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humorist-workshop
life worth it without sex?
I already am miserable. Have been for a decade. but now I have something where sex or any semblance of it (even looking at porn or getting a mild erection) is gonna end badly for me. So, not only can I not be in a relationship, I can't even get off (or I shouldn't get off). So what's the point of life as man? If I can even be called that. I've had this for years now, I thought it'd go away by now but NOPE! If anything, its worse. I've already made good money and it didn't make me happy, I'd really only want money to get women but that's out of the question.I know toys will only temporarily make me happy. I can't have a family. So it all seems completely pointless. Sometimes I want to get corona virus so it takes the burden away from killing myself. I really don't know what the point of life is now. If a man is answering, would you wanna keep going without being able to even looking at a pair of boobs without bleeding out of your dick? At this point, I'd rather be impotent or dead.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Your last sentence alarmed me. I don't know if its an attempt to make a point with made up info or whether you do bleed from your penis because if you do, thats not normal and you need to see a specialist as soon as possible safely. YOu can do phone consultations with a Dr. in the meanwhile and I suggest you do. You dont state your age but lots of the problems mentioned that assail men when they are older are normal for all men. When peeing, it now trickes out and when you think you're done and leave the urinal, more bits dribble on the floor. Also a man can have ED, meaning problem getting erect, only half way erect, staying erect and the worst, it is broken and doesnt work at all anymore. Yes, I can see how that would make many people feel like life is over. My husband would disagree. He has problems getting hard enough or staying hard long focuses on other stuff, it eventually works. He and I are very much in love, unconditional, so it doesn;t matter that I have lost my eyebrows and have the start of cataracts or both our hair is really thinning, or that he gained lots of weight and I no longer look like I did when we met....because we both love who each other is on the inside. Yes, it is hard to find women like me or men like him but it can be done. Sex is very different now from how it was ten years ago. A urologist has checked him out and there is nothing that can really be done. At least we know theres no cancer. But the equipment not doing what it used to do without any problems is now the new normal. My last marriage was not a good one. The guy was a mismatch for me sexually and wasn't even in love with me and verbally abused me the entire marriage. I wanted a man who could be my best friend, treat me like a queen and have a man who desired only me and was still sexually active. Since my last husband was not a very good person, I get everything I wanted in a man. NO, we dont have sex for hours at a time anymore but we still attempt it more than once a week which is actually the lower average for people who have no ed problems. Most people get sex twice or so a month if we're being real here. Women want men for more than just a hard penis. I can still feel the love, adoration and see the desire in his eyes when he looks at me. A female friend even noticed how often he was looking at me as we all worked with others on a volunteer job. Somehow, because of how much he knows I love him and I have no issue or complaint with the changes which are part of getting older, the pressure is off to perform, and while he takes the focus off himself, he finds that he can get hard enough, not rock hard but enough to do the act. While going at it, he does get harder but if we stop to re position in bed, his erection is instantly gone and we have to start all over again.
He found out a long time ago that porn doesn't get him erect anymore. He's so tuned in to just me that even looking at women who are not me, means his body will not at all get hard, no matter how sexy a gal looks. I offered for him to take naked pics of me to use when he gets up much earlier than I and Im still sleeping. This doesn't rule out morning sex, he just is very considerate and doesn't want to wake me or ask me every morning, so he'll use his pics of me and masturbate. I don't feel my life is over because of his difficulties and I am certainly not looking for sex affairs to get a guy without the difficulties. I know how hard it was to find a man with the personality and character I wanted who had a sex drive. The drive is still there and I know it by the attention I get, the touches, petting, kisses, and all to let me know all day how much he loves me. You sound like if you didn't have the problem, you'd want to make big money to still attract women for sex with your wealth. As has been shown on many u tube video's acted out on women, not all are so shallow as to want the man just because of his wealth, its so since to click with a person and come to know and love them without money in the picture. But I don't think you are ready for that big a change. So yeah, life if going to dissapoint you because the majority of married couples are not married to the best possible partner for them. They may love each other a little, eventually that love goes out because it was only the kind of love we attribute to things we like, chocolate icecream, ooo and I love cheesecake, I love being outdoors, and if I love a guy cus I like how hot he looks and the sex is great and theres a bonus of money, then that is all I get. But a love like that doesn't work well in a relationship. The love of food when compard to a human being is conditional. If a store didn't have your favorite food, yeah you'd be upset but you can live without it, it won't kill you. However if you have someone with whom there is mutual unconditional love, you can't live without them because your heart would break if you lost them to death, accident or illnesss and the empty space left in your life can eventually kill you as I have seen with elderly couples in love, when one dies, the other loses the will to live on without them and dies in their sleep months after.
If you are not in your late forties or older, then this wouldnt be about ed but possibly a lack of male hormones. I also know of a male friend who confessed to us that he found out when he was younger than he had a male hormone deficiency and it was causing all his probrems and so he had to go on hormone pills daily for the rest of his life and he said he was very happy. Age affects not just sex life but joints hurting and swelling, arthritis, wrinkles, drooping eyes, boobs, bellies, anything that can droop will, hair gets thinner or you go much more balder, you lose the strength in your legs. Some older friends tell us that it is a chore to simply get out on the bed in the morning as the body stiffens up during sleep so it is hard to make the few needed moves to get to the edge of the bed to stand up and go about your day. I haven't got to that point yet but all of this is coming and theres no way to stop it. If we embrace the changes and learn how to live and do things differeently to accomodate these chahges, then we are free to still enjoy life and not just get something out of it but being able to give in ways that help, not money usually, just helping hands, being of service.
There are plenty of older couple who no longer have sex but are happy together so sex isn't actually the problem here. My views and my husbands views of what makes the right mate, what works and what doesnt since we both were married before to people whose views were radiclaly different and both of us were treatly badly by partners, him not as much as I, but we wanted a best friend, companionship and what ever level of romance and sex we could still get. If you could get to the point where your mind and thoughts and views on what makes a fulfilling marriage partner does change to be more like ours, then perhaps you will be able to find joy in life and the right partner. We all have health difficulties to face. I don't want to end my life because of bad eyesight and now cataracts. He doesnt want to end his life because of his middle spine fusing so he can't bend and his ED. He is my eyes for me and I am the one who picks up things dropped or gets his socks and shoes on and off each day. But we are blessed each other is willing to step in and help whenever our help is needed and that I also find to be something that gives me joy, us being able to help each other. I am not a psychologist but after the pandemic is over, you might want to invest some time working with one, not because you have mental illness but something that every human being has experienced and done in their lives, either seldom or 24/7. This would be distorted and negative thoughts and those will rule our emotions which in turn rule our actions. We can not have a happy life for real and know it if we have distorted thinking problem that we over indulge and focus on. That only gets you a defeatist attitude. This is all I have to say.
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