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Covid-19.
I live in a house with an 85-year-old who had cancer surgery in March and a 64-year-old mother, a brother in his 30's and a small child. I have been very careful to wear a mask and gloves and obey for the past 5 months every health stipulation to do with Covid-19.
Not to get political because the disease is not a political thing but in the U.S. they've rushed things in some states and the president hasn't helped by denying the existance of it at first and not trusting the experts like Fauci.
One of the things that has led to surge of cases is reopening bars, night clubs and virtually every other business you can think of in some areas. Doing so has resulted in spike of cases and some deaths.
Meanwhile, I live in Canada where they've closed the border and until recently you couldn't even gather with more than 5 people at a time. What has happened here is that there's 4 stages of reopening. We just entered Stage 3 which allows nearly all attractions, movie theaters and bars to reopen.
I have ZERO interest in bars, nightclubs, performance venues, indoor restaurant dining or any establishment that could be a breading ground for the disease.
I would just like to go downtown to the aquarium or even to the park, a museum or anything having been holed up here for 5 months with the same people.
My mother refuses to let me go anywhere but Wal-Mart or the corner store and always asks me where I'm going or if I want to kill my father and everyone else in the house by dragging Covid-19 in. It's an enormous guilt trip and I would like to have my freedom back. I get that she's paranoid and the reason for it and that she thinks things will end up like America. We've taken months to reach where we are and health experts have got us here.
I'm not trying to be selfish but I think if health experts have required businesses and attractions to submit a proposal for opening and are adhering to strict rules that it's not an issue to visit these places if you have a mask, gloves and are being bloody careful.
The only indoor venue I would want to go to that is iffy is a movie theater but not until I knew nobody who went to one here became ill. They have limited occupancy to 50 people per screen and blocked off seats and entire sections in the theaters and it's all reserved. You have to wear mask and gloves the entire time you are there.
I'm hoping you will have ideas on what I can do to get her to see that while nothing is 100% safe that this is as good as it gets and public health can shut businesses down for non-compliance with rules.
She also doesn't want me to go to parks for exercise or large ones downtown with a zoo or take public transit anywhere. I can understand the transit part but being outdoors is important.
I'm more concerned for my own mental health than anything else because these are the only 5 people I have interacted with other than my aunt for months and have been holed up in my room otherwise. I need to get out of this place.
Before Covid-19 I was going to theater, comedy clubs, major attractions and movies. It was incredibly difficult for me when that ceased and I had to find other outlets and things to do from home. You can't stay sheltered in one place for too long.
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Hi there! The lockdown restrictions have taken a heavy toll on all of us. Socially and psychologically, even if we have (like you) avoided the virus itself. You clearly share a household with one extremely vulnerable person, and one who would be advised to shield due to age.
There are, I agree, conflicting statements from medical experts and governments. The only worthwhile advise in my opinion, as lockdown measures are relaxed, is that perhaps we relax our own 'measures' only as far as we feel comfortable with ourselves? Parks I believe pose little risk, as it is usually easy to distance oneself, and transmission in the open air is much reduced. Masks are useful only if everybody wears one. If we take the case of a carrier and a person not infected, if neither wear masks then the probability of transmission is around 70% if you are close for more than a very brief spell. Carrier masked, it drops to around 35% chance. If both are masked then it will be only a 3-4% chance. But a mask will not surely protect an uninfected wearer if the people around are not wearing them. So, choose your locations carefully and assess their 'safety' on this. I know exactly where you are standing. I elected to care for my mother, who is 90 and has a condition which makes her extremely vulnerable. It has been absolute hell on earth at times. As you say, the measures cannot stay in place forever. As infection rates in the community fall we are less likely to get the virus purely because the chance of coming near an infected person becomes much smaller. Let's try to mitigate risks. Public transport will always be a high-risk I'm afraid. Avoid it if you can. Parks, and the zoo would be fine. As far as indoor venues, I'll admit I am scared of them. I loved bars, and clubs and restaurants but haven't visited any since the middle of March. Compliance only works if everyone complies, and an establishment being closed retrospectively for non-compliance will not help the people who were involved. Perhaps the best way of getting some freedom is to reason it out with them. The virus is not going to get bored and go away. It is present in our communities. Risk is a part of life, we can never eliminate it entirely but we can mitigate risk and manage it. Point out that the only places you intend to visit are environments where you can manage risk. There will not be a light-bulb moment where everything is safe again and you need to get some restorative activities. It's been hard for YOU too. It is difficult to talk someone out of a mindset such as your mother appears to have. Fears like this live in a part of our brain we can have no dialogue with. These can only be overcome by repeated positive affirmation. Meaning that every time you go out and nothing bad happens it will 'post a positive' to your mum. After a while the weight of all the positives will 'searchlight out' the fear. We need a plan, right? Start with some very modest excursions, for exercise for example. Make a show of donning your protective gear. And a similar ritual of removing it and hand-washing etc when you return. The 'corner-shop' is possibly a good bit of leverage. Point out that lots of your neighbours go. The shopkeeper has been there right through the virus. He (or she) doesn't want to get sick either. And we would know if they did, wouldn't we? Hope I have given you a few ideas. You mention the US. There's an example of perhaps taking the brakes off to soon. And yet, a world leader cannot watch his country sink into the abyss of economic collapse. I would not want to be a Trump, or our own (I'm in the UK) Boris Johnson and have to make such decisions, would you? In the UK a figure known as 'excess deaths' looks a sign that we have regained some control. Naturally, many people will die in any month, and we have a rolling five-year average figure. At the peak, UK deaths were hugely higher than the average. Now they are around what they would normally be, for say, any June, July, into August. July actually appears lower. Maybe all the distancing measures have cut down the flu and other respiratory virus which often also take a big toll on the elderly? Hang in, start trying to gain some little victories in terms of outdoor excursions to put out those positives. But don't go crazy all at once! You (and I) have in effect invested a lot in protecting our vulnerable relatives. We don't want to screw it all up in a thoughtless episode just to make a point now! I'm afraid imposing lockdown was relatively easy. But we knew there was never a tried-and-tested exit strategy as we were doing it. Let's both look forward to that 'new normal' eh? It wnn't be the old normal. The old normal was the problem. Best wishes, sincerely.
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