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I dont know If I like him!


Question Posted Saturday April 13 2019, 10:16 pm

I have this one guy friend I hang out with a ton. I have a lot of guy friends, more than girls which is typically weird bc I'm a girl. He's super nice to me, and a ton of people in class tease us bc were r that close! Whenever some1 in class askes "Are you two dating yet?" He never denies it or agrees! I get super jealous when he has a girlfriend, but I don't know if I have a crush! Please help!

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Dragonflymagic answered Friday April 26 2019, 3:42 pm:
Jealousy is a fear of losing something or someone. It does not necessarily mean you feel like more than friends with him just because you feel jealousy when he dates someone else. It could mean two things, that you are afraid if he dates a girl and it becomes a steady thing and she might tell him she doesn't want him to have any female friends and sometimes a guy will go along with that if he is really into that girl.

The other might be that you are not sure if how you feel is just friends or more than friends.

The only thing really that makes one a friendship and the other more is the romance and how each other feels giddy and excited around the other, the kisses, and possibly sex. The one thing both should have in common is being best of friends or close friends. My 2nd husband is my best friend and my lover. If you do not feel yourself wondering what its like to be kissed romantically on the lips and actually wanting, desiring that and other shows of affection that dating couples or lovers give each other, basically if all this is lacking, then you are just friends. If you truly do feel these things, then you may be desiring him as more than a friend.

Just because a female gets along better with males or prefers male friends to female ones, is not odd at all. I am like that and my husband prefers female friends to male friends. He has only one male friend he keeps in touch with by email or calls. So you can't look at this ability as a way to figure if you could be more than friends.

Also, its a two way thing but often only one person feels that kind of attraction while the other doesn't and this is what holds people back from taking the next step and saying something.

I have come up with the perfect thing to say in such a situation. Next time he is single again, you say, "I've been just thinking, we do so well as friends, that it makes me wonder how well we would do as more than friends. What do you think?

Its important to ask his opinion. The way this is stated, is just a wondering, nothing in it to indicate a reality as in you feeling in love with him. So if he has felt the same, he will likely agree to it and that is the best way to find out if there really is something between you two. If he doesn't feel the same, he will tell you that he doesn't have those kinds of feelings for you so there is no need to try that. Theres a possibility he might ask why you asked this question. It's probably best to pretend you don't have feelings because of course you are not sure about those feelings, so its best to say, I was just thinking about it, not that I know for sure I feel that way about you.

See, not all romance start with love at first sight or a big feeling in your heart or all over and great desires. Some start small, a friend first whom you respect and care about and slowly that ember of feeling you like him, grows, as an ember will do if taken care of the right way so the ember eventually grows to the point it bursts into flame, which I compare to now feeling in love. This love can be as strong as the ones who felt it in the beginning of their relationships.
So use that phrase I mentioned, do the actual dating and decide for yourselves if theres something more there. If there isn't, no reason to worry. If you are young, maybe in a couple years if still single and both of you have grown and matured, if you get together to visit as friends, maybe you will discover you both have bigger feelings for each other or in the meanwhile you both met others for whom you feel this.

Dating to confirm your feelings for him if he is willing, is not weird. As said, it is the easiest way I know of to figure that out.

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