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I have a really inappropriate crush
I'm 17/f. My crush is a 12 year old boy who lives on my street. I know I shouldn't have feelings for someone so much younger than me and I don't know where they're coming from. I know he has a crush on me too. He flirts with me sometime. Recently, I've begun flirting back. I'm scared that I might do something I'll regret. I'm scared that I might be a pedophile or something. This isn't the first time I've had a crush on a guy who was way younger than me. I think I need help, but I'm scared to tell anyone for obvious reasons. What the f*ck should I do??
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A crush is just in the mind, there are no actions behind it. Your feelings are your own.
I would guess that perhaps the younger boys haven't starting acting in ways you do not like from those males your age. But that is just a guess.
What I can say is normal for your age and younger, is that females tend to notice traits they like in a guy and that male can be any where from younger than them to grandpa age and beyond. This doesn't mean you plan to have a relationship with them or even sex. Females need to form an idea of what they like in a male and that takes place over time. When I was in youth group, there was an elderly man who was an usher. He had aged well and was still a fox. I must say I hoped whomever I chose one day would age well. But I also liked how personable and friendly he was. I knew then I would want to marry a guy who was just as friendly and helpful to all people.
You said a crush, nothing about sexual attraction to. Here's Merriam Websters dictionary meaning of pedophilia:
sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object specifically : a psychiatric disorder in which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a prepubescent child
So as Long as you are not having thoughts of committing sexual acts with a child, you are okay.
At his age, he is going into puberty and will be noticing females. He will also be crushing and so it is normal that he flirts.
One last thing, in both adult males and females, they can be interested in someone younger than them or way older than them. My husband is one such person. He remembers from puberty on, being attracted to older females, always, without exception. He did not have to chase females, the older ones came to him, hitting on him. But remember, I said Adults. To act upon having sex, it would have to be both being adults. So if a person will have the tendency to be interested in someone older or younger as adults, it would likely show up already at puberty. It may also just be the one person there is attraction to, but if a person is wired that way, they don't want children but at some point when the younger one is an adult at 18 or being older, it doesn't matter how much older the female is. The five years may matter now. But a couple I knew when I got married, were 5 years apart and he was mid twenties and her turning thirty when they married.
I know this may not be the case but I felt it wsa important to mention just in case.
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