|
What do I do if my boyfriend struggles with peer pressure?
I have been dating this a guy for almost a year and one of the biggest things we argue about is his inability to stand up for himself or others. For example, a couple of months ago one of his "so called" friends called me a bitch online and my boyfriend did not say anything to him as “I didn't tell him to”. The only way he did was by me calling him and telling him how hurt I was that he hadn't said anything as he always told me he didn't like this "so called" friend anyway. Basically, he felt that he couldn’t say anything as his mom and his “so called” friend’s mom were best friends.
***I am the type of person that will stand up for anyone I love regardless of the situation.
Now he is in college and I am a senior in high school and recently he decided that during the little amount of time we had to talk that he would hang out with his friends that he had been hanging out with all day because he felt as if he couldn't say no. He texted me saying that he was probably going to stay up late and would text me good morning tomorrow. This might not sound bad, but just the night before he told me he was tired and that he was going to bed early. He said that he felt okay going to bed early when texting me because he feels comfortable with me but not his friends.
My question is how should I feel about this? I keep telling him that he needs to stand up for himself otherwise he is going to get pushed around. He counters my argument by saying that just like my anxiety it’s not easy to fix. So am I asking too much of him? What should I do?
In my heart, I feel as though he needs to stand up for himself otherwise I am going to get hurt somehow. I love him so much, but when he chooses peer pressure over me I feel inferior. If he wanted to talk to me over his friends that he had been hanging out with all day, why can’t he just say no?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I suffer from sever social anxiety, and currently my own issues to deal with lol. However I was exactly where you're boyfriend is at one point in my life thanks to that anxiety.
What worked for me was getting rid of those toxic people who surrounded me. It took until my junior year of high school before I did anything, I got tired of being a "follower" as my real friends said. After getting rid of everyone I found I had about three real friends and my self confidence and even my relationships with other people improved.
I think you should try to work with him and find out what is really causing this trouble in his life. If you cut it away from him, like I did with myself I think you will see a improvement.
You your self should never put yourself in harm's way weather it be emotional or physical harm. So if it becomes to much to deal with I would try to wake him up with a little "scare" in a sense.
Good luck and I hope I helped :)
]
More Questions: |