that if it is there's a compassionate way of handling this and making sure I don't wind up at square 1 with this and a hospitalization for mental health because he pulled something without thinking of my system as a house of cards.
I've fought and clawed my way to get here and am a high functioning individual without many of the symptoms people have of my illness. I want my life to remain as it is now. I'm scared and royally pissed off about seeing that doctor again.
I have a phone visit from the psychiatrist first week of December and this other doctor in early January. If I'm going to do/change anything I need to speak up then or deal with whatever unpleasant things that come. Totally tired and miserable over it.
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Perfect timing as I have recently had a referral for a specialist for my eyes. I understand fully how important it is to be able to trust a Dr. The one you were referred to is not doing so because of a care for helping people, only for helping his wallet. Reasons a Dr. picks one referral over another is because it is routine and they have always referred one Dr. and dont want to take time to check out another, or they have a deal with a Dr. friend to sent any possible new patients their way. There may be others such as how much better a job their referral does than others with the same title. In my case, I saw an Optometrist who referred me to an Ophthalmologist in a clinic associated with a Hospital but told me to check with my insurance to be sure it covers the work of that Dr. I checked and insurance said yes. So I called, made the appt which was 3 months away. Then right after making the appt. I saw a button to click to read patients ratings of all the Drs. I looked up the one I was given and three people had real bad things to say, stuff that isn't petty but an example is chewing out their assistant in front of the patient, not listening to the patient or looking at them, and yelling at the patient, not listening to concerns, etc. Some of the stuff I read reminded me of an abusive past husband and I will never again put myself in front of anyone like my ex even to deal with for a short amount of time. So I immediately got on phone, called insurance and asked for a Dr near me as this one wasn't. I was given 3 for the area I mentioned. I called one. She is the first Dr. to ever tell me that the condition I have is correctable by special prism lens or surgery. (I've suffered double vision for 17 yrs and told by 3 different Drs that it wasn't correctable and I'd just have to live with it) I told her so. She said they were optometrists and wouldn't have the training or knowledge of it. I said one was her title and gave the name when she asked and she knew him and was surprised to hear he didn't care either to tell me what was going on. My story goes to show that this happens more often than you would think. People don't question their Drs. referrals. I told my Dr how I heard about her and she wanted to know how I heard about her. Told her where I was first referred to and she looked horrified and said that clinic did not have a good reputation and didn't really know their stuff. Not sure if its true or only her opinion but I am tending to believe her and she was a good Dr. Once you leave the Dr. you were referred to, the referring Dr. has no way of knowing whether you actually saw them because the referral Dr might not be covered by your insurance plan so there's always a chance you will never use their referral. I have called my insurance to find a family Dr. in my area when I got sick of a clinic where mishaps occurred regularly and two talks with clinic manager did nothing to change. So unless you have an extremely rare disease that requires the one person of a handful in the country you live in so you must see them and insurance has to hear from your referring Dr. that it is imperative for a life or death situation to see such a Dr. and push insurance to consider covering the referal, you dont need to have appt with the referral. I get referrals all the time and only sometimes do I go as I had my share of bad Dr.s like you just experienced. I look for Dr ratings, read their bio from the clinic and sometimes theres nothing to glean from that but go to an appt and then decide if the Dr is a keeper or to get rid of them. So I highly doubt you will piss off your new Dr by saying you did not like his/her referral. In fact, your Dr. needs to hear from you of your experience and how bad it was and that its not just you taking things wrong but your Mom was there and feels the same way. Your Dr may choose to never refer patients to that other Dr again. But they wont know unless you tell them. Then you either take another referral name and just go, or check first if covered by insurance, and when you don't like the Dr, call insurance and ask for referrals to Drs with the same title. Once you have a list of names, you choose or have your Doctor choose one off the list but really, a Dr. doesn't have a degree unless they were able to earn it. However, book knowledge isnt enough to make a great Dr. Compassion and care are important as well. I saw a Dr when in pain in back and as I sat moaning through a pain of pain, she actually grinned and chuckled at me. That got my blood boiling! Yes, there are more crappy Drs out practicing today than good ones and a good one will be evident by how well they treat you at an appt. I used to be a caregiver taking my client to one of her many Dr.s mental health and neuroligist included. Of all her Drs, including the mental health ones, I was very unimpressed. I only liked her neurologist. He was the only one who asked questions, listened and was willing to make changes if needed, or keep things same if they worked, etc. I felt a trust in the Dr. Sometimes it can be as simple as two very different personalities, but because of that you feel you don't click with a certain Dr and as a result you don't fully trust them. Forget trusting a Dr. just because they earned credentials because there are Drs with credentials who have done such bad things they lost their license to be a Dr. There are no rules that you must see only a referral given by Dr. They are guessing as they dont have the time to check which ones take your insurance. Unless youre so rich you dont need insurance, which is very unlikely, you must go with Dr.s and referrals your insurance covers. YES, get the second opinion, even a third if you must as comparing a new Dr. to the one you just saw isn't even fair. Thats like comparing apples to oranges, instead of one apple variety from another.
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