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What Should I DO?????
I am a 15 year old boy and I know it's gonna sound really strange to adults but I think I really fell in love with my best friend's sister last year. Since then I managed to keep a close relationship with her ( we were only friends) and recently ( two months ago ) I told her how i Feel about her. She was surprised. However we did become a couple. I was sooooo hapyyyyy. Although we have broken up I can't get her out of my head since we last broke up ( 1 month ago). Ok we said we could be friends. But we are not as we used to be. I have made a couple attempts to move on but I dont think I will ever Feel the same about anyone.I dont wanna give up on her. I was actually thinking to make a move again in one year or so. But she doesnt give me much attention or she doenst text me especially now when she is on vacation. She seems to have completely forgotten about me. She doesnt know how I feel about her. Now, I know some of you are gonna say " Move ON!" "You are worth way more much". But the truth is, this girl has inspired me to accomplish so much this year and I dont wanna move on. I only wanna be with her. PLease, if you are to give me some advice then please dont try talking me out of staying dedicated to her. I wann a stay with her. I dont know whether now is the right time to say her how i feel. But I want you people to tell me what i should do some day to get her back.Thank You!
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Lets turn the tables and pretend that you are the one who broke it off and didn't show much interest in a certain gf anymore. She is still interested and doesn't want to move on. But you spent enough time with her as a couple to know that though initially you were attracted, which happens to many of us, that after a while, you realized that you no longer had any interest in her. Would you expect that she should get some great advice that will change your mind and make you fall in love with her again, even if you have already decided you do not want to be with her forever, to ever date until you marry, have kids and grow old together? Do you think there is something another person can say or do that would make you fall for the same person you were no longer in love with? This is reality. It is not some conjured up hope. Lets talk scientifically and psychologically for a moment. In the beginning of any new relationship, there is something called NRE, New relationship energy. IT is a heightened feeling of excitement and warm fuzzy feelings that make you want to spend lots of time with a person and its easy to fall in love. However, NRE, is not the real thing and can fade after a while for a person. Maybe you felt the real thing and for her, it was only NRE that had her thinking it would work between you two. Both need to feel the same way after NRE wears off. I can explain that level of excitement in another way that hasn't anything to do with a relationship as this type of heightened exciement can occur in other things...like for example when a little kid, watching commercials for a new toy. You wanted it so bad and went to look at it in the toy aisles and it sounded so good you had to have it and asked Mom and Dad to get it for your Birthday or Christmas and then you could hardly wait until you recieved it. Then once you had it, you played with it all the time the first couple weeks, or maybe a month or longer. But at some point, you lost interest in it, and its not because it was a bad product. Another kid geared toward that type of hobbie or interest would be mentally stimulated enough to always find enjoyment in it. I too asked for things that I lost interest in after a while even though I was so excited in the beginning and thought it the best present I ever had. I learned that I was geared more towards the craft type of kits, painting by numbers, spirograph, any creative type of toy. So I wisely asked only for the things I knew would hold my interest.
Same for relationships. Some times, a person will not hold an interest for something or a person beyond a certain amount of time.
I believe you that you indeed do love her. The thing about one person confessing their deep feelings if the other doesn't feel as deeply, is that it will make the act of trying to remain friends, awkward for the one who doesnt feel the same. So she may feel awkward trying to spend with you as a friend when she knows the feelings you have for her have not changed. I have experienced that once. Many older people in college and older write in with the same situation. I can't tell you to stop feeling that way. You will probably always have a soft spot in your heart for your first love. And I also know that no one can see into the future and imagine anyone better or just as great as someone they lost to death or an unrequited love. But it can come later, after you grieve from the loss of her not feeling the same as you. Take your time, but if you try again in the future and she just doesn't feel that connection to you, then the best thing is to not harrass her or try to keep making something happen that won't ever scientifically or psychologically be able to occur.
One more thing people aren't always aware of cus we cant see, or hear, or taste with any of our senses is something called pheromones. If two peoples pheromones are quite similar or the same, it will be a strong lasting attraction. However if the pheremones differ too much, it will not be there or not last beyond the NRE. This is what people are talking about sometimes when they say there is no chemistry or they don't feel any chemistry with a person. After a divorce, I dated alot til I met my second husband. When I did not feel that connection to a guy, I let him know that I did not feel any chemistry, no matter how nice and wonderful a guy was. None of them remained just friends cus it was too awkward for them. I do have that chemistry with my 2nd husband. I thought I'd had that with the ex husband but realized I was mistaken at the time because what I have with hubby now is not comparable to what I thought was true lasting love with my first husband.
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