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You answered my previous question and i would like more help
so you answered a question about me and my sisters brothers sister and our sexual adventures. So i just need help on how to approach her. Like do i just say "hey you remember when i was rubbing your clit on the couch, you wanna take that farther?" or like idk what do i say, she is kinda awkward and so am i so idk how to approach it. Plus i still dont know if she would tell her brother like i dont know how close they are. I also think it would be kinda awkward if she said no and we're both over there because then there's this awkward silence and we're still often left at their house alone together, and when stuff is planned out isnt it more awkward. Plus what if we start doing it and she doesn't like it and tells like her mom or someone then there's more problems. Should we just start with kissing. there are so many factors an di am so nervous
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I remember my teen years and again when my kids were that age. I had social anxiety, they did not. Either way didn't matter, those are still awkward years for ALL teens. It's just that some are very good at hiding it. I can only remember one girl who in grade school was genuinely not awkward, a leader type and lots of self confidence and she was the same in HS and recently at a reunion, exactly the same. There are not many who yet have total self confidence at the teen age years.
All I can say as far as you feeling nervous, it is either because you truly are not ready to do anything like this with someone else or it is nervous about what to say. If you can be honest with yourself and you feel not ready to experiment with other willing girls, then it is best to only focus on pleasing yourself for now. Just do masturbation and thats it. Unless you want some kind of vibrator for the clit and at your age you can't enter a sex toy store, you can find alternative items that vibrate and will do the job and are not sex toys. The vibrating toothbrushes I've seen on line sold as sex toys simply because they came up with a different end to put where the bristles go. If the non bristle side is used, it works very well, I have tried it. Hey I have to know if I am recommending these, right? Also, any kind of hand held vibrating muscle body massager if not too cumbersome to hold works good too. My husband recently saw a battery run contraption for filing finger nails, runs on battery and size of battery operated toothbrush, and came with different sanding or buffing option to slip over the plastic end. It was at a dollar store and he got it to surprise me with. And yes, it works very well the battery seems to last longer in that than in official sex toys.
Now that I've covered that, If you feel it's just feeling awkward about how to start the subject, best not to just bring it up when the situation is wrong. Lets say you two are talking about something you saw on Instagram or some other social media and your next statement of 'remember when I was rubbing your clit' is blurted out when the topic of conversation wasn't anywhere near that, then heck yes, that is very awkward and can put off the other person initially, even if they are open to the subject.
Your touching her once would be like a guy friend of yours that is only a friend, not a romantic possibility, just walking up and kissing you real long one day. You'd have to tell him right then if you didn't like that, didn't have those kinds of feelings for him, just friend and if he behaves from then on, a one time kiss shouldn't affect the relationship. So what if this guy comes to you a month later and says, Hey, remember when I kissed you? You didn't say you liked it or not. I was wondering if you'd like to kiss on a regular basis. This is imagining yourself in your girlfriends shoes, different core topic but still the same possible awkward feelings.
Now lets imagine the guy and you are talking about a couple at school who seem to spend more time kissing in the hallways than in class studying. The topic is already about kissing. So if he steers the kissing subject to you, he could say, "Yeah, as much as I like kissing, and I liked kissing you that one time, I can't see letting kissing take over my life so I have no time for school or my buddies or later, a job. But I also know that kissing is something I want to do in my teen years. It is fun and it is safe and no girls can get pregnant from just kissing. So I am wondering how you feel about it?
Now you were already on the subject of kissing so even if it makes you feel awkward or nervous, he didn't just start talking about it out of no where and I guarantee the level of nervousness would be less if not much at all. There will always be a level of nervousness for our first time at anything. Some of my examples are first time I practiced with a parent riding a bike, first time I went on a driving school lesson on the streets, first time at any new job, first time giving birth to a child. Those are valid reasons to feel nervous, things you have not experienced before. However as I said if you are not ready or never ready, there are other options. For me, instead of learning to ride a bike, just walking, for learning to drive, choosing to bus it everywhere instead and never learn to drive, for having a baby, choosing to adopt instead of give birth, for working a job, starting my own business and working for myself, not someone else.`
Now if you wait for a related topic of boys, kissing or sex to come up, it may be a long wait. You can try to lead the conversation in that direction by asking things generally related to the topic. If you know a girl who thought she was pregnant, discuss how it must have felt, so scary to think at that age you might be pregnant. If you watched a good movie about a pregnant teen, talk about it, even if you were the only one who saw it. Then you can follow it up with, "It got me thinking how even though I have all these sexual desires and want some release, I wouldn't want to take birth control at my age and don't even know how to go about getting it and I'd be so worried about becoming someones girlfriend and him pushing for sex with me and the possibillity of getting pregnant. And that reminded me of the other day when I rubbed your clit. That got me to thinking, that it is the safest way to enjoy sex with a partner without getting pregnant. I remember how you reacted. YOu seemed to like it but I am not sure. So tell me what you thought about it and if you feel two straight girls, or two girls who know they are not gay, could enjoy sexually pleasing each other. If you don't want to, thats fine, it was just an idea and I won't mention it again.
Does that sound awkward? It doesnt to me. You explain your line of thinking, and your wanting to know what she thinks. After she has told you where she stands and if she is open to it, you bring up keeping it secret unless some one that knows you both like your sister, her brother finding out anyways, you discuss between you how you would handle it, besides being embarrassed. What would you say to each of them? I think you don't have to explain yourself at all unless they start assuming you are gay or bi sexual when you aren't. Then you can explain that you both like boys but want sex now with someone but dont want to chance getting pregnant from a boy and if they mention birth-control, if it harsh on the young still maturing body to start using a medication that will distort your normal cycle and condoms aren't as safe as reported to be and young guys don't always know how to handle them safely. If you feel the need to ever explain to anyone but no guts to do so face to face for fear of blushing, stuttering, or w orse, just running away, then write that person a note to explain you are not gay and this is your way to enjoy sex without getting pregnant. End of story and you'd appreciate their not saying anything.
It would be in very bad taste for any family member to go sharing stuff like this with anyone and everyone. I would think your sis and her brother are mature enough since older. But if they ever threaten to share these details, you tell them its inappropriate and they wouldn't like it if you retaliated with stories about them sexually. I highly doubt that will ever be a problem. YOur biggest obstacle is discussing this with your friend. ANd if she is totally against it, you say it was just an idea and you will never mention it again or touch her like that again and if there is good trust between you, it shouldn't change the friendship or make it awkward. I've had boyfriends or now my husband suggest something that I don't like and I tell him so and that does not change our relationship at all. Even if my husband does something for the first time and I don't appreciate for reasons of my own, ANd that has happened. I told him but then I cried and said i was crying because it is so important to me that he not do that again the way he had but that I still love him and he apologized and never did it again. It hasn't damaged the relationship. IT
is when we don't talk things out, that people run into trouble in any kind of relationship, be it couples, friends, coworkers or boss, parents and siblings. If it is something difficult to discuss and you know you'll have a hard time finding the right words or examples to use, then before you start talking about the subject, simply say, there is something I need to say to you but it is going to be difficult for me. I ask you to allow me to finish first before you respond and also look past any bad wording or examples to the actual thing I am trying to say to you. If you are not sure what I meant, rephrase it and ask if I meant that or ask me to explain in different words. ANd then you start the awkward topic. Anyone who already has a relationship with you and is a good friend or partner, will trust you enough to not jump to conclusions before you are done explaining and will answer kindly and thoughtfully and not chew you out or call your ideas stupid or something else.
I hope this has helped you dear.
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