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Does anyone have any DEEP, thorough advice for getting my life together?
So I have mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, anger, social anxiety) and stress and perfectionism so severe that it keeps me from functioning like a normal person.
Please no med or therapy talk, 'cause I do those already with no luck at all.
I want to be COMPLETELY natural with my recoveries.
I want to learn from you all on how to get my life together. I want to work one day, but I definitely cannot at the moment, because of how severe my disabilities are.
But anyway, just a real deep, insightful, thorough talk to me on getting my life together, including how to make friends, self-care, etc.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Well hon, if it took simply willpower, you would already have success. As for regular talk therapy, that's only getting your thoughts out, not always learning how to control them. Half the time, our problems stem from distorted, negative thinking. I can address the social anxiety as I overcame that on my own, however I was willing to do anything to get better. You may not pray but I did and what I heard from God and followed, until I got one step perfected and then was given the next step, well ... its not just mumbo jumbo and me thinking I heard from God, because a couple years ago I read a book I got at the library by Dr. David D. Burns a psychologist who used to use only medication to help but now writes and trains other Dr.s to use CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which will deal with the bad thinking and he has another method.
I was astonished to find in his book the exact same remedy I used to get over my social anxiety that I heard from God but this time from a Psychologist. I can paste that doc in now and at the end of it will say a bit about Depression and give something you can try. But I really must stress that you look over the website of this Dr. I mentioned, because there are now Dr.s using his methods and they work better because the majority of what falls under mental illness is all due to poor thinking patterns that need to be stopped and no medication is needed the majority of the times.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Overcome Shyness/Social Anxiety
It took until I was about 17 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy. I didn't have the guts to just switch behavior and start talking. Strange how I never thought to talk to my dad about that and get help from him. So I prayed and asked God for help (He knows each of us better than anyone )
and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered.
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
This should help you.
Now on Depression. Everyone on the planet faces stress at some point. It is our feel good hormones that we create inside our bodies that help battle what stress would do to us. However, some people face tons of stress on a daily basis, being stuck in a bad place and so there is no relief. So the natural amounts of a full tank of feel good hormones will run low or run empty and being so low, another word for that is depressed, such as saying the normal levels of hormones are depressed (too low). So Depression simply means the levels are too low. The reason I gave isn't the only reason why one can be depressed. The other reason (clinical depression) is when your body is unable to create these toxins at all, no matter what you do naturally and you must take medicine that simulates the hormones you can't produce to handle stress. I have experienced the situational depression when too many stressful things went wrong at once. However after a day or two of that, I can't stand being depressed and will resort to several of the things I will list now which are known to help your body immediately begin producing more of your own feel good hormones.
My daughter, depressed after a boyfriend dumped her, asked me what she could do. I gave her this list. I guess she didn't think I knew anything so she used her one free visit through work insurance to see a professional who said, that if she couldn't afford to come in again and had to battle this on her own, the best thing she could do is follow a list of activities that would help. She was astounded as the list was the same I gave her but I found mine on line.
Rebuilding Your Feel Good Hormone Supply
1. Music: Listening to it or singing. For singing, it is advised you sing a song quieter at first and build up to singing as if you were on stage. If you can't bring yourself to sing being too depressed, then at least try singing Amazing Grace over and over til you feel better. Many have said that this one song helps them As for listening, this is one of my favorites, I will collect songs that make me feel good when I listen to them. It is not the lyrics that matter here but the melody. The feeling I get is as if my heart is as light as a helium balloon and is floating upwards in my chest. I have these songs on my computer or you can put on your iphone. I will put a song on repeat and listen to it several times in a row and when done, I already feel better. Its amazing how quick this works. For an example for you, the very best and favorite song that does this for me is Clocks by Coldplay. There is something about that melody. I recently found something else on Youtube that I have to listen to over and over as it does the same for me, the song is Lone Croft Farewell by Railroad Earth.The melody that works for one person will not necessarily work for another, so keep searching until you find a few that help.
2. Movement: Dancing is a good one, it can be whatever you like, interpretive dance to the music, just dance as if no one is watching. Other types of movement that help are any kind of exercise, hard work can give you the same feelings, so jogging, gym workouts but my favorite is skipping and I am no young kid but grandma age. So I feel silly if I am skipping but it makes me automatically start laughing. Even joining a yoga class may help.
3. Laughter: So this brings us to laughter. The body will create more of the feel good hormones as you laugh. Not one quick laugh but on going, lots of it. Now everyone has a different sense of humor. Get familiar with yours and watvh comedies that cater to your sense of humor and laugh away to wellness.
4. Hugs: Yes, hugs can make a person feel better. I don't understand how this works or why, but thank God it does. This is one of the easiest to do. There are many studies being done on just this one thing. There are plenty of videos on youtube about Hug therapy. The catch is, it can't be a quick barely touching a person hug. That will not help at all. If you don't believe me, try it out. I heard somewhere that around a dozen hugs a day are what is needed to avoid feeling glum or depressed. But who recieves that many a day? I don't, however I do the best I can and when I greet friends or are leaving, I give them a nice big bear hug, as long as you can. You can't give a hug without getting one in return. About this kind of hug, to be therapeutic for you, wrap your arms around them and start the hug. Most people let go too quickly, right about when they start to feel the other persons energy, or vibes, or just encounter uncomfortable feelings. This is not the time to stop the hug! Carry it through a bit longer and you will feel the effect. This is another of my favorites and works as well as listening to songs.
5. Meditation and Prayer: This has also been mentioned to help. If depressed, who is really going to want to do any of the things on this list, however Meditation or prayer, will be hardest of all these things as you have to quiet your mind. That is hard for me to do, even though I am a very spiritual person. It certainly has not helped me when I am too upset to concentrate. But you are very welcome to do it if it really helps you. Start off with 10 deep cleansing breaths. Watch some videos or get a book on meditation if that seems to help you.
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