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Is this a coincidence or not?
I recently found out that the friends of the guy I have a crush on are actually trying to set me up with and we're trying to the night we all went as a group but he was being shy I guess I was too. Now they are trying to set up another outing to bring us together. Does this means he likes me or just a coincidence? I mean they wouldn't go through this trouble if he didn't like me? Does it give me a better chance if his friends like me and want us to date?
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Is this a coincidence or not--Since coincidence means that something or someones happen to occur or be in the same place at the same time without having planned it, that is what coincidence is. This wasn't left up to chance that both of you attended. Whoever planned the outing and invited you both did so because they wanted you to be part of the outing. If there were any motives to asking you both, especially if they've never done it before, then it starts to look like a plan to have you meet, otherwise the motive you think of may not even be true and you are just invited as mutual friends of the planner of the event.
Now they are trying to set up another outing to bring us together. Does this means he likes me or just a coincidence? ---No matter how many times your friends plan an outing and invite you both, it is not a coincidence. That is the wrong word if you want to know if they are planning this on purpose. As to it being a sign that the guy likes you, there is no way to tell. If the guy told your group of friends that he likes you, maybe then they are trying to help out. But if he's as shy as you say he is, that is info he may not have shared or ever dream of sharing even with other friends.
they wouldn't go through this trouble if he didn't like me, would they? --- Yes, they would. Two people don't have to be interested already in each other for friends to play matchmaker. For whatever reasons of their own, people who play matchmaker do so if they think they see any similarities in the two selected people. Right now, the only similarity you've mentioned is that both of you are shy. That is not enough to base a relationship off of, and you two may not have anything in common. But just the fact that you both are more shy, quiet, introverted means that there is a chance you may get along and that is enough to get friends to play matchmaker.
Does it give me a better chance if his friends like me and want us to date? ---I have heard of a mixed bag of results where match making friends were wrong and the two had nothing in common, didn't end up liking each other even if they tried to date, couldn't stand each other, were too scared to approach and never did, or did date and hit it off wonderfully. Everyone has different personalties. In a group of friends I hung out with for lunch every day in HS and again from where I worked, We all had a few things in common, but I had things in common with one member that I didn't with the others, and so on with the others. So just because you get along with the rest of the group, does not automatically mean that they like him also because you all are carbon copies of each other. There are differences, there will always be differences between people. Heck even my husband and I have differences, like taste in music and the type of humor we find funny but we have way more in common than we don't. So to press the example, if he wanted to take me to comedy movie based on his taste of humor, I probably would not go and he would invite a friend with the same taste, who will appreciate the movie.
NOw to give you some pointers on what you did not ask like "What can I do to increase my chances with this guy?" There is no way to increase your chances that don't involve you moving outside your comfort zone. As long as you are interested in meeting him, getting to know him and see if the two of you might actually like each other just beyond attraction to looks, then you have to face your fears. Well it could be fear and also a lack of confidence. I used to suffer social anxiety as a younger adult but now have quite the social butterfly. I can approach a person who seems shy and quiet and not likely to talk but speak first to them and they will respond with a smile and chat back. That is because a great majority of personalty type basics split into four groups, two of which take up the majority of population. ITs only that half are extroverts and half are introverts. The percentage of people who do not respond favorably and mumble and never smile and try to leave and avoid you are a very small percentage and those types would never go to a group outing, they tend to be loners. So all you have to do is say something first. Until you two are on a talking basis, you can not move on to any level closer to dating and being more than friends. Right now it sounds like you both are only acquaintances and not actual friends yet.
Think about what is holding you back from approaching him and talking to him. Anything in you, preconceived ideas, any fears, etc.... ANd if you don't know what to do to get around it, then let me know by going to my column to write to me from there. I can help if you have no idea how to start a converation with anyone and generally just jump into one already going. If you are not shy just with guys you like but its more like social anxiety with everyone, let me know because I can give you hints on what to do to overcome it as long as you push yourself to do the steps. NO hurry, just doing at your own pace. I overcame my shyness, anxiety in just about two months. It doesn't take long when you are sick and tired of being shy and want to do something about it.
By the way, you only said you found out but not how you found out that friends are trying to set you up. If its something passed on to you from one person in the group who says they are not involved but others are, you can't know for sure until you point blank ask the ones named. Same thing if you heard from some friends outside this group. Words passed on can't always be relied on as totally correct or true.
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