|
Confused about this guy
This guy has been texting for 7 weeks and every week he asks when is he going to see me and or when are we going out. I put it off every week. Bc I don’t really take him serious. So this guy is someone I have seen of and on but it’s been a year sOnce any sexual contact but we have talked off and on. So recently he fixed my car so he brought me home and we talked and decided we would go out tonight. Like a date. He said 9. So he called around that time and told me he was going to get in the shower and then come pick me up. He call 55 mins later and his son got into an argument with the mom and he has to go pick them up. So he is going to drop him off at his moms . So I called 45 mins later to see if everything was ok he says his mom said to keep him and he was playing dominos with his step dad he was like in an hour it’s going to be late...... I am so confused he has texted me every week for 7 weeks and asked to see me and then he pulls this...crazy... my friend says it’s about control and that he not getting any. But he wouldn’t know that it’s always possibility.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Your friend sounds very wise. When in doubt, any true friend who really cares about you will tell you as they see it. I would tend to agree. Okay, so what if both of us are wrong?
I have learned from experience that the guys who are so persistent in chasing the girl and/or those who put on a big act, trying to sound like the sexual pro, knowing lots, turning anything said into a sexual innuendo, and so on, are the guys who are either married and to someone where they have no desire for each other and little to no sex, or they got divorced from someone like this and still have no clue how to go about finding a person who will be better for him than the last one, or they are a single person who doesn't get any at all or not often, only when they can pressure a gal into doing so with him. Such men can be control freaks but the uneducated female mistakes it for him being protective, knowledgeable instead of possessive and having no clue about how to treat any other person, not just a romantic one, fairly. The other reason is that they may never have gotten their act together, have emotional or mental issues, or are just someone who can't be counted on, are very inconsistent so you never know what to expect. On a few occasions, a persons conscious mind and subconscious mind want different things and will be at war with each other. These are the people who show an interest in pursuing something, doing something, pursuing someone but the sub conscious mind is not in agreement and will cause the person to do things that sabotage everything they go after. Not gonna do a big psch lesson here, just trust me, that is a real thing. This is not a person to trust for a relationship because a part of them wants you and the other part does not. You can't rely on such a person.
This is likely why you don't feel like you can take him seriously. Rather than focus on how to respond to him if at all, the better choice is to decide what you need and want, and when you think you see something promising in a guy, you go after him, don't wait for a guy to ask you out or show interest. I have learned that most women still don't make the first move. I met my second husband on a dating site. I didn't wait for guys to show interest in me, usually it was only sexual interest which is important in a marriage and I wanted, but I warned guys to read what I wrote rather than respond only because of what I look like, and hon, I am no model type, just the average female. I went looking and if i found a guy had filled enough helpful info on himself to give me a clue he might be great, I would write him. One of these guys I wrote to became a great boyfriend but he'd been single so long he didn't want to ever marry again. So I knew he was only a time filler and he said the same, knowing someday I would find the guy to marry. But he did make a great caring boyfriend who really listened to what I said, got me surprise gifts, did all sorts of neat things for me. But I knew I wanted a bit more than a limit to the caring, that wasn't a commitment for the rest of our lives. So I say to you, decide first what it is you want. Lets say you want kids some day, this better be something you put out there in the first few meet ups. No making commitments to date exclusively until you have some idea that he is Mr. Right. If you decide you want to read my ideas on how to find Mr. Right, from my own successful experiences, then I will share it with you. If you want to write direstly to me to ask, you need to search for my column by searching advice columnists, looking for my name Dragonfly magic, and from my column pressing the button to ask a question. I wish you the best but I don't think this guy is going to be the best boyfriend material.
]
More Questions: |