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How to handle the pressure of being in a mixed race relationship?
I'm a Caucasian woman raised in a family that's all white on both sides. I've dated a few guys in the past who were Asian or Caucasian, but never somebody from African American descent. I briefly tried to date one Arabic guy and my family would have none of it, my dad routinely calling him racial slurs, and celebrated our break up.
Well I just met a really great guy who's educated and a total sweetheart. He has great ambitions and we seem to have a lot of common goals in life. I see us winding up dating fairly soon (he already bought me chocolates on Valentines day), but I'm kind of scared for it.
My family is very racist against African Americans and I know if it got to the point where I needed to tell them who I was dating they'd probably have a heart attack. My dad might even disown me. I'm also afraid of the judgement I know I'm going to get from his friends and my friends and I feel like especially now, the tensions in America are high for mixed race relationships.
Most guys in their 20's are total clowns. They just want to party and most of them are complete jerks who know they can just go on Tinder and get another chick whenever they want. Hopefully this doesn't come off bad, but I've especially seen this type of behavior in the white guys in my community. I would never say this if I didn't see it a lot, but I am and it makes me sad. It's genuinely deterred me from dating.
This guy seems different though and like he would really appreciate me and how hard I'm working and that we could support each other in our career and education goals.
I don't know what to do. I really want to give this guy a chance, but I also love my family and friends so much. I don't want to alienate myself and I don't want his friends to think badly of him either because I know there's a lot of negative stereotypes on both sides.
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You guys could try dating in secret but that would be really hard and when your family finds out youve been keeping it from them theyll be even more angry.
Tell your family this, its 2017 and everything is changing and everyone is more accepting and they should be too. Not all african americans are the same and if they give the guy you like a chance they could see hes a pretty nice educated young man that will treat you right, if your family loves you they should accept your decision.
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