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What is the right thing to do..
I'm almost thirty and in a relationship with a guy that is six years younger than me, the relationship has it's ups and downs like any other,, but we're working on it and it's getting stronger day by day, I'm from Armenia we both are,and together almost two years and want to get out of this country ,it was individually at first but then i mean now we want to do it together.. i have a brother in Canada that was my only way because our country is living crisis, so me and my boyfriend were all set the points we're going to get married and then he will apply for a job ( he's a VFX Artist btw) and i'll be able to go with him to Canada.. But things got changed now, my Papers has done my brother he sent the invitation and everything is sorted now for me , after three weeks i'll have the answer from the embassy ,, but my boyfriend is acting weird and strange and he's really sad even though he doesn't tell me, But now it's like all the weight is on me ,i don't know what to do ..this is my only chance but i'm not sure what are the possibilities for him to make it ,,and he's acting like i betrayed him somehow, but i don't have any other choice..((((((
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If your brother in Canada helped with getting your papers done correctly and you are legally able to move to Canada at any time, and you want to go, then you should. You need to decide if its more important to you to leave Armenia or more important to you to be with your guy. If he is not talking to you and telling you what is upsetting him, that is not a good thing. Couples who do not confide in each other, lean on each other when one is going through a bad thing, have relationships that are not good and may break up. Men tend to not want to bother their wife or girlfriend with their troubles. I think it is because they want to appear strong even when they are not. If he was trying to get his papers for moving done, perhaps he was not approved to move. that could be what has him so upset. If he is acting weird, is it possible now that it is down to a decision making time, he is scared and not sure he wants to marry? There is no reason you need to marry before you go. If he is not approved to enter Canada, and you are married to him, then that would hold you back. So this comes to the point of you having to decide what is most important to you. If you get out now, he can keep trying and when he arrives later, then you both can marry in Canada. But if he has changed his mind, and does not want to leave his family behind, then you need to know so ask him. If he won't tell you what is wrong, start guessing and ask him and watch closely to see his reaction. His face should tell you something, even if he doesn't explain. Lastly, you want to be sure that he is the right person for you, not because you've been together 2 years, but what you need and want in a man, does he come close to that? Or have you settled for less than what you really wish for in a future husband? All of this may depend on what you decide. If he is the best thing that has come your way and you can't imagine life without him, then if he is able to immigrate, then how you feel about him means you would have to give up your dream of moving to Canada. If he has changed his mind about you, you need to know that too, so you don't stay in Armenia instead of going to Canada. If you decide that you have some strong feelings for him but that it may not be Love, or being in love, and also how he feels, if it is positive but not a strong love, then it would be better off for you to move to canada and leave him behind. Even if he is able to move, but you do not think he still feels the same about you, then there is no obligation to marry him in Armenia or Canada. Until you know what is really bothering your boyfriend, what it is that is on his mind and makes him act differently all of a sudden, then you need to find out. If he began to act this way as soon as he learned you were approved to enter Canada, then his issues are tied to you moving there. Do not give up your dream and as you said, only chance to go there. I know you are waiting 3 weeks for a reply but whatever you have done so far, he may not have done for himself, so he may not have worked on any legal stuff for himself which would mean he can't be accepted. Or if he has done it, perhaps there is something in his past he is afraid will make Canada turn him down. You won't know until you ask and he is willing to tell you all of it. SO until then, it will be impossible to make a decision. If in 3 weeks, he still has not told you what the problem is and you are accepted to move to Canada, then I feel you should go. You have a brother there and won't be alone. As I said, communication between two people is important in a relationship, so if your guy is not going to let you know what is wrong, then that is not a good sign for a marriage. In a marriage, the two must act as a couple, not as two singles who can live their separate lives and make their separate decisions without having to consider the feelings or wishes of a mate, wife, girlfriend.
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