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What to do should i date or not
Well there is this guy who really loves me we met in February 2019 and we hooked up twice in the same month he did that because it was his first time and me beacuse one and only lust . He fell in love with me after the kiss but i never did . My family is way too strict they wouldnt let me go outside alone even in morning. They'll beat me up if ill hv a boyfriend my dad is dominating and even my grandfather and so since i dont get out much. He has alwyas been that guy who wants to go out and meet people we were different in taht way. Well he loves me way too much and now i realise whenever i meet him its not a good time to me im just way too uncomfortable with him whenever i meet him end up regretting why i took efforts cause its very difficult for me due to family . Now he has always supported me and helped no matter what. He payed my bill he took so many efforts he will do anything for me he brings me gifts but then there am i who doesn't love him . I was scared to loose him because hes the one who got me out of depression due to my family. Im scared to loose him why because maybe ill never find someone who loves me like him. Whenever ill call him he will come up to meet me but just i dont feel anything for him and its just im way too uncomfortable with him i can't kiss him hug him i push him away when he tries the same reason again why . Im not sure what to do?
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Your question is whether to date or not. If you are under 18 and a minor, I think that would be your parents decision. What you didn't state was how old you are. If you are 18 or older, but live at home, it doesn't matter what the family says or wants, it is your decision whether you date or not.
If you are not allowed out of the house alone, 'strict' is not an explanation. If you say they would beat you for dating someone, then we need to know whether it has actually been verbally threatened, whether you have been physically beaten, pushed around or they laid hands on you in any way and treated you roughly or if they tend to verbally abuse you, this abuse I suffered and am familiar with, no marks on your skin, just tearing you down, shouting yelling calling you names, the threatening and humiliating you publicly or at home, etc. There is a lot here, just that none of it is kind, loving or supportive and talking in normal tones. Let me know what exactly is going on. ITs bad enough to have made you depressed. The depresssion won't stay away but come back as long as the problem at home isn't taken care of. You mention a dad and grandpa but no Mom, Is there one and how is she treated and what does she say or do to protect you or does she also attack you.
The second problem is much easier to talk about. There is no reason to date someone you do not feel any romantic feelings towards. This is not something you can make happen. You either have this kind of chemistry or you don't. He may feel something and think he loves you. Love is usually not happening with just a kiss. However it can create all sorts of wonderful feelings, and new relationship energy, the exciting of a first time, is very real and strong and mimics the real thing of love but too many marry based on this feeling when there was no such thing between them as a little time goes on and they discover those feelings have vanished. He may be a great friend. But he has to know that you love him only as a friend and do not have romantic love. If a guy is friends with a girl only as a reason to get close to her and let her know he loves her, then such a person isn't as llikely to stay when they know you don't love them back. Seeing you all the time is only a reminder of what he can't have so most friends like this, leave. I understand you are grateful to him for helping you with your depression. You mentioned he paid a bill for you. If you are under 18, I can't imagine you having any bills of your own so it may nor may not be relevant to know what he was paying for you and why he was doing it. There are more questions here for me, than answers I could possibly give. But just based on what you've written, it sounds like your living situation needs top priority and very possibly, help from Professionals in your area. I can't talk you through any fears of repercussions of reaching out to agencies for help but I feel there is a good chance I can make some helpful suggestions if I only knew what exactly was going on here, Religious reasons, maybe mental health issues on their part, lots of misunderstandings, no Mom, etc.
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Hey,
First of all its very important for you to accept this matter that though he loves you , you only see him as a friend but most importantly THERE'S NOTHING WRONG IN IT.
Your fear of loosing him is very obvious , but the fact that he was the one who took you out of depression from your family matters also states that he understands you pretty well.
Now coming to the main part what should you do?
Honestly, its better to tell him the truth, say him that right now you don't have any feelings for him.You want both of you to spend more time in order to make you friendship strong ,also mention this to him that how important is he to you and who knows may be you will fell in love with him in future.
Talking about your fear to loose him, if he really likes you and most importantly understands you he will get your point. And I believe that he will be there for you when you need him.
hope this helps!!!
Thank You.
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