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Crush for years
i like this guy but we have been talking on and off for years. i would like to hang out with him but right now, i do not feel so confident about it because i have gained some weight. My question is i am not sure if he likes me back. He sometimes initiates conversation and alot of times i do. he says he\'s shy in general and not just around girls.
we talk to each other a lot and he has found me on dating sites, then messages me on there. he sometimes can be ballsy then other times he isn\'t. he has hinted in the past to hang out or it seemed like he did.
he said we\'ve been talking to each other for years and it\'s been nice but also a tease.
he has\'s also asked me about what my type was and teased me for liking girls lol. he then asked me if i wanted his number and so he gave it to me. plus gave me hints on welp you should ask me to hang out with you.\r\nwhy can\'t balls up to ask me?!
I apologize if some of this does not make sense, i am typing this fast. He does talk to me but doesn\'t always reciprocate. i take it he might not be a big texter or what. I've been really wanting to hang out with him but i am very self-conscious right now about my weight. i don\'t think he\'s talking to other girls but i am sure he is. Any advice? i don\'t think he is a big talker or goes after girls., which is awesome (does not talk about sexual stuff)
maybe the best thing is to hang out with him a bunch of times to feel him out first.
we hung out in the past and it wasn\'t good. a few years later, we apologized and reconnected. i might have other stuff to say but this is it for now, again i apologize for any errors lol. I guess it is a bad crush, i guess haha
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I would like to know what happened in the past that you consider was not good. That just may shed light on something going on here that you may not be aware of that I may know about human behavior.
If he contacted you on dating sites, the guy is interested in you. He needs to spend time in person with you to get to know you better to see if he likes you and then loves you.
A real crush in most cases is very one sided where the gal is crazy about the guy but due to whatever issues her mind throws at her and the resulting lack of self confidence, she does nothing and the guy is not aware at all that she likes him.
But I can not tell from what you wrote if this is someone you've known locally and have talked to in passing or if this is all an LDR on line. Since this has dragged on for years, my guess is that its Long distance. Why? Because people who meet others on line tend to want to stay on line unless they are only using it as a tool to learn of the others existence and then take it into the real world. That's how I met my 2nd husband and after a week on line and phone calls, met in person. Spending time in person is important for several reasons to know if a relationship is going to work out. Most important, you can feel like best friends and sense a meeting of minds. I had this happen many times in a week or two of online. Then when we met in person, neither of us felt that chemistry or only one of us. Of course, I am older and older people don't have time to mess around and get right to the point, no chemistry, no relationship as a couple, maybe friends but thats it.
He's asked what your type is. There are quite a good amount of guys who get the relating to females right. He wants to know what type of guy you are looking for. Most people can't answer this question cus they have no clue and never gave it thought but I had such a list I used in finding my 2nd husband after I'd learned my lessons the hard way thru the school of hard knocks. But this is a very important question. If you want to learn how to find Mr. Right and whether this guy might be him, you'd need to work on the lists and I have a document i can paste in if you want it, just let me know by writing to me through my column, its called How to find Mr. Right. It worked for me. I also have a document on gaining self confidence for yourself. Why I recommend it, I have things about me too I have thought in past a guy may not be interested in. Just because 8 out of 10 men won't like something about me doesn't mean the other two are faking it, they will truly be attracted and love for me. No one needs to be the kind who attracts 10 out of 10 cus most of those attracted will be wrong for you. I got that alot on dating sites.
Since he's shy, he may always be shy and too quiet for you or once you've both spent time together in person for lets say up to 6 mos, he should know if he's interested enough to want to still hang around or move on. Beware that if he is painfully shy or has severe social anxiety, there's a chance he might still have it with you and never get comfortable with it even in person. Or he may be too unsure of himself, like you, for whatever reason and is waiting for you to make all the moves to be in a relationship, doing all the work for him. If he doesn't have to do anything to start a relationship with a girl who pursues him, some really shy types will glom onto you and not let go cus they are too scared to go through the process again of hunting for a mate. It's more comfortable to stay with a known quantity or situation than to move forward even if it turns out the two of you can't get along, aren't treating each other like and being each others best friend, and lack of chemistry or its so low there's no spark in romance or sex. This doesn't mean he's the perfect mate for you if you are just his security blanket and help him feel more normal for having someone he can call girlfriend. So let me know if I can help further with any specifics, otherwise, just spend time in person and often, and do lots of in depth convo's not about the weather, or whats happening in local news but the deeper stuff. If you have no clue what that is and want to know so you can do it right, just ask me.
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