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Is being born female is punishment? Does it get better?
This is... definitely going to sound dramatic, but I’d really like to get different point of views and advice on this.
I am a girl, almost 19. I feel like the older I get the more I despise being female. I’ve struggled with dysphoria since I hit puberty, but I’m not transgender. It’s weird. The older I get and the more I mesh into adult society, the more I feel like my existence is a complete burden and I wish I could’ve been born a man. I hate sobbing over nothing, bleeding, getting creeped on and grabbed, and being weaker.
I tried having a conversation about this with my dad, and he doesn’t really get it. He’s never wished to be the opposite gender, and asked me if being female really felt like a curse. I said yes. It truly feels like I’m being punished, like if I figure out what I did wrong I might get some peace.Has anybody else felt this way about their sex? Id appreciate any advice on coping with it or making it better. Thank you guys
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
So you have gender dysphoria. I am not really familiar with it. But I do get that you don't feel you were born in the wrong body, just that you don't like being the female sex. I do not know of any medical reason for feeling this way. But I can take an educated guess and go out on a limb. I am a Spiritual person, started off as Christian but have come to accept some things that Christianity doesn't. NO wait, I am not going to preach here. Just share my own personal experience in hopes that hearing what I say might make sense in your mind and make it possible for you to find a way to live out this life as successfully as you can. You may not believe in what I have to say but it is the only thing I can think to share and I instinctfully feel strongly that I should.
My story: I'd have to say this started as a teen, when at odd times, my subconscious mind would alert me that I was standing like a man or walking like a man. I am female, so I would change my position, but I never understood it. Later I read books of those who died in Hospital but were revived and their stories of what they learned while on the other side. About that time, I believe I heard God ask me if I would believe that reincarnation was for real. I knew that wasn't my own mind saying things and it actually made sense now, a part in one book where a woman told how while her heart had s topped she was on the other side and told and shown things so she could share with others. The one thing that was eye opening and reincarnation made sense now, was her telling how after we pass on, a soul gets recuperation time first and later when it is time to be born into another life, they get to choose the sex they will be and who the parents are. Based on what experiences or things a soul wants to learn in the next life, they get a few options of family situations where it will be possible to go through the changes if they so choose once in a body again. However we won't remember past lives or that we choose the life we were born into. Another thing she told is that most souls have a preferance for being born into one sex or another. So one who is usually born as one sex will switch it up a few times to be born the opposite sex.
Now I share from my time as a Christian, being gay was wrong in their eyes so would transgender or what you feel. I struggled with repetitive dreams that were always the same, I was a big hefty warrior type of man but in the house i grew up in. There was a hoard of bad men trying to get inside as the back door to harm my family. Problem was, as dreams go, the door was a bit smaller than the door frame and we couldn't lock it, so eventually the bad guys came stumbling in and I would grab them and snap their necks as if I was snapping a toothpick...easy peasy. I also had dreams in which I was a male making love to a woman. Both dreams freaked me out because of 'Thou shalt not kill' and the fact I am truly a female but dreaming I was a male? Did this mean I was transgeder or messed up somehow. I was in my late thirties when I learned of reincarnation and read the one book of many but the most profound to me. So I asked God what was up. The answer I got was that I am a soul who prefers being female but have been born as a male by my choice enough times for my soul to remember some things about being a male, like being strong, protecting family and interested in women for sex. He said if I could come to terms with the fact I had actually killed men in the past only to protect others, that I would no longer have those dreams. I agreed right then and there and never had those dreams again. I enjoy being female but at time I still feel like a male for brief moments. So my wild guess is that you are a reverse of me, a soul who spent most lifetimes as a male but as we are encouraged to do, choose some lifetimes where we are a female. SO here you are, resenting it now. Yup, its got to be a shock if deep down you spent most lives as a man. Of course you don't remember details, only feeling like being female is a curse. I am betting this was supposed to happen, that you would initially feel frustrated as a female, feel its a curse. As soon as I believed I had chosen my current life, every time some hardship came along, hurtles to go over, I have repeated told myself, this is the life you chose on purpose to learn something. Maybe not to even improve ones soul but to know what it is like for other females.
So if you can accept these thoughts, and decide that you will use your life to find ways to make life for other females improved in some way, then you will find purpose and it should't feel like a curse but a mission you are on, to help bring some change to your circle of influence, maybe even something bigger, a changing of laws that helps women. Think of the women who fought for women to be able to vote. I'll bet there were some there whose souls used to be men. A man would not accept defeat but press on. You can do it dear. If you wish to talk more, just go to my column and write to me from there.
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